After NY Gay Marriage Defeat, Could New Jersey Be Our Filthy/Gorgeous Hope?

GAY MARRIAGE: We’re still so disappointed about New York, but if New Jersey’s gay marriage legistation passes next week, we promise to never make jokes about New Jersey ever again. Over 700 marriage equality supporters rallied in Trenton today!

However if this is just another day of disappointment, we will either put up a lot of photos of puppies, or we will do this:

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Real Housewives of New Jersey

Either way, we will, however, make jokes about MTV’s new show Jersey Shore.

jersey-shore

they can get married so why can't we

NY FALLOUT: Meanwhile in New York, the reactions begin:

The New York Times has letters to the editor about what happened in Albany: The ones we agree with like: “Dispiriting, depressing, infuriating and deeply saddening — all these reactions are appropriate given the failure of New York State to protect my rights.” and then there’s the infuriating letters, like, “the vast majority of Americans either don’t want to redefine marriage as it stands now, or simply have more pressing issues to worry about.” (@nytimes)

Wouldn’t it be awesome if one of the gay haters turned out to be gay? mean probs not, but a girl can dream: NY Sen. Kruger Says No To Marriage, But Yes To Hot Guys in Lyrca.

Because blaming anyone besides THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED NO is soooo productive, it’s Tom Duane’s campaigning to drum up support for the marriage bill that’s being fingered as a failure: and Now Sen. Tom Duane Receives the Blame for NY’s Failed Marriage Vote. Or, how’s this: Gov. David Paterson was right to insist on a vote to legalize same-sex marriage during the current special session, but he was too weak to get the job done.

“New York’s courts may choose to use the annulment challenge as an opportunity to hear evidence on the social harm marriage discrimination causes for the entire state — gay and straight residents alike. There are plenty of arguments to support this assertion”: The NY Couple Who Want Their Marriage Annuled (Because It’s Unconstitutional)

UGANDA: An incredibly compelling essay on Rick Warren’s continuing to lose integrity over proposed Ugandan gay bill: “Very few people want to bring this up but there is a serious problem with the mindsets of some Christians in this country. They go beyond merely defending their values. They are attempting to create a reality where their beliefs are the ones on top of some type of ecclesiastical food chain. They claim to be under persecution but their definition of being persecuted lies in their inability to deal with the fact that this is a multicultural society, not a Christian one.”

RIGHT WING: But the best news we’ve heard all day? Our loudest gay republican Andrew Sullivan is leaving the Right Wing! because he “cannot support a movement that is deeply homophobic, cynically deploys fear of homosexuals to win votes, and gives off such a racist vibe that its share of the minority vote remains pitiful.”

TOLERANCE: In response to bullying, a middle school in California delivered a strong lesson in tolerance — tolerance of redheads, that is. Guess the gays are in the clear… unless you go to this other middle school in California, which apologized for its lesson in tolerance — tolerance of gays, that is.

balloon1MILITARY: What does the U.S. Department of Defense have planned for tomorrow? I’ll give you a hint: it has absolutely nothing to do with national security. Celebrate 40 years of the internet and track down a bunch of huge red balloons — winner gets $40,000 in governmental cash.

MIXED MESSAGES: Thanks to a terrible/AWESOME slip-up, phone calls to Florida’s Gov. Charlie Crist were redirected to the following pervy recording:

“Hey there, sexy guy. Welcome to an exciting new way to go live, one on one, with hot, horny girls waiting right now to talk to you.”

PROP 8: The “Yes on 8” bigots think it’s fine to take away the rights of gay couples, just so long as nobody ever finds out who they are.

FLOW CHARTS: Hey, neat-o! Check out these super complicated flow charts that map the military strategy in Afghanistan and the debate over gay marriage.

2010 BALLOT: Crazies like this guy (and his freakin’ 4,000 supporters) make me glad I don’t live in Denver anymore. In 2010, Denver voters will be asked to approve a welcoming panel for extraterrestrials. “If approved, the city panel would promote “harmonious, peaceful, mutually respectful and beneficial coexistence” between earthlings and extraterrestrials”… SRSLY. This comes at the same time Britain’s UFO investigation hotline shuts down.

BAD JOKE: ‘Brüno’ pastor runs for mayor of Birmingham, Ala. — “In the movie, Trautwein counsels Brüno to convert to heterosexuality by believing in Jesus.”

DEAD PRESIDENTS: Are you addicted to your iPhone? Do you pounce at free applications? Well, now there’s a Ronald Reagan app you can download, complete with photos of Reagan playing mini-golf in the Oval Office.

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41 Comments

      • OMG when I first read that I thought you meant the restaurant and got instant SwissChalet cravings.

        Boo on Roman Polanski.

        Also, both of those tolerance articles made me sad. Arbitrary redhead discrimination is fucked up, and so is homophobic censoring with a sad attempt at covering up with parental rights arguments.
        Kids need sex ed, DEFINATELY at 8th grade, and gender & sexuality fall into sex ed.
        So QUIT YOUR WHINING AND DEAL WITH IT!
        -Woo! Early afternoon anger! Whatever, I have to get it all out by Friday night.

  1. Thank you ladies for looking out for NJ I leave here and don’t want NJ to break my heart like NY did.

    The below message was copied from the Garden State Equality website.
    I urge anyone from NY or NJ to call or write your Senators and go to the rally if at all possible.

    MASSIVE NEWS: THE NEW JERSEY SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE WILL HOLD A HEARING AND VOTE ON THE MARRIAGE EQUALITY BILL THIS MONDAY, DECEMBER 7 AT 1:00 PM. WE ALL NEED TO BE THERE EARLY TO GET SEATS. MEET GARDEN STATE EQUALITY MONDAY AT 9:00 AM AT THE TRENTON MARRIOTT, ONE WEST LAFAYETTE STREET, FOR FREE BREAKFAST AND A KEY… BRIEFING, AFTER WHICH WE WILL WALK TO THE STATE HOUSE. PARK AT THE TRENTON MARRIOTT.

  2. i don’t understand why the word “gay” shows up as *** in all the comments from the california middle school article. what kind of filter lumps “gay” in the same category as “shit?”

    • It’s especially unfortunate for the journalism pioneer Gay Talese, actresses Marcia Gay Harden and Lisa Gay Hamilton, Memphis Grizzlies small forward Rudy Gay, New Orleans Saints cornerback Randall Gay, champion sprinter Tyson Gay, residents of Manhattan’s Gay Street and Fort Gay, WV, and the WWII bomber Enola Gay (and all others named Gay).

      After the Super Bowl XXXIX victory, one of his former professors attempted to order a replica jersey containing his name and had her request denied because his name was considered objectionable as the NFL prohibits custom jerseys with names that refer to drugs, sex, or gangs. Subsequently, as a result of the press controversy, “Gay” was removed from the banned name list because it is the actual name of an NFL player.

  3. Rick Warren infuriates me to no end. Knowing Obama gave him an even bigger name by inviting him to inauguration makes me want to sneak into a state dinner and vomit.

    I’d love to see the gays and friends online get Uganda to the #1 trend on Twitter. At least as many people should be aware of this as are freaking out about snow in Houston.

    • “I’d love to see the gays and friends online get Uganda to the #1 trend on Twitter.”

      I agree, but also hate that it has to be a trending topic before anyone cares about it. I’d hate to have to explain “It’s just that that was also the week Jersey Shore premiered, so… I guess there were just more important hashtags at the time.”

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