NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Trying Something New

Feature image of @kathlxxnveronicadiamxnd by Kenzi Crash. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are courtesy of photographer Kenzi Crash and have been used with permission. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ Be honest with yourself about your breakup:

“‘People have a hard time being honest with themselves about relationships,’ says Eric Yarbrough, MD, the director of psychiatry at Callen-Lorde Community Health Center. ‘Part of a breakup is analyzing and figuring out what this person is giving you, what you’re not going to be getting anymore, and coming to terms with that.’ If you’ve just gone through a breakup, it’s fine to remember the positive aspects of that relationship, but make sure to weigh them against the negative ones, and then figure out what’s best for you in the long run.”

@mia_secreto by photographer Kenzi Crash

+ And then set some post-breakup boundaries:

“Ideally, as soon as the relationship ends, you and your former partner should hammer out how each of you feels about keeping in touch, and then set boundaries. ‘Here, you can discuss anything from how to deal with mutual friends to whether or not to unfollow each other on social media,’ Dr. Yarbrough says. ‘You’re going to run into them post-breakup, either online or in person. And if you’re vulnerable, you’re more likely to go back to them.'”

@plasticcandi by photographer Kenzi Crash

+ First dates: they are fine:

“First dates to me aren’t exactly thrilling. But I’m also not in the camp of people who see them as hell on earth. For me, a first date serves one single purpose — to get to know someone over two drinks maximum in order to see whether or not I want to hang out with them more.”

@princess_eleganza by photographer Kenzi Crash

+ Here are some ways people with vaginas can avoid UTIs, including wearing cotton underwear, using lube, and peeing when you have to pee. Also, if you have one, you can still have sex if you want to, but non-penetrative sex might be more comfortable.

+ Here’s how to lie to yourself about how much sleep you got if you didn’t get enough sleep last night for some reason.

+ Why not just ask the person you’re on a date with for their natal chart if you’re that into it?

@kyanitediastema by photographer Kenzi Crash

+ At Bitch, adrienne maree brown writes about how to have fat sex, including getting in touch with your body and how you experience pleasure, investigating your own desires and boundaries, thinking about what you need to feel supported, focusing on sensation and more:

“Look down directly at your body. Look in the mirror. Take pictures and videos of yourself and examine these. Look at pictures and videos others take, especially those where people say you look good. You are looking for the good. You are looking for your own appeal. You are looking through a layered web of conditioning that says you are not beautiful, sexy, or desirable. You are disrupting the lies and distortions. You are a miraculous life form pounding with blood and thread with nerves that thrum with pleasure. You’re blessed with more landscape in which to feel pleasure.

Use your own fingers, feathers, scarves, whips, back scratchers, or water. Get very familiar with the pressures, temperatures, and pace that feels good to you. Grab handfuls of your own flesh and feel how soft and solid you are. Center your own body in your desire—you are not here just to please someone who sleeps with you.”

@kathlxxnveronicadiamxnd by photographer Kenzi Crash

+ Masturbating the exact same way all the time isn’t a bad thing, but it’s also fun to grow and explore and try something new:

“[T]ry using a new sex toy, or consider other areas of your body that you might enjoy stimulating (like your nipples or inner thighs). Non-mainstream, queer-friendly porn can be a great resource for ideas, too. ‘There are an endless number of ways to masturbate, so why limit yourself to just one technique?” Marin says. And while you’re exploring, remember that you don’t have to orgasm when you’re masturbating, Bailey says. ‘A lot of times, we’re so focused on the future tense, bringing ourselves to climax, that we miss the whole [reason] why we’re doing it anyway: because it feels good,’ she says.”

+ The photos in this week’s NSFW Sunday are by photographer Kenzi Crash (also on instagram and the photographer behind @reneicespieces’s NSFW Sunday). Kenzie says:

“A lot of my photographs reflect what I wish I had had access to when I was growing up. A different way, the destruction of gender, different sized and shaped bodies, racial diversity, queerness. Most of my photos are of friends, some are long time friends, some are lovers, some are acquaintances, and many are pillars of the community. Queerness has always been to me a freedom, a space where we hold each other accountable and get free all at the same time. A place where we talk and analyze and attempt to destroy the systems that oppress our families, chosen or not. I think self acceptance and self love are radical and important actions toward our queer liberation. That’s a huge reason why i take photos of the beautiful queer people in my life — to hold up a mirror and show my friends how beautiful they are. As far as representation goes, the more we can see each other and ourselves, the better. It’s far beyond time for there to be much more space for fatness, blackness, genderfuckery, all differently shaped and abled bodies, and for us to all feel sexy naked.”

@bulletsweety and @snaxho_ by photographer Kenzi Crash

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Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1128 articles for us.

9 Comments

  1. I clicked on this because I read how to try something new when masturbating. A bit earlier, this commercial comes on and said “Try something fresh” lol

    Just what I needed because lately, it’s been kinda boring and I didn’t know if it was because I was watching the same scene (from The L Word) over and over or what. Maybe I need to change up my technique? :)

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