Thanksgiving OPEN THREAD: Feel And Eat Your Heart Out

Welcome, yet again, to another round of The Holiday Season. As is typical this time of year, we’ll be here on every important day from now to January 1st to provide you confort in the shape of of a cozy, nourishing Internet thread. For those of you who will venturing in the all three dimensions of life, why not learn to make mulled wine, vegan pumpkin cheesecake or tofurkey? If you’re going to your lady friend’s family’s house, it might do you some good to check out  our guide on thanksgiving-esque clothes and if you’re dining with your family, we’ve got a little advice on coming out. When you’re done giving thanks, don’t brave the horrific crowds the day after. If you absolutely must shop, stay in and support Autostraddle while you do your online shopping this year.

via bronwlyn at www.bronwynlundberg.com; buy the print at etsy

Before we talk about the looming dose of tryptophan, let’s take a walk down memory lane and take a look at what was going on this time last year:

“Tonight: Watching TV with my dad, he goes on and on about how he *knew* this one character was gay all along because he has great gaydar and I just silently laughed to myself, because O RLY, is that the case because WELL THEN DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU”

And in 2012? Well, I’ll be celebrating by trying to explain to 4-15 Spanish children why we have a holiday that celebrates turkey and correcting them every time they say “Thanksgibing.” It’s really just all glamor, all day. Since I don’t have today off, my friends and I are having Thanksgiving celmuerzo (i.e. linner) on Saturday sans turkey. I know! I’m excited too! My least favorite part of Thanksgiving has always been dodging turkey, mushy vegetables and can-shaped cranberry jell-o stuff. As much as I miss my family, I’m over the moon about making food I actually like on a holiday that’s mostly about eating. And while we’re talking about eating, I’ve got some fantastic news for all you expats our there who can’t find pumpkin. According to the New York Times, butternut squash actually makes a better pumpkin pie than actual pumpkin.

What about you? What are you doing, dreading or drinking? Most importantly, what are you thankful for?

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119 Comments

  1. Thumb up 1

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    I *almost* got out of spending today with family because of ridiculous train ticket prices, only to be invited last minute to go to my new sister-in-law’s family’s house. I’d rather be spending the day drinking wine and watching Top Chef.

    But the rest of the weekend is all mine!

  2. Thumb up 3

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    Spending thanksgiving with a large group of friends and their friends. I don’t recall feeling anything but mild dread and boredom on thanksgiving morning since I was really little and excited over every holiday. But I’m kind of excited for today, and I’m glad that I’m here instead of dodging melodramatic relatives and wishing my cousins hadn’t brought their boyfriends along.

  3. Thumb up 8

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    I’m watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in bed with my pup. He’s looking forward to the dog show after. I gave up booze for a few weeks, but it’s looking like shower beer o’clock. Only it will be shower liquor because I’m a weirdo who thinks beer is gross.

    I am thankful for my Autostraddle family. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

  4. Thumb up 13

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    What used to be the “kids” table is now the “singles and babies table.” As in, my brother and I sit with my cousins’ babies (all under age 4) in the living room while the REAL adults (real=married) eat in the kitchen. At first I was offended, but then I realized how much more fun the children are. My 3 year old cousin has an imaginary friend he calls his “boyfriend” and we can talk all day about Thomas the Train and eat too much stuffing.

    Then I get to work a horrendous midnight-10:30 am shift at the mall because Americans waste no time forgetting what they just said they were thankful for, and absolutely have to shop in the middle of the night to get more stuff.

  5. Thumb up 15

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    this is actually a really emotional day for me. i’m on my own, up in vermont, where i moved after a graduated. well, first i drove across the country and back with my best friend from high school. but this is my first thanksgiving alone so i’m going to make my favorite foods and drink beer, ride my bike down by the lake and maybe have a cute time with a persyn i like later on. it feels really important today and i had to tell someone.

  6. Thumb up 1

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    I will be watching the Macy’s Parade and possibly the dog show (mainly to make fun of it but also to see the cute dogs). And I will try not to think about the fact that my brother’s girlfriend and her mother are coming over, and that if I was still dating the guy I was going out with before I moved I could have invited him over here too. (Or been invited over for Thanksgiving with him, which is possible but far less likely.)

  7. Thumb up 1

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    at my parents for the last (or *else*) thanksgiving holiday i will spend with them. last night when i got in i got to watch them do the at-home dialysis cycle for my dad.

    im gonna go get another cup of coffee and put whiskey in it.

