The Choice has been made. The first Trial Marriages have begun. It’s time to delve into The Ultimatum: Queer Love season two episodes 4 and 5! Catch up on episodes 1-3 in my previous recap. And hop on into episodes 6 and 7 when you’re done here.

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The Ultimatum: Queer Love Recap – Episode 4

We’re going to hop around to different parts of the episode but organized by each couple! That seems like the best way to wrangle this gay chaos into something structured.

First Week of Trial Marriages

AJ + Marie

While out, Marie orders for AJ at a restaurant, which AJ finds very hot. They’re talking about future baby names, and Marie thinks AJ Jr. sounds pretty dang cute. AJ is very happy with her choice and brings up the fact that Marie brings her “chai tea” in the morning. I’m sure Britney could bring you chai in the morning, too! Sorry, just really rooting for AJ and Britney to make it work!

It’s not all rainbows and sunshine for these faux newlyweds though. Later in the episode, AJ gets a call from Britney and leaves the apartment, presumably to meet up with her, but we don’t get any footage. She comes home at 1 a.m., and and AJ is telling the dog to be quiet so as not to wake up Marie, but there’s Marie, popping on the light like a spooky gay ghost in the corner. She does not seem thrilled that AJ is getting home so late.

The next day, Marie is talking about the Valkyries, Orlando’s pro volleyball team. AJ thinks Orlando should have a WNBA team, and SAME. But then it’s time to talk about allegedly more pressing matters, like where AJ absconded to in the night. AJ shares she has seen Britney twice since their Trial Marriage began. It’s not technically against the rules per se, but it’s not exactly how things work either, so Marie feels betrayed and like a fool. While Marie was previously charmed by AJ, she thinks they’re no longer aligned on anything.

At one point, Marie sadly asks her cat if she’ll marry her. Yikes!

Bridget + Ashley 

These two are mostly just being sweet together, jokingly calling each other wifey. Bridget makes Ashley coffee. It’s true: 90% of marriage is making coffee for someone.

We don’t get a ton of screen-time from these two, but a very intense scene comes later in the episode when Ashley opens up about her first relationship in college. She couldn’t have friends, because her ex would accuse her of cheating. Her ex was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive, and a roommate of Ashley’s called the cops on her ex when things got violent one night. Ashley ended up lying for her ex in court and kept dating her for a while after. It sounds like a very bad situation! I’m glad she’s opening up about it, because it’s important to talk about domestic violence in queer relationships. Too often, we’re left out of those conversations, which only makes it easier for abusers to get away with their behaviors. Bridget is a very good and supportive listener in all this. She doesn’t judge Ashley for staying with her ex as long as she did.

I’m like oh it makes so much sense why you have baggage about not only marriage but also the grand romantic gestures Marita is so desperate for. I can’t know for sure about Ashley’s particular situation, but abusive relationships also often come with a lot of grand romantic gestures in attempts to manipulate or otherwise smooth over the abuse. If Ashley’s struggling to give Marita the grand romantic antics she wants, maybe this is why! I wonder how much she has talked to Marita about this. Throughout the season, we see some of the cast opening up about personal issues in ways they haven’t quite reached with their actual partners. I think that makes sense! It’s way lower stakes to open up to someone you’ve just met. (The cameras might make it high stakes, but you’d be surprised. I watch enough reality television to know that actually people have an easier time getting vulnerable in front of cameras than in their regular lives. There’s almost a layer of UNreality to it for them.)

Marita + Britney

While I am not rooting for these two to fall in love because that seems entirely out of the question, I AM rooting for these two to have a beautiful and long-lasting femme4femme friendship. They got each other flowers! Marita doesn’t know Britney met up with AJ, but I don’t think she’d care as much as Marie does. Britney resolves to show Marita “some daddy energy” tonight by cooking for her. This is sweet! They could end up having the happiest Trial Marriage precisely because they’re treating it not like a trial run for romance but as a chance to get to know someone and open up about their relationships with a free nice apartment with a view.

