Two Lesbians Rank Their Top Ten Slasher Movies of All Time

Welcome to Two Lesbians Rank, part of Horror Is So Gay: Part V. Drew Burnett Gregory and Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya are ranking slashers throughout the month of October.

The idea was to rank every slasher movie ever made. But like a security guard transporting Michael Myers or an Elm Street parent trying to cover up the past, this task turned out to be impossible. (At least within our timeline.) Instead, Kayla and I have spent the past month ranking every major slasher franchise. It worked out better to compare Jasons to Jasons and Chuckys to Chuckys, analyzing how each of these series evolved.

But how do these films rank against each other? And what about all the slashers that didn’t get sequels or were part of mere trilogies? That’s why we’re now sharing our personal choices for the top ten slashers of all time. Our lists feature some of the films we’ve already ranked and written about and some new surprises.

Slasher as a genre can be a bit vague and we didn’t set strict rules for each other. Kayla has an early slasher template from the 30s, I have a zombie movie, and yet we both decided not to count Psycho (1960). Feel free to argue with these decisions and share your own favorites in the comments.

We have one more franchise list coming on Halloween. (Bet you can guess which one!) But for now enjoy reading about the best of the best from the all-time classics to the most underrated deep cuts.

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya’s Top Ten Slashers of All Time

Honorable Mentions: Hellbent (2004), Midnight Kiss (2019), A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

10. Thirteen Women (1932)

I’m stretching the definition of “slasher” a bit with this one, as it obviously predates the real birth of the canon, but it is often cited as an Old Hollywood version of a slasher, and the premise is extremely gay: A woman mind-controls a clairvoyant into sending morbid horoscopes to the group of women who once barred her from joining their sorority and then orchestrates her revenge by manipulating them into killing themselves or each other. It’s a delicious revenge tale and an early entry into the Good For Her canon, too. If you can get past the casting of white actress Myrna Loy as a half-Indian (the script is actually a bit muddled on her exact racial background, but she’s mixed-race/half-white) character, it’s surprisingly complex in its portrayals of racism, the concept of “passing,” and the patriarchal structures of sororities. I expected to have fun with this one; I did not expect how much it would resonate on a personal level. It manages to be both dated and in many ways ahead of its time.

9. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

I’ve already written about my love for this movie, which really is such a stunning display of horror filmmaking. I wish more contemporary horror would employ the style of evocative and immersive minimalism this movie does so well. Also I dare more contemporary horror to employ this kind of compression! An 83-minute runtime! Will we ever watch a great horror movie that tight again?!

8. Friday the 13th (1980)

This is one of the first non-Scream slashers I ever watched, and much like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I love it for a lot of technical craft reasons. It has some of my favorite lighting and coloring of any horror movie, that final act especially effective in its shadows and low lighting. Too many horror movies today are dark in a bad way; this one does darkness well.

7. Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)

This was the greatest surprise of this project. I ended up going long on this particular Nightmare sequel because I could not stop thinking about it after my first viewing. As Stef writes in their piece on Scream 4, “there are some pieces of art that become portals to a future we hope never comes to fruition.” For me, Freddy’s Dead feels like that: a premonition and warning of a future conservatives want, one where youth are stripped of agency and access to history and knowledge. Also, Maggie is a criminally underrated final girl.

6. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)

I’ve always been a defender of Scream 3 (fortunately, Drew and I share this), but New Nightmare is the blueprint for the type of meta Hollywood commentary it revels in. Heather Langenkamp is sublime, but let’s also hear it for young Miko Hughes, who gives not one but two of the greatest child actor performances in horror history in both this and in Pet Sematary five years prior.

5. Bride of Chucky (1998)

Horror has never been hotter than in this gem that completely pivoted the Chucky franchise into something even campier, queerer, and funnier. It still delivers great kills and horror moments, too, and its strange mix of tones are held together impeccably by the film’s glue (Jennifer Tilly).

4. Knife + Heart (2018)

As reflected by literally all of my honorable mentions, I love a slasher that centers queer men (this one also has a lesbian, and a fucked-up one at that). This one, set in France’s gay porn industry in the 70s, slices between the violent and the erotic. If you were underwhelmed by MaXXXine like I was, I recommend this instead.

3. You’re Next (2011)

Easily my favorite 21st century slasher, You’re Next manages to be a great family drama-comedy, a great horror movie, and a great portrait of the ways wealthy families only care about each other insofar as doing so ensures their preservation of money and power. But I also like that the movie doesn’t get too far into the weeds of all that and instead just lets the story unfold without too much exposition. I also like that the killers physically react like real humans throughout, a departure from the more common depiction of slashers as either literally invincible or impervious in ways that require suspension of disbelief.

