NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Up Too Late

Feature image of Vivienne Vai in Crash Pad Series episode 275. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

“When we celebrate queer history, we’re usually thinking about the elders who came before us and the sacrifices that they made to ensure that future generations wouldn’t have to go through the same hardships that they did. By remembering their radical calls for acceptance and civil rights, we’re really thinking about action-oriented activism. But in doing so, we leave out the importance of the practice of kink and BDSM, which are radical acts in their own right. It’s time to correct this, to include and center kink as a valid part of queer history—because without it, we are erasing an essential part of our heritage,” writes Cameron Glover at Slate on why we need to recenter BDSM in radical queer history.

Mona Wales and Natalie Chen in Crash Pad Series episode 271

Commitment phobia isn’t about whether or not you want to put a name on a relationship with another person, but about whether or not you’re accountable, communicative, and say what you need:

“Willingness to commit, however, is not tested in the early stages of a relationship or even in the decision to be exclusive. It’s tested when conflict arises, when romantic partners have to decide how the relationship should proceed or one takes issue with another’s communication style. People with aversion to commitment ‘get angry and overreact,’ Henry says. ‘They don’t like having accountability. They get defensive when [their partner] makes a point.’

Those dedicated to the relationship will throw their partner a lifeline, even if they’re upset. ‘They will tell their partners what they need,’ Henry says, ‘and say, ‘I need x, y and z to repair this.’’ More commitment-averse ones will remain stunned and not offer a way forward, she says.”

Cuffing season is cancelled.

The more conscientious you are, the better in bed you are.

XConfessions is a new app from Erika Lust that will help you talk about kinks and fantasies.

Read a brief history of sex workers, excerpted from Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers’ Rights by Juno Mac and Molly Smith. And here are some myths about sex workers, deconstructed.

Sex(ual violence) and power are not a binary.

At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen re-reviewed the Womanizer, noting: “I thought if I tried it with an open mind, lube, and gave myself lots of time to just lightly play around, maybe it would be different this go ‘round. But it’s too much in too small of a space in too short amount of time. It sucks a physical reaction out of your body before its had time to warm up, to feel pleasure.”

Here are some early sexual fantasies.

Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d in Crash Pad Series episode 265

Why do people get couples’ tattoos? At the Cut, Katie Heaney writes:

“Among individuals, [social psychology professor Viren Swami] says, the primary motivators for getting tattooed are the desire to impart a sense of uniqueness and/or to commemorate someone or something important. He suspects this logic can be extended to couples as well. ‘When a couple gets the same tattoo, or even when an individual gets a tattoo that is a marker of the relationship, they’re essentially saying “This is an important relationship for me,”‘ says Swami. “’This is an important, meaningful relationship, and I’d like to symbolize it in a way that involves permanence and involves pain.’””

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 926 articles for us.

3 Comments

  1. Would y’all ever consider putting articles about sexual violence in a column that isn’t about “sexy” things? As someone who likes to have sex but is a survivor of sexual assault, the headlines next to the erotic photos is way too much.

  2. Also relatedly…I came up with an exercise program for those of us who have problems getting motivated to even get out of bed.
    It’s called “Masturbate your way to better health.” Or alternatively the Jane Fondler workout.

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