Pilar + Kyle

Pilar and Kyle kick off their Trial Marriage by starting a Polaroid photo wall. If only things could stay this sweet and wholesome forever, but there’s drama coming for these two’s artificial martial bliss. Kyle already seems on edge right away, and the two of them get very lost in the sauce of a cake metaphor for marriage where Pilar is like do you really want to eat the same cake for the rest of your life, and Kyle is like yeah, I really like the cake! I’m not wondering about other cakes!

Later, on a day date, Kyle apologizes for being so in her head. There’s a lot happening for her. It seems to me like she might be regretting this whole Going On Reality Television thing. She observes it doesn’t seem like Pilar is dealing with the same inner turmoil she is, and Pilar assures her she is. She says if she can suddenly see herself with another person, that’s going to be really telling for her in how she feels about her actual relationship. She seems to be invested in the viability of the experiment as something that can actually show you something about your self/relationship.

Haley + Magan

Okay, we’re going to get into the meat of the episode now, starting with the fact that Magan and Haley are so clearly and quickly falling for each other. They’re playing pool and being very flirty. Later in the episode, Magan literally GIGGLES at Haley yawning. Oh girl, you’re FALLING falling.

They have a heart-to-heart about Magan’s familial baggage, an issue Haley is no doubt familiar with given Pilar’s situation. Magan says because she wasn’t taking herself seriously, her family wasn’t either. “I was unsure, so they were unsure,” she says. “Now I don’t feel unsure. I feel confident.” She gave her family so many passes before, but now she’s feeling more secure in herself and her sexuality. She’ll keep trying with them, so long as she’s getting respect and her partner is getting respect. Haley gives her a heartfelt and genuine pep talk, and Magan tells her she means a lot to her.

Later, Haley and Magan run into Mel and Dayna at the apartment complex pool, and Dayna apparently didn’t say hello to Magan or even acknowledge her. Magan’s hurt. We’ll come back to this little pool incident!

Magan and Haley feel so safe and protected together. It seems like both really needed someone to open up to and be vulnerable with, and I get the impression they haven’t been able to be vulnerable in their relationships. (Their original relationships are so different though: Haley has been with Pilar for a decade, and Magan and Dayna have been together less than two years.)

And it doesn’t seem like solely an emotional connection here…there’s real romantic chemistry! They play sexy games with a blindfold! Magan likes physical intimacy, like a hand on a leg, and kisses places other than lips. Haley says sex can really tell you how a relationship is going. God, this show really is only interesting when people have sex during their Trial Marriages, so I’m hoping that’s where this is leading!!!!! If not for them, I think it’s safe to say it’ll happen for………

Mel + Dayna

Mel and Dayna are pretty hot and heavy right away in their Trial Marriage, too. Mel wants Dayna to be in the room while she pees! Mel goes full chef mode for their first dinner together, making a beautiful fish. Dayna says she doesn’t her dirty fingers touching her food, and Mel seizes the opportunity to ask “where would you like me to put my dirty fingers?” I love that this show reveals the true nature of lesbians, which is that we love a dirty joke, possibly even more than straight men do. We’re filthy!

They enjoy their beautiful dinner on the balcony with their beautiful view of the sunset. This used to be my life like every night for the two years I lived in Miami. The show is making me miss it.

They ruminate on the choices they made in each other. Mel thought they were going to fight, which is interesting for her to confess since she did indeed CHOOSE Dayna. She thought they were going to fight AND she chose her? I have a lot of questions about what Mel thinks a relationship is supposed to look/feel like, because she does seem to really value conflict. Dayna thought she was going to have trust issues with Mel, which is a wild thing to say about someone you’ve just met, but alas. She WILL drive her food truck into a river, as we know.

