In the past we have shared with you two sets of pictures categorized under the “lesbian” “sex” tag on Shutterstock (the incredible stock photography service that hosts billions of images, most of which are fantastic and some of which are totally bananas) and commented upon their various inabilities to accurately represent lesbian sex.
But as we are all far too aware of these days, often the more compelling lesbian situation occurs not where it is intended to exist, but in the spaces between. I realized all the lesbian sex photos were hiding where they usually do: in Close Female Friendship City, population “Thousands Of Lesbians Having Actual Sex In Photographs That Are Not Tagged With “Lesbian.” That’s too bad, I could’ve found them a lot sooner!
Luckily I have taken the liberty of offering alternative titles for these photos. You’re welcome!
1. Lesbian Has Sex With Her Ex
2. Lesbian Uses a Dental Dam For The First Time
3. Lesbian Couple Asked By a Man If They’d Be Down For a Threesome
4. Lesbian Masturbates In Bed While Girlfriend Sleeps Because She Has a Really Early Morning Tomorrow
5. Lesbian Fists Without Lube
6. Lesbian Completes Successful Period Sex
7. Lesbian Feels Her Needs Are Not Being Met in This Threesome, Is Also Unsure What Her Needs are Or What Anybody Does in a Threesome, ‘Cause It Kinda Seems Like Nobody Really Knows
8. Two Bottoms, One Relationship
9. Lesbian Girlfriend Comes All Over Girlfriend’s Face For The First Time
10. Lesbian Asks Girlfriend If She Can Pull Up the Covers ‘Cause She’s Still Kinda Cold, Girlfriend Agrees That It Is Kind of Cold
11. Lesbian Tries To Figure Out If Sex Is Still On The Table Or Not Despite Stomach Pains From Large Dinner Experience
12. Young Lesbians Go Dildo Shopping For The First Time
13. Lesbian Couple Finds The Perfect Erotic Third
14. Lesbian Waits For Her Girlfriend To Put On The Strap-On
15. Lesbian Girlfriends Try Cosmo Sex Tips
16. Experienced Lesbian After Having Sex With a Newly-Out Girl Who’s Never Been With a Girl Before and Coincidentally Never Come With a Partner Before, Until Now
17. Lesbian Bottom Finds The Service Top Of Her Dreams
18. Lesbian With Serious Emotional Boundaries Prepares For Sexual Encounter With New Partner After Period of Self-Induced Celibacy Due to Residual Trauma From Her Last Relationship
18. Two Lesbians On a Date Who Want to Have Lesbian Sex But Are Not Sure Who Is Supposed to Make the First Move
19. Lesbian Having Shower Sex
20. Lesbian Who Doesn’t Do Breakfast Implores Her One-Night Stand To Head Home
21. Long-Distance Lesbian Couple’s Much-Anticipated Week-Long Visit/Sex-a-Thon Derailed By Day Three UTI
22. Lesbian Tries to Get Over Ex-Girlfriend by Having a Threesome with Two “Straight” Mommis She and Her Girlfriend Used to Crush On Together Because They Were All in the Same Pilates Class
23. Lesbian Scissoring
24. Lesbian Gives Specific Detailed Instructions to New Partner On How To Make Her Come
25. Two Lesbians Smiling Proudly In The Success Of This Project
no seriously the actual photo description for photo #24 is “Asian girls engineers are checking the details of a large building from blueprint document. They smile proudly in the success in this project.”
Tag yourself.
I’m “Not Sure Who Is Supposed to Make the First Move” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m the dildo
This is fantastic. Congratulations
Tagging myself as #14
Hahahaha, period sex. That’s a Pune, Albert, a play on words!
#25 Two Lesbians Decide to Try Fisting for the First Time
This is totally what this is
Alternatively two tops find two butch bottoms, a cause for fist pumping(pun intended).
Comedy goldddddd thank you for this.
Laughing SO HARD. I’m 20. Lesbian Who Doesn’t Do Breakfast Implores Her One-Night Stand To Head Home.
Hopefully tagging myself in a few months as the girl knocked out in #16, boxers welcome
Get it!!!
Thanks for the laughs this morning. It was a needed distraction from thinking about having to explain my bruised eye (there was a flying book from a mad kid).
If I ever crack #11 I feel like I’ll have cracked life.
Bravo, Riese, bravo!
Two things:
1) This is the best thing I’ve seen on the internet in a while, and it prompted me to FINALLY get A+ — I’d been meaning to for a while, and this post really epitomized my feelings of “autostraddle is my favorite place to be online, no matter how trash everything else is, autostraddle will always be there with something amazing.”
2) I sent this to my fiancé because she and I have this ongoing joke where, whenever we do something non-sexual but weird (example: try to fit into a bathrobe together to become a monster) one of us goes, “This is how lesbians have sex.” *
*Note: if becoming a bathrobe monster IS how you have sex, I am so in support of you and am not trying to shame you. Party on.
THANK YOU!
(also my girlfriend and i do that same joke, it never stops being funny)
This post and this comment on this post reminded and inspired me to switch from Cobalt to Silver! Because I was a grad student back then, and employed now. Also, I am #24.
Referring to innaffiare’s comment. I should practice my commenting skills to bring them up to caliber with my newfound A+ level.
i think you’re doing A+++++
wowowowow
I see myselffff
I’m the ex in #1 pretending she’s ambivalent about her ex seducing her but inside her heart is pounding to feel that feeling again.
I’m a switch in a relationship with another switch but have definitely been in the #8 situation when we’re both feeling bottom-y.
I found the service top of my dreams like #17 but unfortunately she was married and also abusive.
And I am SO #24 as I try to explain all my gender identity issues around sex, my weird kinks, and what I need in order to cum.
That is SUCH a real addition to #24
That is DEFINITELY how shower sex feels. So many tiny pellets of water hurting my eyeballs.
Also that’s definitely how a UTI feels too. This is really spot on.
I am 16 (hopefully) going on 17!
I’m the one with the UTI :(((((
I’ve been in similar situation to #5, no lube, and dry condom. I felt like a bad(bad as in not doing good job) bottom. It also didn’t help at some point she compared me to another partner of hers, saying that person can has no problem doing with this activity.
I’m waiting for #17 to be me.
#15 made me giggle-snort
#6 nailed it!!!!!!!
This whole thing?:
Was #8, looking for #17. Service top of my dreams, come at me.
# 21, but in my case it was a massive allergy attack where all i was capable of was lying on my back and sneezing my head off.
Curious what kind of stock photos are tagged “Gal pals”. There’s gotta be something good there.
Ah, Number 18, i am both laughing and sobbing inside
This is amazing!!!
also tiny typo note – I believe there are two number 18s
The two #18s are the story of my life.