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Grease Bats by Archie Bongiovanni

Geekery

Grease Bats: Sober Kid at the Party

“I had no idea how much drinking masked my anxiety until penicillin.”

By Archie| July 6, 2019 | 14 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Cruising 4 Pride

“This Pride I’m finally getting over my CATHOLIC GUILT that has prevented me from engaging and enjoying hook-up culture!”

By Archie| June 8, 2019 | 10 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Spring Fling

“I’m not emotionally ready for a CRUSH!”

By Archie| April 13, 2019 | 17 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Post-Valentine’s Day

“Group sex has betrayed me.”

By Archie| February 16, 2019 | 5 Comments
Geekery

Bad News: She’s Straight

“Straighter than an arrow! Straighter than a ruler! Straighter than uncooked spaghetti! Straighter than your parents! Straighter than a 401k!”

By Archie| January 19, 2019 | 21 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Lonely

“I went to a museum ALONE. Then I treated myself to a fancy coffee ALONE. Then I worked in the library ALONE. Then I bought this sweater ALONE.”

By Archie| December 22, 2018 | 22 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: The Afterparty

“Ahhhh… the afterparty: Where good decisions go to die.”

By Archie| November 24, 2018 | 7 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Homophobic Inheritance

“You’d think after someone dies you wouldn’t have to deal with their bullshit anymore… yet her hatred perseveres!”

By Archie| October 20, 2018 | 14 Comments
Visual Art

Grease Bats: Homosexual Imposter

“Do I need an undercut? Do I need to wear a half-way buttoned top in a French tuck?”

By Archie| September 22, 2018 | 22 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: New Friends

“Are you interested in engaging in some platonic friendship?”

By Archie| August 25, 2018 | 22 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Top, Bottom Or Switch?

“You’re working yourself up into an identity crisis!”

By Archie| July 28, 2018 | 18 Comments
Visual Art

Grease Bats: Feeling The Gender Feels

“I’m fine” is just code for “I’m disassociating from my feelings.”

By Archie| June 30, 2018 | 11 Comments
Geekery

Greasebats: Can’t Go Home Again

“I can list everyone on the US Women’s Soccer Team from least gay to most gay haircut!” “I can’t even appreciate what a cool and vital skill that is because I’m too sad!”

By Archie| June 2, 2018 | 8 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Summer Exes

“Is that Emily? And Sarah!? AND Casey??”

By Archie| May 5, 2018 | 8 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Not My Jam

“Dating. Sex. Romance. It’s not my jam.”

By Archie| April 7, 2018 | 15 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Heartbroken

“The first girl I loved punched me in the face at recess in fourth grade.”

By Archie| March 10, 2018 | 15 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Don’t Cancel Your Sex Date

“That’s it, I’m cancelling my Valentine’s three-way to celebrate with you!”

By Archie| February 10, 2018 | 16 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: New Year’s Resolutions

“Sure, I’ve mostly only eaten free fortune cookies for the past two days, but I’m FINE.”

By Archie| January 13, 2018 | 19 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Holigay Obligations

“You know what I’m doing for the holigays? Absolutely NOTHING that I feel obligated to do!”

By Archie| December 16, 2017 | 6 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Astrology Is Real And Meaningful

“You can tell that now is a good time for Scout to finish their erotic novel ‘Buffy The Butt Slayer’ just from their astrological sign?”

By Archie| November 18, 2017 | 61 Comments
Geekery

Grease Bats: Grab Yer Pumpkins

“Ivanka Trump claiming to have a punk phase — she is NOT taking punk from us.”

By Archie| October 21, 2017 | 10 Comments
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Latest Posts

  • Boobs on Your Tube: After Four Years, Grace Choi Is Finally a Superhero, Welcome “Wylde” to Black Lightning!

    Boobs on Your Tube: After Four Years, Grace Choi Is Finally a Superhero, Welcome “Wylde” to Black Lightning!

  • S L I C K: Plug and Play

    S L I C K: Plug and Play

  • Ginny & Georgia’s Lesbian Gets a Refreshingly Typical Teen Dating Story

    Ginny & Georgia’s Lesbian Gets a Refreshingly Typical Teen Dating Story

  • The Comment Awards Think They Might Be Kinda Gay

    The Comment Awards Think They Might Be Kinda Gay

  • Into the A+ Advice Box #30: Lonely, Jealous, and Wrapped up in Pandemic Anxiety

    Into the A+ Advice Box #30: Lonely, Jealous, and Wrapped up in Pandemic Anxiety

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