Feature image of Rafaela Avidago via nextdoormodel.com.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ Lindsay King-Miller answers questions about intrusive exes, being married to a man and being not straight, being in love with your boss and what to do when the friend you’re secretly in love with is dating someone else:
“If at all possible, give yourself some space from this girl. I know you’re in separate cities, but you need emotional space as well as physical so that you’re not just constantly ripping scabs off your heart. Spend less time texting her and more time going for walks, practicing the ukulele, or perfecting your gluten-free pancake recipe. I don’t mean you can’t ever speak to her again; I mean that you need to set boundaries that will let you live with the fact that she doesn’t want to be with you That Way. If all you’re doing is waiting around for the day she breaks up with her girlfriend, it’s going to fuck with your friendship and your life. You’re not creepy or a bad friend for wanting more, but since you can’t have what you want, take a few steps back from the situation and focus on goals you can actually work toward and achieve. Otherwise, your disappointment could fester into resentment and you might end up losing her for real.”
![Patty Mayo via altblackgirls.tumblr.com](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/patty-mayo-via-altblackgrils.tumblr.jpg?resize=421%2C640)
Patty Mayo via altblackgirls.tumblr.com
+ The Mary Sue previews some of the forthcoming comic erotic anthology Smut Peddler:
“Erotic art has been a mainstay for much of human history, but given the current male-gaze seeped mainstream comic industry, it’s refreshing to see a more varied and true-to-life representation of sexuality gain traction. Smut Peddler is riding the wave of made-for-women porn that is appearing “as fast as we want it to exist,” says Corsetto. And the sheer variety of those reading it is reflected in the content being produced.”
![via pascalpierrou: Anais // maquillage Kim Min Young // coiffure Stéphane Macquaire // copyright Pascal Pierrou](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/anais-by-pascal-pierrou.jpg?resize=425%2C640)
via pascalpierrou: Anais // maquillage Kim Min Young // coiffure Stéphane Macquaire // copyright Pascal Pierrou
+ At Refinery 29, Stoya discusses how to have sex for the first time, talking about sex and post-penetration burning:
“There’s one more thing you should prepare yourself for: The first time you have sex is probably going to suck. It might hurt a little bit, it might hurt a whole lot, and it is definitely going to be awkward. I’ve had a ton of sex and it is still awkward pretty regularly. “Awkward” doesn’t mean you’re bad at sex or have failed; it means you’re a human being mashing your body together with one or more other human beings — “awkward” is just part of it. “
![Mattice Lowry via model mayhem](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/mattice-lowry-via-modelmayhem.com789386.jpg?resize=533%2C800)
Mattice Lowry via model mayhem
+ Amazon does not approve of BDSM. Or of sideboob.
+ At the Toast, Drew Grant has some bad sex advice.
+ Kale can maybe improve your sex life, because kale is magic.
+ In Hawaii, sex ed is now opt-in.
![Nadia Aboulhosn - FUBU via Nadia Aboulhosn](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/jersey-girl.jpg?resize=426%2C640)
Nadia Aboulhosn – FUBU via Nadia Aboulhosn
+ In the UK, a new campaign wants sex and relationship education to be statutory in schools “to address real-life issues including respectful relationships, domestic violence and consent“:
“Emma Renold, professor of childhood studies at Cardiff University, is among those who despair about the situation. ‘Failing to update and make SRE a mandatory part of the core curriculum that addresses sexual rights, sexual discrimination, sexual health and sexual wellbeing is failing to support children in navigating an increasingly complex sexual world and enduring gender and sexual inequalities.'”
+ Soly Poly discusses ambient contact and balancing autonomy and connection in solo poly relationships:
“To me, although I adore living solo, I also treasure ongoing, ambient connection with the people I love. I prefer to feel their presence in my life, as well as in my heart. Just lightly enough so I don’t feel smothered or hobbled.
When I’m in significant relationships, typically I enjoy daily or near-daily contact of some kind with my lovers. But this adopts various forms and pacing, depending on our respective communication availability and preferences. This is where asynchronous communication, supported by technology, is a huge boon to me — I’m really not much for talking on the phone.
To me, ongoing ambient contact of some kind with my lovers fosters intimacy and understanding, and provides a sense of connection and stability in my relationships that I value.”
![Taelor Laries via altblackgirls](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/taelor-laries.jpg?resize=500%2C750)
Taelor Laries via altblackgirls
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
“Failing to update and make SRE a mandatory part of the core curriculum that addresses sexual rights, sexual discrimination, sexual health and sexual wellbeing is failing to support children in navigating an increasingly complex sexual world and enduring gender and sexual inequalities.” isn’t that a beautiful statement?
Thanks for posting the “friend you might have a thing for” advice. I’m in the situation, with a good (long distance) friend. The kicker is he’s a guy who’s just started a relationship with another guy for the first time. I could barely look at him when he told me he thinks he’s in love. I sucked it up and tried to stop being selfish because I know this (non-monosexual life) is new territory for him and it means a lot that he cares what I think. But I’ve been scared my emotions are somehow going to cross the 1500 miles between us (I know that’s irrational but I feel like he knows me well enough) and screw with our friendship. Gotta get over it. But it’s a little rough.
[/soapbox]
Ugh, that really, really sucks. Something like this happened to me before except that person wasn’t a guy and they were not long-distance. Unfortunately, I ended up seeing that person develop a crush on someone else then ask them out on a date. It was totally brutal because I only noticed it happening right when I came to terms with my crush on them. It isn’t the first time I’ve fallen for a friend but it hurt the most.
Basically, it will take time and suck a lot, but the other side will feel SO much better. Eating chocolate helps, too. :)
Thank you! I’ll definitely heed that advice :) it sucks, especially the part where you whether you could’ve made them love you back. The icing on the cake is that when we reconnected last year, it seemed like he had a thing for me. When I visited last week, he referred to me as his “sister” for the first time.
Coulda sworn this was a girl on girl site ?
You know bi-ness is a thing. Just saying.
COURTNEY TROUBLE
I’m embarassed to say it was 2 or 3 Lesbosexy Sunday columns befor I realised there were links here and it wasn’t just pictures. Oops!
I’m also embarrassed to notice that I spelled embarrassed wrong.
You were distracted by all the beautiful people. It happens. :)
It took me a LONG time to notice.