Two Lesbians Rank Every ‘Scream’ Movie

Welcome to Two Lesbians Rank, part of Horror Is So Gay: Part V. Drew Burnett Gregory and Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya are ranking slashers throughout the month of October. This week, Drew introduces our Scream list.

In the trailer for Wes Craven’s horror debut The Last House on the Left, its grindhouse narrator growls, “To avoid fainting keep repeating to yourself it’s only a movie… only a movie… only a movie…” But two plus decades later, Craven’s work started to question where the movies—and television and news media and all forms of cultural storytelling—end and reality begins. If movies are a part of movies, do the horrors of the movies become part of our lives?

Enter: Scream. What once felt like a comical take on slashers has become for many the pinnacle of the subgenre. That’s because Craven and screenwriter Kevin Williamson understood the fear, as well as the humor, possible in creating victims who know what’s coming for them.

The Scream movies are the horror equivalent of a therapist telling you there’s a difference between self-awareness and self-growth. Okay so you’re familiar with the horror rules. Now what? Knowing you’re in danger isn’t the same as escaping it.

As the iconic opening of the first film reminds us, past slashers already had third act twists. But by 1996, Jason, Michael, and Freddy were the most prominent onscreen killers. Scream did away with the metaphors of these indestructible figures and brought the whodunnit back to slashers. Freddy may have represented different types of abuse and trauma throughout the Elm Street franchise—Ghostface actually was different. Each film, new characters don the mask, often more than one, and the franchise created its own unsettling rule: It’s always someone you know.

There are three Scream eras: the Craven years, the requels, and where we are now. One film in, that last period promises to be a bleak reflection of our society and our cinema. Maybe this was the inevitable end. Hollywood will always choose immorality and money. That has become Scream’s final meta commentary.

7. Scream 7 (2026)

You might think I hated the latest Scream movie, because Spyglass Entertainment fired star Melissa Barrera for being pro-Palestine. You would be wrong. That’s why I didn’t see it until I was working on this project, refused to pay for it, and judge everyone involved. The reason I hated the movie is because it’s one of the most horrendous horror sequels I’ve ever seen. Its attempts at nostalgia are embarrassing and its attempts at plot and character even more so. Okay so he can’t direct and he has no ethics, but shouldn’t we at least be able to rely on Kevin Williamson to write a good script? Apparently not. – D

6. Scream (2022)

What happened with these reboots is ironic, because the best thing about them was the new cast. Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega are great here and their dynamic—along with the supporting cast—is what makes this sequel worthwhile. It’s tough to lose Wes Craven! There has never been anybody like him and the new writer/directors don’t bring enough of their own vision. The end result is a solid, if lacking, pastiche of the previous four movies. Watchable, but lacking in cleverness and craft.  – D

5. Scream VI (2023)

As far as I’m concerned, this is where the franchise actually ends, because as Drew details above, Scream 7 is the product of both cowardice and extremely poor filmmaking. Scream VI could have been a fine place for this saga to conclude. My primary complaint about it is that not enough people die. The twists are solid, but the stakes are somewhat hampered. – KKU

4. Scream 4 (2011)

Hayden Panettiere’s Kirby is one of the best non-Sydney final girls of the franchise, and this sequel also has one of my favorite Ghostfaces. The kills are memorable without trying too hard to stand out, and I’ve pretty much never been able to walk in a parking garage at night without thinking about Alison Brie. This was also the last movie where Gale and Dewey felt like real people, and some of their marital drama here is quite grounded. – KKU

3. Scream 3 (2000)

While it may not reach the heights of Craven’s other overtly meta Hollywood satire New Nightmare, the third Scream is an underrated blast. With increased comedy but just as much intelligence, this threequel is endless fun. Parker Posey! Courteney Cox’s baby bangs! Ghostface chasing Sydney into a set of her old house! That all this pleasure is in service of a plot about an abusive Hollywood executive is the film’s bitter brilliance. – D

2. Scream 2 (1997)

This is easily one of the best direct sequels following an original in any horror franchise. It does everything a sequel should do (but few end up doing successfully), expanding on the character dynamics, twisting in different ways so as to still surprise, but also honoring what works well about the first and replicating that instead of just reinventing entirely. – KKU

1. Scream (1996)

We started this list with the worst of movies. We end it with the best. Sometimes everything just works out. Sometimes the real-life abusive execs’ attempts at meddling fail. Sometimes the cast that comes together is exactly who it should be. Sometimes the preparation is there and the improv is there and everything is perfect. Sometimes a young gay screenwriter and a seasoned horror master team up and bring out the best in one another. I’ve been watching Scream since I was a kid and it gets better every time. It’s one of the best slashers, one of the best horror movies, one of the best movies period. “Do you like scary movies?” Yes, and especially this one. – D