Dayna is shocked and delighted that Mel cooked the fish with truffle oil, which she has never had before. “You spent $25 on an oil you don’t even like for ME?” she asks. That is, indeed, romance.

Dayna and Mel have a day date by the pool, where Dayna reflects on the evening before when Mel apparently took the gum out of Dayna’s mouth for herself. How very Sirens-coded of them. Dayna shares in a talking head that she usually takes longer to process things, but she’s letting go with Mel.

Not everyone is thrilled about Dayna and Mel’s pool date though. As mentioned, Magan did not like that Dayna did not acknowledge her. And Marie really doesn’t like that Mel also ignores her. These pool encounters between the couples aren’t captured on camera, but the reactions to them sure are. Marie can’t believe Mel wouldn’t even make eye contact with her, and this leads to what looks a lot like a panic attack she has in the kitchen.

Meanwhile, Mel and Dayna are in their own little bubble that apparently no one can penetrate, not even for a casual hello. Mel says her feelings have grown for Dayna, and oh boy they’re making out on the balcony! There’s a booty grab! It’s a for real make out, and it’s fully on camera.

Before heading out for another night out, Mel asks if Dayna “wants to tongue” before they leave. Not the way I’d word it, but to each their own.

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Second Week of Trial Marriages

Mel + Dayna

Let’s stick with these two. So, we’ve got some physical intimacy happening at the end of week one of the Trial Marriage. And now at the start of week two, they’re discussing the codependency that has already emerged. (It sounds like some classic enmeshment to me, too, but I can’t expect them to know every therapy term on these shows.) Dayna points out they’re spending all their time together, and Mel says she feels like they could spend even more time together (joking…I hope?!). The only time they’re not together is when one of them is in the shower.

Mel asks Dayna how long she would wait after getting married to have kids. Dayna wants a really big wedding, one that not only she and her future partner could never forget but her guests, too. Okay, so yeah, she’s that type of girl, which is no shade from me! I wanted a big wedding, too. But I didn’t until I was with the person who I wanted it with…if that makes sense. I think sometimes people hinge all their hopes and dreams on a hypothetical huge wedding where it doesn’t really matter who the other person is. I was always drawn to the idea of a big wedding, but it was always going to depend on whether the person I was with wanted it too and whether I thought that fit our relationship’s style and needs. ENOUGH ABOUT ME. Mel is indeed opening every so slightly up to the idea of marriage, if she had the right person. I’m starting to feel like Marie isn’t that person for her if that’s the way she’s talking about it here.

Pilar + Kyle

Okay, yikes, we have something serious happening here. Kyle and Pilar return home to the apartment, and Pilar is crying and apologizing. Kyle explains to the camera that they were out dancing and Pilar wanted to kiss, and Kyle said no, but then later in the night Pilar started making out with her and Kyle didn’t stop her. It’s difficult to get a grasp on exactly what happened given that it was all off camera, and it becomes more muddled and confusing in the episode to come, but basically it sounds like there was some boundary blurring or crossing, and now they’re both trying to figure out how to proceed.

This is also when I recall that 60% of this show is People Having Serious Conversations Under Blankets on the Couch. We indeed get one of those scenes here, with Pilar and Kyle on the couch chatting about what happened. Kyle doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. Pilar feels guilt because everyone seems to think it’s so easy for her going through this process. She feels stupid. Kyle doesn’t think her boundaries were being respected. She says Pilar had been saying a lot of things the night before, and Pilar says it was because Kyle said she likes words of affirmation. “So you’re like playing the game?” Kyle asks, and Pilar takes great offense at this. She doesn’t feel like she was leading Kyle on or playing any type of game. She says Kyle is pinning something on her that was mutual, painting it in a weird way. She walks out.

Again, I’m having trouble discerning everything here, especially since they’re both speaking kind of vaguely and because we didn’t see the evening out in question. Episode five delves into it some more, so let’s go ahead and move right on along.

