NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Making Gay Eye Contact

Feature image of models Agnosia and JK Grey by photographer PercocetPush via agnosia.

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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

BlackCat photographed by Seductive Arts Photography (check out her paetron!)

BlackCat photographed by Seductive Arts Photography (check out her paetron!)

+ At Adult, kinky porn star Rain DeGrey discusses her relationship to BDSM, power dynamics, how to punish a masochist (spoiler alert: spanking doesn’t work), the spirituality of kink and more:

“By the time they’re done, I’m not aware that I’m on the stage. I don’t know my name, I don’t know that there’s a camera. I seek utter oblivion, and I have found that BDSM is a very spiritual thing for me. And, you know, by the time I get out of the shoot I can’t walk or talk, I don’t know who I am, and that’s not drugs or alcohol. That is me having found a path to tap into my body and naturally produce endorphins and adrenaline in my head – where I’m getting such a rush and it’s… Who would not want to hallucinate and forget who they are? It’s utter un-self-consciousness.”

+ Is someone flirting with you?: “If you feel terrible, she probably likes you. At the very least, you should spend a lot of time worrying about how much she might like you, as this may push her over the edge, liking-you-wise.”

via rodeoh

via rodeoh

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the pack and play Shilo dildo, noting, “Packing the Shilo is the most mentally and physically connected I’ve felt to one of my cocks.”

+ The Sweetness At The Bottom Of The Pie, The Chamber of Secrets, Bossypants, and other books that sound like bad sex advice.

+ “Lesbian” is the most-searched-for term in porn across the United States.

+ At Sugarbutch, Sinclair Sexsmith writes about setting up kinky protocol:

“I see protocol as something done routinely that is triggered by an action. Whenever x happens, do y. For example: Whenever I get home, offer to remove my boots. Whenever we wake up, make the bed. Whenever you need to pee, ask my permission first (if I am available). Before you go to bed, make sure the dishes are done. Whenever you address me, use my proper title.”

+ Sometimes it’s hard to talk about what you want, especially when what you want is non-monogamy:

“There’s also a piece here about desire—your mental health status and trans identity are things about you, but polyamory is about what you want, what you like. It has a volitional aspect, which makes it feel much more open to value judgments in a certain way. This ties into the way we are taught to judge people—and approve of or disapprove of them—based on their desires. When my middle kid started preschool at two-and-a-half, they started teaching them the rule “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.” I found the lesson tremendously refreshing. We could all use a reminder that we shouldn’t harshly judge what someone else enjoys. Maybe one of the things in play here is that people have yucked your yum before, and you’re (legitimately) hesitant about it now.”

+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: What to do when you’re in love with someone but you want different things:

“The minute you start to worry about all the life stuff together is the minute it starts being relevant. In some relationships, this happens almost instantly. In others, it never happens at all. There are plenty of healthy relationships between partners who only agreed to be partners because they’d established they want the same things in the areas they consider important. And there are so many healthy relationships that never look forward, that opt out of the relationship escalator, that are content to stay at the same level — still growing forward as people and together, but not necessarily growing more enmeshed. Both these scenarios are fine and can be beautiful but they are not yours.”

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 927 articles for us.

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