  8. Thumb up 6

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    Thanksgiving is my all time favorite holiday. There are no presents, I like the gratitude aspect, the celebration of the harvest and the gravy! All the food really. But I am allowed to pour gravy on my entire plate and no one cares.

    Happiest Thanksgiving to all of you awesome Autostraddlers!

    Cheers!

    xoxo

  9. Thumb up 7

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    I’m going out to eat with my dad. I’m thankful for all the new friends I have met this year. For accepting me for who I am and being empathetic even if they don’t, or can’t, really understand what I’m going through.

    I’m also thankful for science which made it possible for me to grow breasts!

  10. Thumb up 0

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    Meh. Never been much of a fan of Thanksgiving. Too much work for such little outcome, which is busting your ass all day hoping your food turns out all right and then falling asleep in front of the couch watching football. This time of year is kind of hard for me actually. My mother passed away a little more than a week before Thanksgiving last year so I don’t really look forward to the “holiday season”. Plus I live 8 hours away from home with the military and am not really talking with my step father right now so until this time of year goes away I’ll be a grinch!
    Sorry for the downer! I’m thankful for my cat (haha) my college football team is 10-1 (go gators!!!) and I don’t have to work today!!! YAY!

  11. Thumb up 1

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    Hey guys quick question: If I make Ali’s mulled wine, will it still be good after it has cooled off? i.e. Can I make it this afternoon and then take it to a dinner party tonight as a gift? I maybe procrastinated on this whole thing a bit. . . .

  12. Thumb up 2

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    Spending the day working on my thesis and eating canned cranberries by myself. My family is spread out all of the country this year, so getting together was really hard. Now that I’m sitting down to calculate standard deviations, I kind of wish I were sitting down to dinner with my family.

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    I’m really thankful that I’m Canadian and therefore have no need to worry about Thanksgiving at this time of the year! My family (parents and stepparents, plus godparents) usually goes all out for Thanksgiving and it’s a huge drama-fest trying to figure out the logistics, and I always get sick from eating three enormous turkey meals, but this year my mom and stepdad didn’t have time to cook, and my godparents were out of town, so it was way less stressful than usual.

    Now my big worry is all the Christmas parties my girlfriend and I are invited to, since there is a ton of overlap and we need to prioritize without hurting anyone’s feelings. *bites nails* Shiiiiiit.

  14. Thumb up 7

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    I’ve already argued with my mother about the fact that The Biggest Loser with child contestants is terrible,traumatic idea. She thinks the fact that I’m Bi makes me unable to use common sense to decide what is healthy and not healthy. Oh and when I mentioned that I want a Harley? She started with the so you gonna be dyke on a bike. She has no idea DoB is real thing :) Baileys and coffee here I come!

  15. Thumb up 2

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    I’m peeling potatoes while my Dad tries to hook up the DVD player to the new 52″ TV he bought on Sunday at a pre-Black Friday sale, so that we can watch Miracle on 34th Street. We’ve already watched the Macy’s parade, the turkey will be done in 35 minutes, and I’m researching ways to get my jello salad out of the mold neatly in order to avoid the customary Thanksgiving Day jello disaster. Happy T-Day, you guys.

  16. Thumb up 7

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    Happy Thanksgiving Autostraddle Family! I am in my apartment with my dog drinking winter beers and watching Thanksgiving movies like The House of Yes, We’re Back a Dinosaur Story, and Home for the Holidays. A year without my family chaos has been really quiet and less judgmental and not stressful at all. I could get used this :)

  17. Thumb up 2

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    I am spending Thanksgiving all aloney on my owny because I am too broke to go anywhere. It’s kind of cool because I have the apartment I normally share with three guys to myself, so I’ll probably just stay in all day watching movies and waiting for my mom to text me pictures of our cats wrapped in cheesecloth.

  18. Thumb up 3

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    A cool thing about thanksgiving with friends vs family is you can drink whatever you want at your friends’ place when you still have to sneak cups of wine into the guest bedroom at your grandparents’.

  19. Thumb up 11

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    I’m spending this Thanksgiving with my family and accepting them, in hopes they will one day accept me. And I will try to love being with them because I want to, not because I feel it is an obligation!

    I am thankful for everything that happened and I will draw all the positives out of everything!

