In a perfect world, your birthday would be your perfect day. We don’t live in that universe, but also… what if we did? For the last team roundtable of our Birthday Issue, here’s our take on our ideal birthdays!
Monday Roundtable: Our Ideal Birthdays
Did You Like This?
Independent queer media needs your support to survive. Become a member now so we can make more gay stuff like this.
the team
the team has written 818 articles for us.
Comments
I’m the Grinch about my birthday because I hate anything people will tell me about myself all day for not really a good reason. I take time off work to avoid the small talk.
But one time it was on the first day of Acamp, when it’s actually nice to have an ice breaker built in for long lost friends and strangers, *and* everyone has already agreed to be pretty fucking excited(and do a whole lot of hugging), so it’s not out of anyone’s way to sing loudly to a stranger at dinner. AND IT WAS ALSO SOMEONE ELSE’S BIRTHDAY SO I GOT TO REPLY “THANKS, YOU TOO” NOT BY ACCIDENT And I had a birthday boi crown and it was a travel day, so everyone was too tired to stay up late so I didn’t have to do that either.
So I mean after that my birthday is pretty much retired.
I’m not sure what my ideal situation is, but it would definitely be something exciting with tons of people. My August birthday was during moving week in college, so I was never able to have big parties because everyone was still living out of boxes or hadn’t come back yet. After college, it always landed over Madison Pride, so that was pretty great! I also have a huuugeeeee fear of throwing social events and then no one showing up. Literally my worst nightmare. So I solve that by not organizing anything!
But this year my birthday will be three days after I move to Chicago and I obviously won’t have made new friends by then. So I should come up with a plan to have a an amazing solo birthday. This will probably involve a nice restaurant, a post-moving-soreness massage, and putting together Ikea furniture lol
Rachel I dream about exactly the day you described on a regular basis for those same reasons. Last summer I nearly canceled my vacation plans and spent the time hiding at home instead because all the decision making of solo travel, like what and where to eat, seemed way too fucking demanding and not relaxing at all.
So I’m not big on parties and I hate being the center of attention. I normally just have a birthday dinner and that’s nice but sometimes I’d rather do something else.
I’m a huge movie buff so I think it would be cool to rent out a movie theater I’d hope I’d have a couple friends or even a girlfriend otherwise it would be a depressing birthday. We could have pizza, the movie foods: popcorn & candy and of course a cake!
I’d either like that or I’d like to take a trip, like a weekend trip, again with friends, to someplace I’ve never visited. I’ve never visited NYC and I feel I need one trip in there just to check it out.
I have no idea what I’m doing this year, my birthday falls on a weekday this year so I guess I’m celebrating my birthday that following weekend.
I wanna go to Mika’s birthday party
I think I’ve been to every shitty version of Mika’s birthday party, you know, every single time that Messi plays for Argentina.
Pecho Frío hijo de puta.
i blame at least some of those on Higuain
I too hate attention but having ONE person who my damn birthday mattered to for ONCE would be nice ( can you tell I’ve just had another and am miserable and cranky?! )
Aw Rachel! Happy belated birthday. Your birthday matters to me: I’m glad you made it through another year. I’m glad you’re here, existing and letting us know you need some birthday love. Now pretend that this comment is written in invisible pixels so no one else will see it and you can ignore the fact that someone paid attention to you. Just randomly feel good for no reason you can fathom.
Thank you!
@stef In my area we have an Egyptian duck(two bird watchers said it looks to be someones pet who they didn’t want anymore) that is very agressive and has attacked me once. I tried to find it again weeks later but it was not there.
This is very timely as my birthday and my best friend’s birthday is in two weeks. My dream birthday would be either safely lost in the Yosemite and end the night with a soak in a private hot tub. Or house by the beach with a private hot tub, all you can eat buffet, loads of queer gals and nb pals, along with mary jane. Sadly those really aren’t an option either due to cost or it doesn’t really exist(at least I haven’t found a cabin that has an all you can eat buffet and hot tub full of queer gals. lol So instead I may do what I did new years, and go to a budget sex motel, get the honeymoon suite again and just relax in a hot tub with my best friend. Oh and order loads of food.
hello yes i would like one order of heather/laneia birthday, please, hydrated and snuggly with nothing wrong, always and forever
For Christmas, my fiancee surprised me with tickets to a showing of Hamilton on my birthday (coming up next month!). It’s a matinee, because I’m incapable of staying up late enough for evening shows, and she’s agreed to wake up early so we can explore the city and go to my favorite Indian place for lunch. I didn’t know that this was my ideal birthday, but it totally is (also I’m so excited that I get to marry a woman who buys me surprise Hamilton tickets, you have no idea).
