NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Wearing A Harness Under Her Dress

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Feature image of Lorenda Ituah.

+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay King-Miller discusses what to do when your partner comes out as trans, having a horrible crush on your close intimate friend, “advanced dating,” bi-invisibility and why you don’t need to be defensive of butch/femme dynamics:

“It’s totally okay to only like girls with short hair. As a femme married to a biker butch (who’s also a gourmet cook and amazing knitter, so fuck the idea that gender roles define every aspect of your life), I don’t agree that butch-femme relationships inherently ‘glorify the patriarchy’ any more than femme-femme or, for that matter, dude-lady relationships. If there’s no assumption that the more masculine partner is more capable, more intelligent, or should have more power within the couple, then a romance where one person is feminine and the other masculine—regardless of their genders—is in no way politically regressive. There’s also no reason to assume that a “real” lesbian would be attracted to every woman in the world regardless of gender presentation, appearance, or personality. Jesus, that would be exhausting.”

+ Sometimes people screw up their relationships over the holidays. Don’t do that by being clear about expectations and plans, still having dates, figuring out whether or not you’re going to have sex in someone’s childhood bedroom and more.

+ Some dating apps are more likely to lead to texting than sexting or ever actually meeting in person.

+ You should probably masturbate.

+ Stoya discusses what to do when you don’t like the way your partner kisses, and making relationship decisions according to what you want and what you’re willing to compromise on:

“I think you need to answer this question: Where is your personal agency and responsibility for your own actions and choices in all of this? Because you do have personal agency and responsibility.

So, what do you want out of a relationship? What does a healthy, long-term relationship look like to you — the big stuff, like time management and how intertwined your lives should be, not the little, superficial things like ‘brings me flowers’? Do you require a partner who comes without emotional baggage or previously made commitments? How much room in your life do you have for a partner, and how much are you willing to sacrifice to make room for one who feels right? How much of a time (and emotional) commitment do you need from a partner? How quickly do you think a relationship should progress?”

+ People who remember their relationship progress over time are better at maintaining those relationships, according to a study of mostly white young straight monogamous people.

+ You can make a vibrator in the shape of your head, if you tried, if you wanted to.

Alee Rose by Jovell via boidroid

Alee Rose by Jovell via boidroid

+ Butts: it’s time to stop discovering that they exist.

+ At Rookie, Tyler discussed what it’s like to be grey-romantic.

+ A summation of the works of Seedfeeder, Wikipedia’s sex illustrator.

+ Teens in Nevada are protesting to get better sex education. While parents in Freemont, California, are protesting to ban an actually useful sex ed book:

“The fact that parents initiated the protest against this book indicates the problem facing sexual education today: Sex ed exists, sure — but it needs to address current conversations (and practices) involving sex if it is going to make an impact. […] [S]ex is something that gets discussed everywhere, regardless of whether there’s an authority figure there to confirm any hypotheses. So, the job of sex-ed classes is to demystify sex facts and debunk sex myths, all while refusing to make this a taboo subject.”

via vogue

via vogue

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Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 964 articles for us.

10 Comments

  1. I was part of the Mevada Teen Health and Safety coalition goings-on. We don’t just protest, we go to the district committee meetings and share public statements. Under the scrutiny of parents who actively deny us the respect that we give them.

    Thanks for the mention, as far as I’m concerned, being in AS is making it!

  2. Sex-ed is so important that sometimes I want to make “And this is why we need comprehensive sex education” my catchphrase. Whenever someone says something cringe-worthy about sex or sexuality, or whenever a statement about sex leads to an awkward silence, “And this is why we need comprehensive sex education.”

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