Lindsay Lohan’s My Avi: More Internet Haikus

love @zoOmbini’s tweet
about laura prepon’s brows
being a spoiler


oh and THAT spoiler
of all places i saw it
scrolling instagram


watching contour vids
made me realize the children
they ARE our future


i want to dabble
in ASMR voice work
do y’all think i could


chani vs. susan
generational divide
i’m both tbh


now that i’ve a-camped
my facebook got made over
hair down glasses off


twitter has ruined
all comedians for me
no one’s funny lol


yes that last haiku
i made ‘lol’ one syllable
that’s because it is


come ON adobe
please remind a bitch later
LET ME LIVE MY LIFE


had a google hang
but couldn’t get my screen on
sincerely, A Mom


feel ‘same’ that on skype
lindsay lohan’s my avi
with a lazy eye


recently on slack
laneia nicknamed herself
“whoops, crap” & i died


a foody site launched
for those on their period
how great are humans


pregnant facebook friend
said “all thanks to my husband”
lol thanks for the F!


been cyberbullied
about my resting bitch face
help me obama


ohh a shit comment
let me just reply right here
in this grocery store


that site ‘hot or not’
i hope that its creator
is lost in the woods


used all my data
guess i can’t leave my house now
said an adult, me


proof the world’s ending:
amazon’s best selling books
give it a good scroll


let’s remember those
addicted to cheese & meat
life is but a meme

Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 207 articles for us.

28 Comments

  1. I feel like Susan has been sort of losing it lately, but also, I feel like Chani is sometimes too fortune-cookie for my Capricorn rising sensibilities. I *highly reccomend* Corina Dross horoscopes for Mask Magazine (and on autostraddle dot com have you heard of it)

    Also like, think you have a bright future in ASMR

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