My ideal birthday is big and bold because I’m just a party monster, I guess! There’d be lots of people having fun and lots going on; lots of games like Twister or relay races that require activity and interaction! There’d be a bounce house and water slides, and other carnival games! There’d, of course, be a DJ blasting everything from the 70s up through now, and lots of dancing! People could embibe if they like, but nobody would be stupid, falling-down drunk. There’d be lots of good food and a large, decadent cake! And oh yeah, people could bring me lots of gift-wrapped toys that I could rip open just like when I was a kid, and then I could donate them to a worthy children’s charity! I could, of course, keep any that I just couldn’t live without, LOL!
Vanessa, can you tell I’m an un-fulfilled, unrequited “birthday brat?” I used to imagine at least “medium-sized” kid parties growing up, and barely anyone would come. So I’ve had to adjust a bit as I’ve grown older.
P. S. I just loved the whole “quack quest!” That was, in deed, one fancy duck! I love anything with feathers too. Birds have always been my thing.
BIRTHDAY BRATS UNITE!
this is so dreamy
also my birthday is happening during a-camp just a reminder JUST A REMINDER
oh babe I AM READY FOR YOUR A-CAMP BIRTHDAY
JUST U WAIT
<3 <3 <3
For breakfast some powdered cinnamon sugar dough nuts that won’t make me sick and some farm eggs. It’s a toss up between a free shopping spree at a good sex shop or that cookware store I love. In a perfect world Cocina Mizado would never have been closed so that’s where’d I go for a lunch with my parents and a friend who loves Pan-Latin cuisine. There are mini lemon butter milk bundt cakes for dessert but my actual birthday cake is a log roll ice cream cake that won’t make me sick and I’ll eat it after dinner.
Dinner is Saba’s and they have that fruity yet cinnamony jasmine tea still.
After dessert is birthday sex then cause I’m a June baby go to one of the Pride related dance parties where my mojito is free and made with good rum not that barcardi shit.
When I get home more birthday sex, my favourite fries in the fridge for a post-coital snack then some more log roll cake and cuddling while watching the sun rise.
One of the birthday gifts is of course being able to sleep in without any interruptions.
This article was posted on my birthday, which was pretty excellent! I’m two months post C-section and my baby stayed with my in-laws while my wife and I went for a long easy hike in one of our favorite state parks. It was cool but sunny and there were signs of spring. It was something we hadn’t done since the summer and it felt so good. I didn’t realize how limited I had felt by pregnancy/c-section recovery/winter. I felt like myself again. I also loved the alone time with my wife. Top it off with dinner at my favorite restaurant. Just so good.
Sounds wonderful. Congratulations on your birthday, your and your wife’s lovely day out and although babies are pretty wonderful and congratulation worthy, Congratulations, mostly on feeling like your own human being again.
Thank you!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WHAT A DREAMY DAY!!!! <3
Yes, totally dreamy! Thank you!
Happy birthday!
The cabin-in-the-woods thing, definitely, but just out of sight through the trees (a pleasant walk away) are two other cabins for our families and friends, so we can spend most of the day together, and there’s a lake so we can go kayaking. We spend some of the time having a massive splash fight with the kayak paddles, but later there’s also a silent kayak ride where you’re allowed to point to show people beautiful things but you have to be super quiet otherwise. It starts raining near the end of the silent kayak ride, then after we’re all back inside there’s a storm all afternoon. We spend the afternoon playing board games or roleplaying (my daughter’s character is a magical talking ferret because let’s be real, it always is) or lying on the extremely comfortable carpet watching the storm through the huge windows and skylights while we catch up with each other. There’s hot chocolate.
Homemade samosas for dinner, family-recipe birthday cake while the storm completely clears up, then we all go outside to watch the stars which are amazing because there’s no light pollution. I get to be in the middle of a husband-and-kid cuddle sandwich while we stargaze, then kiddo gets to spend the night in the family cabin while hubby and I go back to ours. There’s sex and more cuddling, then another storm rolls in to listen to while we fall asleep. All my friends and family have as excellent a time as I do.
I feel silly now, but my assumption when I opened this article was that it would be about when in the year you would, ideally, want your birthday to be.
So I am here to share that while my actual birthday is in December, when I was turning six I moved my birthday to the summer that year, and apparently told my family it was because I wanted strawberries at my birthday. I had a nice beach birthday, with strawberries. And then I still got an extra present on my actual bday, so that was pretty great.
Also I love the birthday mood boards so much!
I was born on Valentine’s Day in the Northern Hemisphere’s winter but have spent most of my life in Australia with my birthday falling in the hottest part of the Southern Hemisphere’s summer. With this in mind, Heather’s snow bound cabin in the woods, fits with the fantasy that I have every year, aided by full burst air conditioning, that I’m really enjoying winter and indulging in all my favourite winter treats.
The long warm cosy sleep in, the welcoming fire and the cuddles with my darling one and our cats as well as the afternoon spent cooking and baking lovely things for dinner. Occasionally ducking outside to enjoy the bite of the cold then curling up to read by the fire. Oh Well! That’s the fantasy. I usually have to wait till midwinter here, to at least get a taste of it though.