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Next: Ultimatum Queer Love Recap: Episode 5

The Ultimatum: Queer Love Recap – Episode 5

We seemingly open on Dayna and Mel having sex? I mean, not a literal scene of it, but we can hear moaning and sex sounds from behind their bedroom door. I mean, we all say the balcony booty grab. We knew where that was heading.

Second Week of Trial Marriages (Continued)

Pilar + Kyle

Okay, yeah, still trying to get the bottom of this, and so are they. Pilar says she’s owning up to what she did, but she doesn’t feel like Kyle is taking any accountability. Kyle says, yes, she does take accountability for giving mixed signals. Pilar, still hung up on the “playing the game” comment, says she’s not some player. She has been with one person her entire life. Kyle admits she’s not great at healthy conflict and probably shouldn’t have said that. Pilar is surprised by how “jabby” Kyle got, which Kyle blames on having sisters who fought meanly.

How can they move forward? Pilar thinks they can start over. Kyle cries and says she appreciates Pilar and how she sees her. She feels safe in conflict with her.

A lot going on here! I don’t really know what to make of it! I initially assumed these two would have a drama-free Trial Marriage. But I think they’re both in very different places emotionally, and it’s leading to some confusion and miscommunication. Maybe they can get it back on track?

Later in the episode, they agree Kyle can see on the couch and Pilar can take the bed. Okay, we’re resetting. New boundaries, new Trial Marriage.

Haley + Magan

Oh YES it’s time for the part of the show where people bring in bewildered family members and friends to be like “hey here’s this new person in my life who I’m in a Trial Marriage with let’s all talk about it on camera.” I love this part.

Magan invites her fellow masc friends Ali and Nikki to meet her trial wife — or as she calls her, her “tilly willy” — over a beautiful Lebanese meal out in Miami. Magan tells her friends it’s so easy with Haley, and I think it’s so funny when people on this show say things like this. Of course it’s easy! It isn’t real life! You’re playing house! It’s sexy and fun and no one has to think about bills or rent or groceries or car problems.

Her friends ask Magan about family stuff, and Magan says that even just being around a whole group of queer people these past few weeks has really opened her eyes. She has never really been in a situation like this before. She says she’s really pushing herself and growing, and she gets emotional. Her friends are stunned. This is a very different Magan than they’re used to.

The friends ask Haley if her ex is masc, and she says no. They’re surprised by this and ask her what it’s like dating a masc. This is an interesting convo! In general, I wish the show delved into more specifics of queer dating and dynamics. I’m also super interested in Magan being a masc who wants to carry one day — that’s not representation we see a whole lot of! Haley says she was more dominant in her relationship with Pilar (oops, I know they’re supposed to talk about their original partners in the past tense and as if they’re really broken up, but I usually don’t slip into that! Even I’m swept up in the romance between Magan and Haley!). Magan told her she had to put her hand in the back when they held hands, and I laughed at that, because that’s absolutely something my wife would tell me.

The friends ask if there’s potential here (“YES!” I scream from home). Haley doesn’t ever want to lose Magan from her life, whatever that looks like, and Magan agrees. “Welcome to the squad,” her friends say to Haley. Cute!

Their life at home continues to look quite blissful. They’re eating popcorn together in bed, giving each other googly eyes. They play another sexy game with some whipped dream and kissing and…also moaning? Lotta sex sounds happening in this episode!

On a date the next day, Haley notes that clearly some lines are getting blurry. They go ahead and put it out there: They had sex. They’re not trying to hide it. Magan says sex opened another part of the relationship and allowed them to go deeper, and Haley thinks they would have regretted it if they hadn’t hooked up. “I’m here to have an authentic relationship with Haley. I’m here to have an authentic relationship with Dayna,” Magan says. She really has done a full 180 since wanting to initially walk away from the show. She doesn’t think the two relationships are comparable, but it seems like she’s definitely unlocking some new knowledge about herself through this connection with Haley.

