Let’s Kickstart LinkedIn: More Internet Haikus

when someone’s private
i’m like who are you, frasier?
as in crane ha ha

you’d think face.com
would capitalize better
on human error

when reddit is first
in the list of search results
about rejection

search “why are (your sign)”
for some autofill insight
about your bad parts

lmao’s reign
trapped in the digital realm
a hard audible

contently speaking
if there’s one thing we don’t need
it’s saving tweet drafts

modern matchmaking
is shared meme comparison
beigecardigan love

do celebs know google’s free
do they even net

@horse_ebook’s last tweet
was in 2013
that got me fucked up

only just realized
it’s @horse_ebooks like horsey
got me fucked up too

listen up mike pence
stay away from horse_ebooks
be “outside” elsewhere

“suggested members”
means big brother is def real
blowing up my spot

let’s kickstart linkedin
into a useable app
maybe hire coders

linkedin irl
a batteries plus bulbs store
feels like a front right

think of the memes lost
in the TRL era
mariah for one

someone’s online voice
like a stone rounding its edge
fun journey to watch

sending “lol” to “lol”
will really get me to lol
*inception droning*

met a young person
now my phone has 12 more apps
release me from hell

what are the chances
alexa takes down POTUS
“tapes” on “tapes” on “tapes”

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. it’s @horse_ebooks like horsey

    Well, that’s gone and blown my tiny little mind.

    • ? I had no idea we were so despised! “so mean” and “so cold” too apparently

  2. Gemini are mean, evil and ‘crazy’ (sic) apparently. And controlling.

  3. Leos: so dramatic, so selfish, so jealous, so stupid
    Cancers: so sad, so crazy, so stubborn, so mean
    Scorpios: so mean, so moody, so intense, so dark

    (Add your moon and ascendant signs as well for a true trifecta of personal dysfunction)

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