Lindsay Lohan’s My Avi: More Internet Haikus

love @zoOmbini’s tweet
about laura prepon’s brows
being a spoiler

oh and THAT spoiler
of all places i saw it
scrolling instagram

watching contour vids
made me realize the children
they ARE our future

i want to dabble
in ASMR voice work
do y’all think i could

chani vs. susan
generational divide
i’m both tbh

now that i’ve a-camped
my facebook got made over
hair down glasses off

twitter has ruined
all comedians for me
no one’s funny lol

yes that last haiku
i made ‘lol’ one syllable
that’s because it is

come ON adobe
please remind a bitch later

had a google hang
but couldn’t get my screen on
sincerely, A Mom

feel ‘same’ that on skype
lindsay lohan’s my avi
with a lazy eye

recently on slack
laneia nicknamed herself
“whoops, crap” & i died

a foody site launched
for those on their period
how great are humans

pregnant facebook friend
said “all thanks to my husband”
lol thanks for the F!

been cyberbullied
about my resting bitch face
help me obama

ohh a shit comment
let me just reply right here
in this grocery store

that site ‘hot or not’
i hope that its creator
is lost in the woods

used all my data
guess i can’t leave my house now
said an adult, me

proof the world’s ending:
amazon’s best selling books
give it a good scroll

let’s remember those
addicted to cheese & meat
life is but a meme

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. I feel like Susan has been sort of losing it lately, but also, I feel like Chani is sometimes too fortune-cookie for my Capricorn rising sensibilities. I *highly reccomend* Corina Dross horoscopes for Mask Magazine (and on autostraddle dot com have you heard of it)

    Also like, think you have a bright future in ASMR

  2. I identify with this one so much

    used all my data
    guess i can’t leave my house now
    said an adult, me

  3. “used all my data
    guess i can’t leave my house now
    said an adult, me”

    Too real to deal.

  4. i really object to the idea that there are people who think “lol” is more than one syllable

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