Wondering Who’s Up: More Internet Haikus

wondering who’s up
will always be relevant
as long as night falls

they’d never unfriend
and yet i accept request
i’m booboo the fool

like coins to weigh down my eyes
send me out to sea

hitting reply all
a digital power move
try and stop the thread

instagram stories
what’s the process i wonder
switching mediums

good trump epitaph:
nevertheless he tweeted
batteries taste fine

the beginnings of tinder
tucked in a chat room

past wifi logins
can elicit memories
as strongly as scents

thirty years from now
will i still wake on sunday
to check out the ‘gram

no one says ‘”the ‘gram”
that’s something i’m aware of
trying it is free

what if when you die
the AOL door slam sounds
this is a deep cut

a case to log off:
real maps have never told me
to take four left turns

we’re like ten years in
and still posting coffee pics
how greats are humans

think we can agree
if netscape were a person
his name would be phil

someone’s twitter feed
should be evaluated
for jury duty

keep yourself humble
before posting a picture
self face that camera

remember poking?
let’s give it a renaissance
the digital wink

i’ve never cared less
or been more disappointed
than when someone’s live

*baby boomer voice*
i get my news from facebook
nice going linda

baby’s first snapchat
was a lesbian seder
thanks for tuning in

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. *baby boomer voice*
    i get my news from facebook
    nice going linda

    Oh my GOD
    This series really is perfection tbh

  2. 13 hours straight
    On some new bloody game, when
    I just wanted porn.

    …TV Tropes is a weird, misleading mistress.

  3. i said “the ‘gram” out loud the other day for some reason and immediately i had to go reevaluate who i even am. no word yet.

  4. I got Facebook ‘poked’ by a friend of a friend just a couple weeks ago and was utterly mystified because I wouldn’t know where to find that button anymore even if I wanted to.

  5. I liked the ASL one :)
    I used to play (catfish because who gives away their real asl for computer games…) a game and when you clicked certain buttons (can’t remember which) it used to produce funny answers to ASL. So like ‘As old as universe/Yes please/Uranus’.
    Was a good game actually was like a thing where you drew pictures using MS paint & everyone had to guess what it was.

  6. “Age sex location” omg I forgot about that

    Like we weren’t really all thirteen and located in our middle school computer labs

  7. “think we can agree
    if netscape were a person
    his name would be phil”

    This one killed me. I am dead and now a ghost.

  8. “i’ve never cared less
    or been more disappointed
    than when someone’s live”


  9. Omg, Linda is the quintessential boomer name. I would non-sarcastically like to say NICE GOING ERIN.

Comments are closed.