It’s been over a year since we first opened up and gave you a peek into the wonderful world of lesbian sex according to stock photography and nearly a year since Carolyn blessed you with lesbian kink according to stock photography! My how time has flown. For the uninitiated: stock photography is an underrated art form in which professionals create rights-free images suitable for usage by a variety of magazine and online publications. We have an account with Shutterstock, who we love, and they offer us literally thousands of queer-themed pictures for our work. Most of it is pretty excellent.
Some of it is downright bizarre — especially the stuff we found from searching for pictures of “lesbian sex”! Girls braiding their hair into another girls’ hair, girls grabbing each other’s butts, girls fidgeting with each other’s bra straps, photos suspiciously tagged with both “lesbians” and “twins,” girls in blindfolds, girls with facepaint, girls jamming their teeth into each other’s jaws, girls wrapped in ribbon! So many lesbian sex acts you didn’t even know existed! So many white girls! SO MANY WHITE GIRLS.
27 More Pictures of Lesbian Sexuality According To Stock Photogaphy
1.
WE WANNA TOUCH YOUR BOOBS
2.
Now just let me know if I’m applying too much pressure, okay?
3.
Look bitch, I let you keep the cat, the least you can do is give me my coat back
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4.
Sweetie I think I just pulled my back out
5.
Lisbeth and Jessica were ready for their deflowering but Lisebeth couldn’t help but notice that Jessica’s bloom was just a little bit fuller
6.
Hey babe my clit is over here
7.
Hey babe my clit is back here
8.
HEY! I just met you, and this is CRAZY, but here’s my number —
9.
Are either of you wearing something lavender-scented because I think I’m having an allergic reaction?
10.
Oh hey babe I think you got some of that cake on your face
11.
Donna was finally in Gertrude’s bed having lesbian sex with her hair and she could hardly believe it!
12.
Nobody gets between me and my sexy pants
13.
Are you sure you washed this? It kinda smells like Chicken Parm.
14.
Mhm that’s right, smell the lipstick, smell the lesbian, now smell the lipstick lesbian
15.
Wanna hear about one thing my vagina and this desert have in common
16.
Ugh, Beatrice, you can’t stay under the desk all day! I have work to do!
17.
How’s this? Do we look like we’re having lesbian sex now?
18.
GIVE. ME. BACK. MY. GRANNY. SMITH. APPLE. YOU. MONSTER.
19.
Why anything??!
20.
Ugh Stacey seriously do we HAVE to listen to Sylvan Esso EVERY time we have sex?
21.
Don’t mind the fog machine, it goes off automatically every time I orgasm
22.
WE LOVE FEATHER BOASSSSS!!!!!!!
23.
Melanie was certain this was the best way to get pregnant, but Effie wasn’t so sure
24.
What? Everybody has four arms these days, it’s totally normal!
25.
Ladies, get a move on, this mini-van isn’t gonna drive itself
26.
Excuse me, our love does not exist for the benefit of the male gaze.
27.
We forgot to do laundry and now we’re all out of pants — and underwear!
28.
Fine you can eat my jaw but only if I get to pick what we watch on Netflix tonight
Okay your turn — CAPTION THIS:
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I mean, you don’t *need* face paint and a fog machine to have sex, but without them, are you really living your best life?
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I don’t want to be a lesbian anymore
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These stock photos are so ridiculous and generalizing that I can’t stop laughing.
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Why not continue being who you are. I admire you as a lesbian
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WHY THANK YOU DUANE
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“That,Nathan, that’s sex.”
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzyl4EUdc4k&w=560&h=315%5D
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Argh, that’s supposed to be the spanking scene from “Sugar Rush”,which fit perfectly into the theme.
And to the caption:
“Just another day at the rodeo with Shane McCutcheon.”
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“Can you hit my clay pigeon, cowgirl?”
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“How long do I have to balance this hat on my strap on? Can’t we just get a hat rack like other people?”
“I don’t know, at least as long as you force us to use barrels as coffee tables. I mean – look at it! LOOK AT IT! I can barely hold myself up on it and our hands always smell like whiskey.”
“That’s the only thing our hands are going to smell like with that attitude.”
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yeehaw
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You’re a wanker, #9.