And yeah, if you’re going to have sex during a Trial Marriage, don’t hide it! Don’t be weird about it! They’re both going about this in a way that feels normal!

AJ + Marie

Marie has never felt more alone, but she knows it isn’t AJ’s fault. She didn’t realize how much the process of this show would make her realize how unhealed she is from things in the past. Here we have another People Having Serious Conversations Under Blankets on the Couch scene, and this time there’s also inexplicably a Pride flag draped along the back of the couch.

Marie is in shock that Mel couldn’t even look at her at the pool. “Mel’s smile would have been enough,” she says. Instead, there was nothing at all. She’s resentful that AJ has had two conversations with Britney and she can’t even walk past her person. AJ is really here for her for all of this. She wants her to put aside her ex, focus on herself.

Marie then really lets it all out and shares all the shit she has been through: She stopped talking to her mother, and then her mother died by suicide. “It doesn’t get easier,” she says. “I hid from that for years. And that shit just creeps up in all these spare moments that I have.” She feels angry. “I’m a very angry person deep down,” she says. AJ says it’s like Marie finally has time to process all of this. She works three jobs usually. And yeah, I do think there’s something to be said of the fact that for a lot of people, taking time off from their regular jobs and regular lives to do this show really cracks open something in them. It’s not exactly the “right” or perfect setting for her to process stuff from her past, but hey, we can’t control when these things crop up, and maybe having AJ as a neutral party to listen to her let some of this out could actually really help Marie in a way Mel couldn’t.

Britney + Marita

Well, these gals are having a grand ol’ time! It’s sleepover vibes! But Marita also worries that Britney is holding back some of her emotions and real feelings about AJ, her relationship, the process, all of it, for her sake. She wants Britney to act and feel the way she would if she wasn’t here. They both want to work on being stronger advocates for themselves and their feelings. Marita says for her it all goes back to her childhood when she was the youngest in a home full of turmoil, so she always tried to be the happy one making everyone feel better. She then talks about how work isn’t fulfilling her economically, emotionally, or physically, and Britney says it sounds like other parts of her life, too. She wants her to stand up for herself and accept nothing less.

And now they’re going to watch Norbit! They’re crushing Trial Marriage in a way the others couldn’t dream of!!!!!! And later on a day date to eat some salad on a bench, they make squirting and creaming jokes. Again I say: We lesbians love a filthy joke.

Mel + Dayna

On a picnic in the park, Dayna tells Mel she spoke with her mom, who she describes as her best friend. This is a major red flag for me personally. I find there to be a strong correlation between being best friends with your mother and arrested emotional development, but I digress! Dayna says she had to create her own vision of marriage for her self because that wasn’t modeled to her growing up. She once again tries to tell Mel what she wants, which she has been weirdly doing this whole time, insisting Mel actually does want marriage. Mel is like “don’t bring me into this.” She doesn’t know what Dayna wants her to offer her. There’s tension. Mel thinks Dayna is trying to make her meet her where she’s at. It isn’t real compromise. Dayna thinks Mel is just scared, not that she actually doesn’t want things like marriage, positioning herself as a bigger expert on Mel’s feelings and desires than Mel herself after a mere few weeks of knowing her. That is indeed a personality type!

Mel becomes more direct about not wanting kids. When she was in her her early teens, she felt weird around kids. She wasn’t interested in seeing or hearing about other people’s babies. When she was 16, she was told she’d never be able to carry a child herself and that if she did, either she or the baby would die due to her chronic health conditions. Since she didn’t want a kid anyway, the news didn’t hit her too hard. The actually wild part of this reveal though is that Mel says Marie doesn’t know this?! They’ve been together four years! She should know this! Dayna points out that Mel is very lucky she’s gay, because hey, she doesn’t even have to carry, her partner could.

Back at the apartment, they seemingly hook up.

