There Are Too Many Websites: More Internet Haikus

feature image via shutterstock

can someone please ask
how trump defines the onion
just make him say it

net neutrality?
*bronzes everywhere but eyes*
never heard of her

people boycottin’
but then there go amazon
and they’re like… jk

fav meme atm?
thank you for asking

moment of silence
for the left swipes made too soon
hardly knew ye girl

damn astro poets
can a pisces live or no
in my feel– oh wait

news cycle word trends
don’t exactly convince me
anyone’s in charge

want a google search?
bookmark “ping pong saradon”
it’s my gift to you

repeating “fake news”
is trump’s own “cash me ousside”
the hoes are laughing

away messages
what i’d give to be back there
nestled in their necks

sometimes the best neg
is a spam folder filter
*winks at computer*

please no one copy
that snapchat screenshot feature
livelihood’s at stake

current twitter vibes
are “fire alarm while at school”
like do we joke or…

think we can call it
there are too many websites
also bands please stop

i may be single
but i got a valentine
from credit karma

the real Y2K
clocks resetting, wall street down
is betty white’s death

with the internet
you don’t have to leave your house
to make bad choices

hope what survives us
the only thing that survives
are stock images

they’ll look back and go
“they were an ordered people”
“dead around the eyes”

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. This is everything.
    All news should come in haiku
    To keep sanity.

    For real though, I’ve been writing a haiku every time the Moon moves into a new sign, and it has been v helpful to my mental health.

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