The Autostraddle 100% Natural Feel-Good Good Advice Generator

Hello, you sweet lambs! Good day, you powerful musk oxen! Did you know today is our sixth birthday? It is, yes it is! And for our birthday, we are hosting an all-day Advice-a-Thon/AMA with our staff and a whole bunch of special guests. If you’re an A+ member, hop on over and ask us anything! If you’re not an A+ member, we hope you’ll think about joining up today. Not only do you get some pretty rad perks — including exclusive content, newsletters, a podcast, discounted merch, and more — when you join A+; you also get the satisfaction of knowing you’re keeping the most popular independently-owned queer women’s website in the world up and running!

But hey, you know what? We understand A+ is not for everyone, and that’s okay! We love you very much! And we don’t want to leave you out of the advice loop. So below, you will find one of our greatest creations: The Autostraddle 100% Natural Feel-Good Good Advice Generator. Answer four simple questions and our generator will look into your soul to determine what kind of advice you need today, and choose the famous queer woman to speak that advice right into your brain and your heart.

Go ahead, give it a try.

Thank you for celebrating our birthday with us. We could not do this thing without your constant love and continued support.

Before you go! It costs money to make indie queer media, and frankly, we need more members to survive 2023As thanks for LITERALLY keeping us alive, A+ members get access to bonus content, extra Saturday puzzles, and more! Will you join? Cancel anytime.

Join A+!

Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, the Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter, and Instagram.

Heather has written 1532 articles for us.


  1. Can we make “revenge is a dish best served by dinosaurs with lasers” a mainstream aphorism? I think it needs to be a thing.

    Also, apparently I need to make sure I have cheese in my house. I think Autostraddle understands me on a pretty deep level.

  2. WHOA. Normally I find these things kind of silly, but I was hating myself and my doctors and life in general because I’ve been bedridden from a chronic illness flare-up for the last two weeks, and I’d much rather be out getting stuff done and improving the world with the power of science. And I thought since it’s Autostraddle and I need some good advice anyway, I’d give it a shot.

    My quote: “Just because you have asthma doesn’t mean you don’t like to get on top every once in a while.” -Sara Quin

    There’s no way they got that from four questions. This has to be Legilimency. Yer a wizard, Heather!

  3. I am struggling to study for my test on Monday and dealing with new glasses that are causing me pain… This Angela Davis quote is perfect! Just what I needed.

    Thanks Heather!!

    Also Happy Birthday Autostraddle!!! You have changed my life distinctly for the better.

  4. I absolutely love your blog and find many of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for.

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