Grease Bats: New New Year’s Resolution

Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Grease Bats, today’s comic, is created by Archie!

Guess what! Archie’s five-year collection of Grease Bats is now a book you can hold IN THE PHYSICAL WORLD, with your HANDS, that you can read OFFLINE, that you can TUCK UNDER YOUR BED AT NIGHT! Snag a copy for you and a pal!

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I'm a cartoonist living in Minneapolis. Co-Author and artist of A Quick And Easy Guide To They/Them Pronouns. Author of Grease Bats, coming out Fall 2019 with Boom! Studios! If I'm not working I'm socializing. If I'm not out with friends I'm drawing. If I'm not doing any of those things I'm probably depressed. Support me using Patreon.

Archie has written 117 articles for us.


  1. Really happy with how supportive these comments are about disliking cooking! I’m not the only one!

  2. I LOVE cooking! Which kinda feels like some personal ad now of an ”Ari seeks Andy” kind but whatever..

  3. As a kitchen bottom married to another kitchen bottom who works longer hours than me, I’ve had to learn some cooking skills out of necessity, but ughhhh I just want a plate of nice food to appear in front of me the instant I feel hungry please and thank you. It’s 2020 where are our Star Trek food replicators and Jetsons robot helpers already

  4. This is so precious and as someone who LOVES cooking but HATES dishes, I even found it a tiny bit relatable ;) I always make time for selfies though, even if I have to pull a pan off the heat for a minute to slow down the cooking process!!!

  5. Dear Andy, there is no cooking except for one-pot-pasta. And the one pot goes in the dishwasher even though it shouldn’t.

  6. Uh, I literally food prepped all day today as part of a resolution thing. 😬

    Fun fact, though, garlic supposedly shares smell properties with vaginal fluid which, again, supposedly, makes it a favorite ingredient in lesbionic minded households?

  7. The only time in my life that I might have been able to relate to this was just after I left the final job of my professional cooking career, but I was seriously burnt out at the time. Now (years, and a completely unrelated bachelors degree during which I cooked for myself all the time, later) it baffles me that there are people who hate cooking. I love cooking for myself. I will only cook for other people if I damned well feel like it. In all these years, I’ve never once felt like it.

  8. I only learned to cook just last year.
    Cooking IS a hellacious task, but it feels SO good knowing that I, a person that’s never been good at anything ever, am capable of making things that taste SO good!

  9. Cooking gives me life and yeah you right fuck all the GODDAMN DISHES.
    It’s a more sisyphean task than laundry.

  10. I like cooking and baking just fine, I just don’t usually have the energy/mental space to do it. but I also agree about the garlic and the dishes

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