Finally, Autostraddle’s Bravo Dyke is bringing you this long-awaited quiz! It’s time to figure out which queer Bravolebrity you closest resemble! Spoiler alert: None of the results on this quiz are particularly flattering, because all Bravolebrities are complicated, messy people! Also, as a heads up: None of the results for this quiz areĀ Top ChefĀ folks, because we’ve already done aĀ Top Chef-themed quiz before (if you haven’t takenĀ Which Top Chef Would Chef Top You?, now’s your time!). We’re sticking to the Bravolebrities this Bravo Dyke knows best, so it’s all folks in the Real HousewivesĀ extended universe (most answers are Real Housewives or their partners, but we’ve got some Southern and Below Deck wildcards). Also, this quiz kind of goes off the rails at the end? But that felt fitting for a Bravo-themed quiz.
Before you go!
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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, fiction, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the former managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, The Rumpus, Cake Zine, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. When she is not writing, editing, or reading, she is probably playing tennis. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.
Kayla has written 1051 articles for us.
Julia Lemigova. I had to google her.
I avoid reality tv so I had no idea what was being referred to.
Meh.
I suspected this would be my reaction going into this quiz but I couldn’t help myself.
I remember when Bravo was the cable performing arts channel. I miss that a lot.
Ariana Madix, btw. Never heard of her. Sorry, Ariana, I’m sure you’re very nice.
Well, I have heard of Jenna Lyons and I did watch her on RHONY (and would still if it hadn’t been canceled) and I am very pleased and proud so obviously these quizzes are extremely scientific.
apparently the cancellation thing was only a rumor and they just hadn’t/still haven’t sorted out contracts for who is returning yet!
I am …. Mel Corpus
Whomst I also had to google : a forensic neuropsychologist, which is such a nerdy chick-magnet job, I mean really. Oh and I also see that there’s a bit of a scandal attached to her. Brains ! Butch swagger ! Scandal !
I am fulfilled.
Captain Sandy “Looks like someone likes telling other people what to do š”
“Bravo TV hired (her) to be the captain of Yacht Sirrocco in the second season of the āBelow Deck Mediterraneanā show.”
I’m not a bossy person, but it’s nice to think I could be a leader.
It does feel good when others trust my sense of direction or ability to read a room or situation.
Sadly, my accuracy varies depending on how much information I am trusted with.
i’m just that hot