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! :D <3

  20. Thumb up 1

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    I’m having a wine,weed&west wing marathon right now. occasionally interrupted by me checking fb to see how many americans on my feed are either 1. telling me what they’re getting wasted on rn 2. how much they hate/love their family 3. posting pics of dead birds

  21. Thumb up 3

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    I thought this Thanksgiving was going to suck real bad since I’m far away from family and friends due to moving in with a girl who is now my ex. But it’s actually not that bad. I picked up a shift at work (I can telecommute), so I’m making bank and hardly doing anything since everyone else is on vacation. Cracker Barrel serves up Turkey dinners on Turkey day so no loss of enjoyment there. Finally, no family drama to deal with. Making the best of situations is always a good policy for life.

  22. Thumb up 2

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    All of my plans fell through until the last minute when one of my awesome shipmates invited me to her place with her husband for dinner. Probably going to spend the rest of the day drinking and chatting with my sister (who is on deployment) online then staggering back to my ship to give the rest of the crew who are stuck on duty some pumpkin pie.

  23. Thumb up 3

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    first thanksgiving alone.. out in the desert.. took an motorcycle ride this morning. Boiling up some crab drinking some full sail Pilsner.. a shot of tequila and sons of anarchy marathon. No dead birds this year :) haha

  24. Thumb up 0

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    We’re (meaning me and my parents) are going to go over to a friend’s house and eat her food. I have been relegated to one glass of alcohol since I tend to get more…inappropriate after a few drinks. Apparently the friend’s son’s girlfriend is really easy to embarrass. Honestly I probably could embarrass the shit out of her sober too, but oh well.

    We long since learned that trying to do extended family stuff on Thanksgiving just gets annoying and none of us actually enjoys it. A couple years we just made some steak instead of messing with turkey.

  25. Thumb up 0

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    I’d love to be able to spend Thanksgiving in Atl with my awesome poet friends. I imagine us all trying to cook shit at the same time, saying “forget hers, MINE IS THE BEST YOU’RE GOING TO LOVE THIS SHIT” and eating everyone else’s crap behind their backs and cussing each other out because we keep getting in each other’s way. Unfortunately, they all have families, who love them or something, so I’m eating with my family. :/ Thankfully not the extended family this year, because we didn’t have time for that commute (and am I glad; my mom’s husband’s family are YELLERS, and each one more rightwing hardcore Catholic than the last). But at least I get to eat colchannon (deep-fried cabbage over mashed potatoes with bacon and melted butter; it’s an Irish thing, don’t hate).

  26. Thumb up 12

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    Hanging with the fam listening to how everything is ‘faggy’ and how they won’t shop at certain stores because they heard ‘gays’ shop there. Today I am thankful that I am the boss of me. No one else is the boss of me. :)

  27. Thumb up 1

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    But really, I’m very thankful for all of the people here, even the ones I hadn’t met before yesterday. They’re all wonderful and I’m very glad that I’m here and that my friends thought enough of me to invite me here in the first place.

  28. Thumb up 3

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    I actually celebrated Thanksgiving this year (I’m Swedish, so obviously I don’t do that normally) because an American friend invited a bunch of people over and made lots of amazing food. So I’ve spent Thanksgiving with a crowd of people from the U.S., France, Germany, Britain, Spain and the Ivory Coast eating huge amounts of food and drinking nice French wine and cider. I’m thankful for the nice people we meet and the experiences we acquire when we go expat (even though it means I haven’t seen my girlfriend for two months).

  29. Thumb up 4

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    Totally starting crying in the kitchen talking to my mom about my cousin’s wedding and how I ran into my ex-girlfriend recently and how last Thanksgiving I thought I would be able to make things work with her and we would get married and then everything fell apart and it was super awkward because my mom and I never have conversations like that. And then I made myself a bloody mary.

  30. Thumb up 2

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    I just got done eating a fantastic dinner that my mama cooked after spending the day reading “Stone Butch Blues” (and trying not to sob like a maniac), making friendship bracelet for my little sister and watching the Macy’s Parade and Dog show with my twin. Now I am sipping on a glass of white wine and reading autostraddle while we watch “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving”.

  31. Thumb up 1

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    Had a pleasant and sober lunch with the fam after helping my mom with the standard casseroles and side dish business. Currently lounging with my cat and deciding whether I want to brave the shopping crowds and go as moral support for my bff and her mother. Happy Thanksgiving, dears! I’m thankful for the lovely queers who contribute to and frequent this site, may your cups runneth over and your hearts be filled with love.

