23 Excerpts From Carolyn’s Diary, 2015–2016

Welcome to Excerpts From My Super-Secret Diary, an A+ feature for Silver & Gold members in which we publish for you the incomplete and/or highly personal thoughts we’ve written on paper with actual pens. Today, Carolyn has selected some lines and paragraphs from the last 12 months.

1.
I want kombucha. Also to live in a matriarchy.
2.
I had a tiny breakdown last night, I think — or at least I couldn’t stop feeling like everything was wrong or going wrong or going to be wrong. I didn’t even notice how loud everything has seemed lately — totally alone in this empty house — until I went into the office this morning and it sounded quiet and I could suddenly breathe.
3.
Getting up early has made me feel like I have way more time than staying up late ever did. I can journal! I can work out! I can learn tarot! I can cut and juice and freeze several watermelons for some reason! … Maybe I do not identify as a morning person and maybe I still don’t want to talk to people early in ...

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Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1092 articles for us.