NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Wants To Sext You

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Feature image via rodeoh.

Katie in Wonderland and Kalopsia by photog Nathan Cyprys

Katie in Wonderland and Kalopsia by photog Nathan Cyprys

+ Sarah Hollowell wrote about being told that, as a fat person, she can’t expect to be wanted/loved, and about being wanted/loved:

“It’s somehow more comfortable for society to label fat people disgusting than to acknowledge our desirability. The propaganda is so pervasive that fat people must fight not to believe it of ourselves. We look at our bodies in bits and pieces because we are taught that the whole is too much. We feel a lover’s hands on our fat thighs and we have to trust that the hand wouldn’t be there if its owner didn’t want us.

We eat the messages that call us repulsive and we let stomach acid destroy the words and we march forward. We flirt with another fat girl at the coffee shop. We welcome a skinny boy to lose himself between our legs. We learn to stand naked in front of full length mirrors and see our many inches as a whole.

We learn to fall in love with ourselves.”

Pollyanna via drawnwithcurves

Pollyanna via drawnwithcurves

+ Celebrating Valentines with a new sex toy?

Babeland is offering free UPS ground shipping on orders over $50.

Good Vibes is offering discounts over purchases starting at $75.

Lovehoney has gift ideas as well as “choose three for $20 / $40 / $80 / $120” bundles.

Need ideas? See all of Autostraddle’s sex toy shopping guides.

+ The Duke of Burgundy, a lesbian BDSM film, “is one of the few movies out there that doesn’t sensationalize the practice.”

+ Lesbian Sexting: The Zine is a zine that exists that might be relevant to your interests.*

Ella Nova and Daisy Ducati via crashpadseries

Ella Nova and Daisy Ducati via crashpadseries

+ Sometimes we believe weird myths about sex, but sometimes those things are wrong, like the idea that sex beforehand will wreck athletic performance (it won’t), the idea that women don’t watch porn (they do) and the idea that sex makes you happy (it can, until you start worrying about how much sex other people are having):

“Wadsworth’s survey group of 15,386 people was queried from 1993 to 2006 and asked if they were ‘very happy, pretty happy or not too happy.’ After controlling for numerous factors, the researchers found that people who had sex at least three times a month were 33% happier than those who hadn’t had sex in 12 months and the happiness level rises with frequency: “Those reporting having sex two to three times a week are 55 percent more likely to report a higher level of happiness.”

Not that surprising. But if you want to turn someone from Tigger to Eeyore let them know they’re not getting as much action as the next person.”

April Flores via indie porn revolution

April Flores via indie porn revolution

+ Not trusting your partner, feeling volatile or apathetic toward them, routine cheating, suppressing your own needs and no longer prioritizing your relationship can all be signs it’s not going to last for too long:

“Whereas before, you’d return his calls right away, you’d text her funny emojis, you’d have no problem picking him up a tub of Red Vines on your way home, or making her favorite bacon Nutella sandwich, now those acts and sweet-nothings seem like chores and burdens. When you stop caring about doing nice things for your partner (and we mean both big and small things) it’s a sign that you’ve also lost some interest in the relationship itself. You’ve stopped showing up for each other. This isn’t to say that taking her aunt’s Chihuahua to the vet will cease to be annoying if your relationship is solid, but helping your partner out and putting in the small doses of effort that make her feel appreciated are ways to show your good faith and devotion.”

+ Tube site Pornhub is largely not good for performers and producers:

“Because it’s a porn tube site, Pornhub will never quite become a household name, but that’s not to say it hasn’t come pretty close. To the “civilian” world, as the porn industry calls it, the Pornhub brand is virtually interchangeable with digital self-pleasure. But as the website’s dominance grows, many performers now believe Pornhub is directly contributing the economic decline of the adult industry. By serving as a platform for free online content, the argument goes, Pornhub and other tube sites are essentially taking money directly out of performers’ and producers’ pockets.”

+ And now, an excerpt from an open letter to new unicorn hunters:

“If you don’t know what a ‘unicorn hunter’ is, that’s simply an established couple, a heterosexual man and bisexual woman, that’s searching for a bisexual woman* that is open to a relationship with both the man and the woman in the existing relationship (but no one else), who will love them both equally, and agree to the rules that the couple has already decided are healthy for their relationship. She is expected to fit in to their relationship without changing the existing relationship with the couple, and if they feel that she’s not following any rule, she’s out, to protect The Couple.

There’s a reason we call them ‘unicorns’ – none exist. And there’s a reason we call them ‘Unicorn Hunters’ – they’re toxic.”

Stefania Ferrario via Liquor in the Font

Stefania Ferrario via Liquor in the Font

+ There’s One Very Big Sex Myth We Have To Stop Telling, says MicSexual pleasure is determined by more than an orgasm. We get the message in pop culture and from porn that sexual pleasure is all about orgasm. But there are actually many ways to feel sexually satisfied.

All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.

* Disclosure it is definitely a zine I made. 

Before you go! It takes funding to keep this publication by and for queer women and trans people of all genders running every day. And support from readers like you keeps the majority of our site free for everyone. Still, 99.9% of our readers do not support. Autostraddle is fundraising right now to keep our site funded through January 2022. Will you join our community of readers in helping to keep us around?

Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1126 articles for us.

16 Comments

  1. That tentacle glass dildo is AMAZING in person.

    I got it as a souvenir for somebody from the Seattle Babeland. Apparently I was not the first person to ask if they had anything shaped like the Space Needle.

  2. That Sarah Hollowell essay made me cry a little bit. Those kind of essays always make me feel like garbage. If I could write off my complete lack of anything resembling a love life as being because I’m overweight and ugly, I could write that off as being other people’s problem. But no. I’m the problem. I’m so completely forgettable that no one can really work up enough fucks to give to even dislike me. Essays like this just remind me of that and how it’s not really fixable, no matter how long I’ve tried.

    • I didn’t read it; I find things like that intensely triggering. (MY problem) In my head, intellectually, I’m cheering them on– anybody who’s embracing themselves for whatever reason that goes against society’s standards (or no particular reason, just because). I have such intense body-related problems (among other things) that I’m trying to push through that I have trouble reconciling my intellectual acceptance of self-love with my knee-jerk disgust with myself. It seems awful to say that I’m not reading body-positive things right now because they intensify my own negative feelings, but that’s the way it is. I hope that changes. I’m writing about it a lot.

      In the meantime: Raksha. You’re NOT completely forgettable. I’m going to remember you, okay? And “fixable” isn’t really a thing. No one is broken, and no one is “fixed.” There may be a sliding scale of feeling-okayness and getting-alongness and coping, but the key is it’s sliding: you can go up and down. Down tends to be fast, and up is usually slow, unfortunately. Don’t think I’m being Miss Mary Sunshine here– I’m not. My life is pretty fucked-up right now, but it’s less fucked than it was at this time last year. And I’m calling “less fucked” an improvement.

  3. Thanx for the note on orgasm and sexual satisfaction. My vagina is only 6 months old and, as such, I’m still learning how everything works. I can honestly say that I am sexually satisfied, but I don’t know if I’m having an orgasm.

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