  32. Thumb up 0

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    All this talk about Thanksgiving (okay, mostly the talk about food, especially brie) is making me wish that here in Canada we celebrated both Canadian Thanksgiving in October AAAAND American Thanksgiving NOW. I just want an excuse to eat lots of brie and cranberry sauce again.

  33. Thumb up 0

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    I recently broke my leg, so today was special in that it was the first real time I’ve been out of the house (excepting doctors appointments). I ate at my grandpa’s with my huge Christian family and mostly tripped on Percocet while figuring out a playlist for my aunt’ 50th b-day party in December, which I will be “DJ-ing.” And I had to do that horrible thing children of divorce parents do and choose to spend the time with one side of the family and not the other, which is a bummer, and no one drinks and everyone thinks I’m straight but I kicked ass at Trivial Pursuit and took home a whole pumpkin pie so who cares?

  34. Thumb up 7

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    Second Thanksgiving since my dad died. My mom got drunk (off of about 2 glasses of wine) and cried. I had to make her stop drinking. Then to my girlfriend’s parents’ house. This was the first family holiday that I felt brave enough to act like she was my girlfriend in front of every one. My family was really great about it. So I’m thankful for that.

  35. Thumb up 1

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    We made it until after lunch until my grandpa asked if I have a boyfriend.

    But I also got free beer and my grandparents think I’m one of the top scientists in my field so win some, lose some.

    (To clarify, I’m just a lowly undergrad who didn’t even do exceptionally well on my subject test GRE)

  36. Thumb up 2

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    I’m an expat in the Southern Hemisphere so Thanksgiving was yesterday. I don’t usually do anything on the day but for some reason I decided I had to have a pumpkin pie. Went and bought the ingredients and pie pan, realized half-way through that it’s not realistic for one person to eat two 9-in pies, so I called some people to come help me (and to bring vanilla ice cream). We ate pie, drank ginger wine, it was pretty great.

    So I’m grateful for friends who are willing to indulge my impulsive baking, which thankfully turned out fine (largely thanks to this site : http://www.pickyourown.org/pumpkinpie.php). I may not be where I thought I was going to be right now, but I have good friends and pie. It’s a start.

    Also, y’all should be grateful for canned pumpkin. processing 5lb of pumpkin into puree was not my favorite part of pie making.

  37. Thumb up 8

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    Friendsgiving happened last weekend with my girlfriend, around 30 other homos and lots of vegetarian options.
    I am currently with Amy on a plane to Seattle, where we will meet Kay and Elli and have many fun homojinks the whole weekend, highlighted by two Brandi Carlile concerts (with the Seattle Symphony Orchestra!)
    Happy Holigays, you queers.

  38. Thumb up 2

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    Just had my first Thanksgiving without family, but compensated by cooking my roommates an awesome dinner, complete with stuffing, mashed potatoes from scratch, mixed vegetables, and a glorious roast chicken. Oh, and beer. My dad gave me props. I’m a happy lady :)

  39. Thumb up 1

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    Thanksgiving was actually quite nice. Most of the family couldn’t come, but my ex was able to come. This wasn’t awkward at all though since I’m still really good friends with them. Also, I made the beef stew in a pumpkin recipe that was on here awhile ago. It turned out really really great. What I’m basically saying is, ALL THE YUMS!

  40. Thumb up 3

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    I spent the day working then got to spend the evening with my girlfriend’s parents. This is my third Thanksgiving with them and I’ve pretty much been adopted as a third daughter. Even though I’m super sick and groggy and had to work all day I still have a warm and fuzzy feeling from my Thanksgiving dinner. Now it’s kitten snuggles and Zzzzzzz.

  41. Thumb up 11

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    i officially came out to my parents this spring and today my dad made a joke to me about “my type of woman”, without it being homophobic or awkward or any kind of deal! just like it always was that way and always will be, you know, no biggie. dad, i’m thankful for you on this thanksgiving!

  42. Thumb up 2

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    I know autostraddle is an American site, run by American people and there’s a focus on American rights, what’s happening in America, American discourse on homosexuality and that the status of American LGBTers is important for Americans but jesus!! the number of thanksgiving-themed posts makes me feel really outside the autostraddle bubble. I feel like I’m an outsider looking in, which is a weird feeling on a queer lady website.

  43. Thumb up 2

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    I woke up with a cold, but that was still ok because my gf and I made Carmen’s tofurkey roast recipe and it turned out amazing, and everyone finished it off at our little straddler thanksgiving, and also I got some nommy stew leftovers that another couple made and brought, and it is exactly everything my poor congested little body wants to eat.

