In which we learn that Riese has never actually seen Practical Magic, and might have to send back her toaster.

Five years later, things are still exactly the same in Rosewood, PA.

Emily almost gets some action but then discovers the girl she’s wooing doesn’t have a TV and calls the whole thing off.

Ali hosts a dinner party with the hope of rooting out Charlotte’s killer. Meanwhile, Emily is dying.

There’s a lot of news in here! Alice Isn’t Dead is coming to TV and so is 2 Dope Queens. Shay Mitchell’s playing gay again. Anna Paquin joins Tell It To The Bees. Amandla Stenberg stars in The Hate U Give. St. Vincent is directing a brainbender. And so much more!

2017 was the best of times and the worst of times. LOL JK it was the absolute worst of times. But the queer TV was pretty good.

Plus: Another dead lesbian on The Purge, another almost dead lesbian on You, and less murderous updates on Grey’s Anatomy, Star and Fresh Off the Boat!

Camille gets a kind of girlfriend on Stitchers, Maggie’s got her eyes on a barista on Younger, and The Bold Type kicks off with a lesbian subplot and a welcome dive into Feminism 101.

We’ve got tennis sex, Antiope, and the quantum-physics of Kristen Stewart’s wardrobe – it’s the Comment Awards!

Also: Maggie gets in more trouble in the bath on Younger, and The Fosters talks about trans sex and abortions without apologizing.

Come for the euphemisms, stay for the butties! It’s the Comment Awards, now with more gender bending Gillian Anderson. Praise.

New trailers from Orange is the New Black and Orphan Black promise very intense storylines, Southwest of Salem picks up a GLAAD Award, hot queer female spokesmodels are hot, Korean television goes queer and other very important pop culture stories that could really make your day or not.

It was both the best idea and the worst idea I’ve ever had.

“At the start of migration season the ruby-throated hummingbird has only one goal in mind – she has to almost double her body weight, in order to survive a treacherous trip across the gulf of Mexico. At the start of migration season, the black-haired filmmaker has but one goal in mind: build a strong enough case to survive the gauntlet of work-visa processing.”

Does Annaliese Keating have a new gal pal? Maybe! Arizona Robbins, however, has none. None gal pals. Tara’s still alive on The Walking Dead, the Shannara gays are still gayin’, and Sarah Paulson gets her revenge on American Horror Story: Cult.

We’ve got cosmonauts, laundry tips for misandrist vampires, and a lot of puns about those fellows at Pompeii — too soon?

Also: Annalise Keating in a suit! And: American Horror Story, what in the world?

There aren’t many new lesbian, bisexual, trans, or queer characters on fall TV, but there are a few; and a handful of returning favorites.

Unlike Orange Is the New Black, Queen Sugar’s approach to Black Lives Matter storytelling works because it doesn’t resort to excessive violence or torture porn to make its point.

Plus: Queen Sugar has a “perfect man” problem, and Maggie’s best ever episode of Younger.