Ashley + Bridget

You know, these two don’t really have a ton going on outside of being pretty sweet together like Britney and Marita. Ashley really loves her dog! I’m rooting for Ashley and Marita as individuals, though I do not think they should get back together. They just don’t seem like the right fit, and Marita was 22 when they got together, which is just so young. Ashley has been through a lot and I think should be with someone with better aligned life experience (probably closer to her age or even older).

They go on a pottery date, where Bridget teaches Ashley how to throw clay. It’s sweet, if a little stilted. Ashley compares Bridget’s pot to an onion volcano at hibachi.

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Third Week of Trial Marriages

Mel + Dayna

We sure are spending a lot of time with Mel and Dayna in this episode, and I think that’s how you know they’re troublemakers. But this show would be nothing without the troublemakers! Dayna introduces Mel to her mom and her sister. I am living for Dayna’s mom’s sparkly chest glitter.

“My world revolves around her every single day,” Dayna says of Mel. Well! I think you have a lot to work on in terms of boundaries and maintaining individual identity within a partnership, Dayna! And I think this show is making you lean into your bad patterns rather than address them!

Mel jokingly complains about Dayna hitting her in her sleep while they cuddle. Her mom and sister agree Dayna can be very hot and cold. Her sister says Dayna became a different person when she started dating Magan: softer, happier. Magan made her a better person, and Dayna’s sister loves Magan. This all sounds great to me, a certified Magan Stan.

The whole thing has Dayna, understandably, thinking of Magan. But Magan is not thinking of her. Back at the apartment, Dayna is out on the balcony wrapped in a blanket and making a tearful nighttime call to Magan. We don’t hear Magan’s words, but Dayna is freaking out, asking how Magan can say that to her, saying she doesn’t even know who she’s talking to right now. “You’re treating me like I’m nothing,” she says. She wants to go back to Michigan. She is disappointed, calling Magan her person. “She literally told me to fuck off,” she says. “I feel like I’m gonna die right now.”

YIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES.

But also…just saying…Magan wanted to walk away from this whole thing in the first place, and you convinced her to stay…I’m just…you know…putting that out there. Food for thought.

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Night Out

We now have a group night out! The ultimatum receivers go to one bar, and the ultimatum givers go to another. I’m sure everyone is going to be perfectly respectful and cordial and no shit will be stirred.

Ultimatum Receivers

Marita asks Bridget how Bentley, Ashley’s dog, is and becomes sufficiently jealous when Bridget talks about how much Bentley loves her. Fair! Mel says she’s glad Magan is here…she wants to talk. Marita likes having a femme wife, because Britney will do her lip liner for her, and that’s hot. Britney is being really attentive and a good listener, too, and AJ says she hopes Britney can provide that for her when they reunite.

Pilar admits it’s hard not to spiral about what Haley could be doing with Magan. Oof! I think that will indeed be a tough one to swallow when she does learn just how close they’ve gotten. “I respect you. I would never do anything to hurt you,” Magan says. At least, not intentionally.

AJ says Marie is having a hard time getting over Mel, especially after Mel didn’t acknowledge her, to which Mel responds she was just doing what she’s supposed to be doing. Is there external pressure from producers for them not to talk to their original partners during their first trial marriages??? I mean, AJ and Britney met UP. And even IF they were breaking some rules to do so, all either Marie or Magan wanted from Mel and Dayna was a smile, a hello, not a full-on conversation.

Magan agrees with AJ’s assessment of Marie’s reaction: When she saw Dayna and she couldn’t look at her, it hurt. She isn’t going to run after her like a puppy dog. Mel steps in here, clearly with a bone to pick. She doesn’t think Magan should keep punishing her. “If she needs you, are you always there?” she asks Magan in a tone that clearly suggests she believes the answer to be no. Mel doesn’t like how Magan handled Dayna’s late-night phone call. She says if her partner reaches out to her hysterically, she’s always there. She wouldn’t tell her partner not to call her again.

Innocent, clueless Marita gently asks “what happened yesterday?”

