10 Ways To Deck The Halls With Gay Apparel

By

feature image from shutterstock

The holiday season is upon us, which means that department stores are now decking the halls. Decking the halls with creations that can only be the result of a project runway challenge in which designers are only given glitter thread, felt, and silver bells in order to recreate old holiday Claymation films…blindfolded.

This year, rather than scoffing at the isle of misfit sweaters and hats no one wants to play reindeer games in, I challenge you to embrace the hideousness. Allow yourself to lower your guards to the bright reds, greens, silvers, and blues and really snuggle into some ugliness. Why? Because we’re better than that and if they are going to keep manufacturing this shit we’re going to one-up them. So ladies and gentleladies of all ages, gather round for you are about to experience something that has yet to be performed in front of such a grand audience: holiday apparel done with style.

stanley tucci darling shall we

stanley tucci in GIF form from here

1. The “Optional” Holiday Office Party

Not too dressed up for karaoke, just classy enough to photocopy your butt and sign it with love and holiday greetings.

Shoes // pants

2.The Mandatory Holiday Office Party

Because “bondingwp_postsis important to the workplace and the man in the red suit and beard just happens to be your boss.

Bow tie

3. The Family Gift Exchange

The one place you can look completely ridiculous and still get away with it in the photos.

Shoes

4. Friendsukkah

Because playing dreidel by your self is just sad and you have extra latkes.

Pants

5. Friendmas

Where you all pretend like you had money to do this and won’t be late on your rent this month.

Jeans // Boots // Boxers

6. Boxing Day Special

Best of luck.

Boots

7. Countdown to Cooties

Get out your chapstick ladies, the ball isn’t the only thing dropping tonight.

Shirt // Blazer // Pants

8. Cuties be Counting Down

When in doubt, smooch it out.

9. The New Year

It is a new year, 365 days to not end up feeling like this again.

10. If all else fails, burn it all to the ground.

burn it down for bing

photo from shutterstock

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our A+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining A+ and supporting the people who make this indie queer media site possible?

Join A+!
Related:

Bing

Bing is twenty-something graduate student in the midwest whose just trying to get by and look good doing it. She currently writes for Qwearfashion.com and runs her own menswear blog for women (idreamofdapper.com). In her spare time she can be found guzzling venti's and reading creative fiction writings based on non-cannon relationships. Find her on instagram and twitter.

Bing has written 3 articles for us.

19 Comments

  11. Ooh, ooh I have a way to ug up the first outfit even further.
    Pick a button up in a colour that contrasts highly with your sweater. Or obtain a sweater that contrasts with button ups you already got.

    P.S.
    Works really well if people don’t realize you own dressy colours in not black. You’ll blind nearly em. :D

    Reply to This Comment

Contribute to the conversation...

Yay! You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy. Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by!