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# 2 is TERRIFYING and the blazer in #3 is just downright too large for both of those folks. all of these are just wonderful though. stock photography is such an art form.
caption: are you sure my nipple looks fine??
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What this is how I do it
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“… Aaactually, my phone corrected ‘Rode-oh’ to ‘rodeo’, but it’s sweet that you put in all this effort for me!”
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Is this not how lesbians have sex? Because if not I’ve been doing something wrong
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“I actually signed up for horseback riding lessons, but I guess this’ll do.”
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‘If I told you you have a beautiful barrel, would you leave me alone with it for a few minutes?’
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“Now milk me, Carol.”
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Are you really sure she wants to be spit roasted in a barrel? I am not sure that is how turkey basting works.
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“I see the liquor, but where the poker?”
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These are almost, ALMOST as good as “Two sets of lips, four hands, four nipples, two vaginas, one belly-button (because Seven didn’t have one), ten fingers and one hell of an explosive orgasm!”
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Number 11: I mean, don’t we braid and style each other’s hair before we get down. Isn’t that why there’s scissors involved? Oh, hmm…my mistake.
“Whiskey dick? Never heard of it.”
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Now, I’ve never had sex, but I’m fairly sure none of those are it. I could be wrong, though. Lack of experience and all that. Have to agree with #18, though, Granny Smith apples are the best!
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Hold your horses! These hats and boots will surely spur us toward a better sex life.
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clit clit vagina vagina come on autostraddle i know you can move past this kind of casual cissexism
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yes i also think women shouldn’t be allowed to talk about their bodies
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just trans women evidently lol
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Lots of trans people have clits and vaginas too!
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I was under the impression that this was making fun of “stock photography” so the photos are more representative of stock photographies idea of lesbian sex, rather than the diversity of lesbian sex.
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Yeah, their types aren’t all that diverse either. It’s stock photography, it wasn’t meant to be diverse. It was meant to be whatever the cis-het photographer thought of when he hears the word “lesbian.” (I’m assuming that a woman would have a slightly better understanding of female anatomy than who ever was in charge of #6.)
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“my clit is really stiff under this cowboy hat. Wait. What do you mean lesbians don’t have erections?”
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“I’m giving hoedown a new meaning.”
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The staring match… strip cowgirl edition
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Is it just me or does #22 (feather boas) look 3D if you stare at it long enough?
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Caption for the “Caption this” photo:
“You tap the keg and I’ll tap you- k?”
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“Vadges?… We don’t need no drinking vadges!”
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Love how everyone in these photos is leaving so much room for Jesus. Like, so much room.
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I like 14 and 22…
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So, the other articles posted today looked too serious to be sharing this, but OMFG… (L’Uomo Vogue, BTW)
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holy shit thank you
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This is just more proof that we need to blow open gender and fashion because shit gets soooo goddamn sexy when we do
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#8: Hey! I just met you, but your bow is so crooked it’s crazy, you need to practice while looking in the mirror.
… I’m a violin teacher ok, that picture hurts my eyes.
But then again, so do most of them. What are you doing whyyyyyy
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these are so ridiculously painful to look at hahahha
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Wait, what does her vagina have in common with a desert? #15
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presumably they’ll both have sand in them …?
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They’re both pretty dry…
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“Peg?!?! I thought you said keg.”
“Why would I bring a keg in to our sex life?”
“I don’t know but I try not to kink shame.”
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Is this a seasoned barrel because I only drink Jameson whiskey?
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Last picture: Real Housewives of Brokeback Mountain
also, I dare anyone to try all of this stuff when having sex
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‘Carol, what is reverse cowgirl again?’
‘I told you, intense eye contact while we walk backwards around this barrel.’
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Up through high school, my only exposure to lesbians was watching Friends (the episode with Ross’s ex-wife) and listening to the one TATU song from 2002. I feel like these stock photos would make about as much sense to me if I saw them back then.
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BRB, I have to go scrub image #2 out of mind. Why??
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“Dammit Cyndi, are we gonna do this, or are you just gonna keep using that strap-on as a hat rack all night?”
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AMAZING.
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This was definitely Sheryl’s first rodeo…
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28: “I’ll be yo’ huckleburry…”
“Two cowgals one barrel”
“is that a ten gallon hat on your pussy or are you just happy to see me?”
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COWGALS!
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Can’t get enough of that wonderful lesbian stuff!