Mel would like to have a private conversation with Magan. She tells her Dayna is there for her a lot and Magan is always her person, but when she needed Magan, she didn’t show up. Magan jumps in to say Dayna was not asking her for help, because she never does. Instead, Dayna had said she was breaking up with her, she was going home, that she in fact did not need her. Mel says Magan should have identified this as Dayna issuing a cry for help, because Magan knows how Dayna is and this is how she asks for help. “Just because I know it doesn’t mean I’m gonna enable it,” Magan says. And that’s fair! Dayna issuing these, ahem, ultimatums of “I’m breaking up with you” and “I’m leaving” are manipulative, not productive. If she needs help, she has to say that. If she needs support, she has to say that. She can’t use threats to get Magan to come take care of her. That’s a horrible pattern in a relationship, and you know what, it’s starting to really make sense why Dayna is an ultimatum giver in the first place.

Ultimatum Givers

Marie admits it was really hard the first week. AJ wasn’t feeling the same way she was, and she brings up AJ meeting with Britney, who honestly seems to be pretty secure and chill, perhaps the most of anyone at this point of the show. Dayna tells Marie she deserves better, and Britney is like “than AJ????” And I am having the same reaction, because if there’s anyone Marie deserves better from, it’s Mel.

Dayna says her experience with Mel has been really real, and Marie does not seemingly like to hear this. Dayna reminds them all that no one forced any of them to do this. I think Dayna could use this reminder for herself, too.

Haley shares that Magan is very comfortable talking about her emotions and that they’ve been having a very emotional experience (physical, too, but she doesn’t share that). Haley hopes that she and Pilar can take the work they’ve done on theirselves and mesh it together, but she also knows it could push them apart. Kyle says she feels Pilar is working on herself. “I think that Magan will always be in my life,” Haley says, and Dayna’s fae says otherwise.

Dayna admits to the group she almost left last night. She doesn’t know if she has a future with Magan, who she says didn’t give a fuck she existed during that phone call. Kyle gently suggests Pilar is feeling similarly about Haley, who says she doesn’t want to be a tyrant to Pilar and also wasn’t present for the phone conversation Magan had with Dayna, who doesn’t believe her. Haley thinks neither Magan nor Dayna were assuming good intentions on that phone call, and she insists Magan is not regressing and is making a ton of growth. It just might not be the growth Dayna wants or expects.

Dayna asks Marie to talk privately, and I laughed when she phrased it as “do you wanna talk?” and Marie is like “do YOU?!” Because yeah, clearly this conversation is for Dayna’s peace of mind, not really to make Marie feel any better. Marie admits to having insecurity about them: “surface level, you and Mel are hot.” And she doesn’t like that! Dayna tells her to give them the benefit of the doubt, and Marie fires back to ask if she’s doing that with Magan. Also…benefit of the doubt for what? Dayna and Mel clearly hooked up, and I don’t think Marie will care for that information! Dayna says she can’t live without Magan or without Mel, and Marie asks Dayna and Mel like each other. I think that ship sailed long ago, girl!

Haley then requests a private conversation with Marie, who is very overwhelmed. Haley tells Marie she has heard Dayna and Mel are more romantically involved than they’re letting on…and that there’s receipts. She doesn’t have said receipts, but they’re out there. Marie accurately points out that anything anyone does will come to light no matter what, because yeah, it’ll be on television! The show is the receipts! Marie is shaking. Haley tells her she deserves better.

Back at home, AJ checks in on Marie, who says she’s “fucking peachy, darling.” We’re definitely seeing a glimpse of some of that anger Marie herself talked about. She tells AJ that Haley has proof Mel and Dayna are fucking, while she’s playing house. “FUCK. THAT,” she says, fuming. Marie needs answers from Mel ASAP; she doesn’t care if she has to go on “every fucking floor screaming her name.” She will find her ass.

I BELIEVE HER.

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