  44. Thumb up 1

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    I feel so bad for my parents having to deal with me when I was a toddler. I was informed today that my nephew apparently takes after me in that he has never-ending amounts of energy and it’s way too much to deal with.

  45. Thumb up 0

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    Ok so maybe I have poor reading comprehension/ drank too much seasonal beer, and yesterday I just sort of went for it because that is what you do on holiday open threads, but this post is from “the team” but the article itself sounds like one person. Which one of you is it?

  46. Thumb up 4

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    My mom and I spent all afternoon/evening surrounded by the most talented folk musicians you’ve ever met. Included in this group: a fabric designer/illustrator and her partner, a computer scientist who is also a quilter, a famous video game designer, a cellist, two amazing dogs, and the homeowner who GAVE ME HIS DULCIMER! Look up what a dulcimer is, Joni Mitchell plays dulcimer! We played music until hours after Target had opened and went home sleepy and full of wine and Yule log cake. I am thankful for the most genuine Thanksgiving I have ever had. Everybody should go find themselves some folk musicians quick so they have somewhere genuine to spend Christmas!

  47. Thumb up 12

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    My gf is the only girl out of 4 siblings. Her parents NeVER listen to her when she talks, I have witnessed this first hand.

    So yesterday at the table, chock-full of family all talking about more important things… after she had tried to chime in about 2-3 times, I told her she was the most beautiful background noise I’d ever heard…

    And I dared her to say ‘PENIS’ and see who reacted.

    She totally did. And no one but the weird/goth/equal misfit person at the table heard her and he cracked up. He was 4 seats away on the opposite side of the table.
    Once he started laughing, everyone looked at him and said “What’s so funny?” … I was laughing too, and that is the best Thanksgiving memory I have had of yet! I told her we must be speaking on a Misfit Wavelength that only social outcasts can hear.

  48. Thumb up 1

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    This Thanksgiving was filled with better times than last year and worse food. This is the second and last year it’ll be just me and my dad, be we make the best of the day that two people can! We pooled together some delicious sounding recipes which we were sure to tweak, made a mile-long shopping list and bought the groceries just one day in advance. Waking up to beautiful weather the day of, we went out for a hike with my older sister to get some excercise in before indulging in our all-round homemade veggie feast. Back at home after a few hours, I just took of my hat, set my camera down, washed my hands and got going; spiced wine cranberry sauce, stuffing with walnuts and thyme, two fake turkeys (quorn and tofurkey), fresh green beans, corn and tomato soup and my dad’s chocolate bourbon pecan pies and golden rice biriyani. Not having touched any food, we set out for another hike, returning at sunset to set the table with the dishes and beeswax candles and EAT! We read together the rest of the night over warm cider and THAT is how you enjoy a Thanksgiving day(:

  49. Thumb up 1

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    I have so much to be thankful for everyday, but this Thanksgiving added something extra special to the mix! After spending the last few years having coffee with my beautiful lady in the morning and then splitting up to spend the day at our respective families houses (which meant me driving all over the place and not returning until she was asleep), she came out to her parents and invited me to share the holiday with them. It was awesome! Her parents are probably the last to know, and her mom’s reaction was absolutely perfect and actually made me cry. We got to spend 6 hours cooking vegan dishes together and took them with us, where everyone else avoided them and told us we were crazy….and that’s okay with me! It was so perfect not to spend the day apart, and my family was more than happy to Excuse me from our usual routine.

    And since no good deed goes unpunished….we came home a little buzzed from the wine and high on happiness and started roughhousing with our dogs…..this resulted in me taking a direct hit to the nose, bleeding all over one of our favorite blankets, and spending the rest of the day icing my possibly broken face.

    I still wouldn’t change a thing ;)

    Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

  50. Thumb up 0

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    I flew out to Seattle and adventured with my sister, and did nerdy things with my brother in law, and sat in the hot tub in their new house, and got my leg humped by their psychotic pug.

    And then we had a bajillion course vegan dinner with two gluten free pies (cherry and sweet potato with brazil nut crunch topping).

  51. Thumb up 1

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    Thanksgiving for me was Friendsgiving for the second year in a row, with nearly as many pies as people, gay and trans* and straight folks all together without any conflict, mulled spiked cider, and boardgames. It rocked.

    (This year I’m thankful to have a job, an awesome girlfriend, and a sister who has accepted me wholeheartedly as her brother.)

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