“Apparently INFJs operate more off feeling, and I would say that intuition very much commands my brain/heart ship, so it’s an accurate assessment. How’d this bitch know that I’m soft-spoken though?”
We’ve got one warm-up song to help you be the very best like no one ever was, as well as two songs of cooldown, totaling about five minutes, from everyone’s favorite queer farming simulator. And everything in between.
Hello we’re short on content today would you like to see pictures of my new dog, Carol Aird?
A few months ago, some of us took the Enneagram test and felt extremely uncomfortable with the truths it revealed about us. As fun as that was, we thought it would be even more fun to make even more Autostraddle staff do it and also share their results with a large audience. Let’s see if we were right!
Join me, my purple lipstick, my long tangled hair (and, let’s be real, my fucking Bullet Journal) as we take charge and live our best lives.
Being a Queer Lady Magician to me means sharing the truths of our lives in unexpected, thought-provoking ways, instilling a sense of wonder, expanding our imaginations around what is possible.
Mermaids are femme icons for a reason. Their siren songs and sensual looks lure troublesome sailors, only for the mermaid to devour them whole and make herself stronger. To put it plainly, a mermaid is a boss bitch. I could use some of that energy in my life right now.
I’m taking back power this year, after a year of feeling so powerless. I’m reveling in the parts of me that feel most like me.
“Does anyone at the CIA who is for sure reading this want to hire me?”
It’s 2018, we’re sick of this, and we’re hungry for blood.
Love a good spiral backward!
Scene: French countryside in winter. I am wrapped in a floor length faux fur coat and earmuff. My new diamond earrings and rings sparkle in the brisk sunshine. From afar, I watch the children playing with their au pair in a grassy knoll.
Imagine if Coley Taylor from “The Miseducation of Cameron Post” saw Hayley Kiyoko’s “Girls Like Girls” video first day of sophomore year of college and it freaking changed her life. I’m her ten years later.
I wonder what Laneia looked like in her winter coat as a small child, or what pose KaeLyn made in front of the Christmas tree when she was 4, or what wacky gift Riese’s aunt bought her one year. LET’S FIND OUT.
I can and will figure out a way to do everything by myself to keep from having to be nice to someone I don’t want to be nice to. I don’t want to be nice to a lot of people.
Find out what the entire Autostraddle Team wants for the holigays, and nab a couple of sweet gift ideas for you and your loved ones while you’re at it!
Sleep apps, French girl skincare, and some truly adorable watercolors!
Cat lovers, we’ve got some very exciting news for you.
A little behind-the-scenes magic for you this evening.
First it was for Midwestern moms, then it was for social influencers, then it was for everyone, and now it’s ours. La Croix is gay culture. (While we’re on the topic: Staying hydrated? Gay culture. Water? Gay culture in that it is life, which is something we are constantly giving other people. The ocean? Gay.)