2. Scream (1996)

No ensemble of teens in a slasher have ever felt as real as the original Scream cast. From the indelible opening to the gradual ramping up of the stakes to the killer reveal, it’s just perfect throughout. (After writing this, I’m realizing Drew and I wrote almost the same thing about the movie, but that tracks.)

1. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Scream long held the position of my favorite slasher of all time, but the tides turned this year during this project, which really just solidified how much I love (and am terrified of) the Nightmare movies, starting with this original, which still has my favorite slasher kill of all time (Tina’s death) and my personal favorite final girl (Nancy). The thematic threads of suburban horror in Nightmare stand the test of time, and Freddy Krueger’s strange mix of camp and terror does, too.

Drew Burnett Gregory’s Top Ten Slashers of All Time

Honorable Mentions: The Slumber Party Massacre (1982), A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

10. Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)

The first Prom Night is a mediocre Halloween riff. The second film is a masterpiece. Imagine if Carrie was slutty instead of repressed and traded telekinesis for coming back as a horny ghost. It’s so funny and wild and full of great kills. In a genre that punishes teenage sexuality, Mary Lou is here to fight back.

9. Seed of Chucky (2004)

This was the best part of our slasher project for me! I should have watched it years ago! A pattern in a lot of my favorite slashers is a balance between depth and silliness. I don’t need brutality; I need point of view. That’s what the Chucky films do best and this is my favorite. It has two Jennifer Tillys and a literal trans doll. How could I not love it?

8. Cemetery of Terror (1985)

Half a slasher movie, half a zombie movie, entirely delightful. It has a group of horny medical students, a Satanist serial killer brought back from the dead, a beleaguered psychiatrist, and a gaggle of trick-or-treaters getting chased out of a cemetery. Sorry, but this is my favorite horror movie set on Halloween. It’s just so fun!

7. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

We love Elm Street! It’s the best slasher franchise with many of the best slasher movies. Every time I revisit the original I feel like I’m watching it anew. It’s so scary and well-crafted and emotionally and thematically dense. Dreams and reality, past and present, it all blends together in one great movie.

6. Office Killer (1997)

When I first got into Cindy Sherman’s photographs, I learned that she directed one feature film and that it was bad. Wrong!! Carol Kane as Dorine Douglas is an all-time slasher villain, and the tonal balance here is wonderful. It starts out silly and reveals itself to be truly horrific. Sherman’s understanding of cinematic genre and her visual eye make for a great film worthy of reappraisal.

5. Black Christmas (1974)

I love a campy slasher, but this is my favorite for pure horror. It’s tight and terrifying and captures the dangers of living as a woman. It’s a movie about abortion, about misogyny, about women being hunted. In a genre that often finds its scares by villainizing those who are different, this is a film that finds fear in the mundane. Maybe the villain is just a man. Your boyfriend, maybe. Or just any man in your house.

4. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)

While I obviously like the other Elm Street sequels more than Craven himself, his return to the franchise is my favorite of them all. It has so much of what I love about the other films with the added layer of acknowledging the power of this new myth. Cinema, especially popular cinema, is our collective dream and its power should not be underestimated.

3. Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1981)

As a trans horror fan, I think a lot about who we’re made to fear. Even in a franchise I love like A Nightmare on Elm Street, burn scars are used to make Freddy scary as if this facial difference is linked to his violence. No film pushes back on our assumptions around horror villains better than this one. As an audience, we know from the beginning that the main character’s aunt is doing the killing. But the cops are so distracted with their prejudices against a gay gym teacher they can’t see the obvious. They assume goodness in this straight suburban white woman despite her transparent behavior. And this isn’t just a political or intellectual exercise. It’s also a great movie. I wish more horror understood that it’s scarier to reflect real danger back to us. Those who commit harm and those who let them.

2. Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Every horror movie wants to be about trauma these days and yet none of them live up to this bonkers sequel! I really believe silliness does not mean a lack of depth and there’s something so enjoyable about a movie that’s this sharp about PTSD while having that PTSD manifest in a greaser who plays a drill-attached guitar. It captures the experience of trauma without making the audience live within that trauma. I think there’s room for brutal horror movies, but most attempts are miserable without capturing the emotion. This one captures the emotion and has a fun time doing it.

1. Scream (1996)

It’s fun, it’s scary, it’s perfect. This is the ultimate slasher film in all its knowing brilliance. From the opening kill to the final jump scare, this is Wes Craven at his peak. It’s smart about horror movies and it’s smart about teenagers. Horror is scarier when you care about the characters and Craven, Kevin Williamson, and the excellent cast created a group of people we don’t want to see die — until we do. It’s not just one of the best slashers of all time, it’s one of the best movies of all time. No matter how many Stab-like sequels they make, the original will always exist as a horror pinnacle worth returning to again and again.