The Absolute Worst Thing A Boy Could Ever Be

feature image via shutterstock

It’s time for another edition of SE(N)O, an essay series on A+ for personal stories we wish we could tell on the accessible-to-our-employers-and-everyone-we’ve-ever-known mainsite, but can’t for personal and professional reasons.

When I was seven years old, my parents, thinking they were trying to raise a young boy into a man, signed me up for Cub Scouts. It was there that I learned how to whittle a bar of soap into the shape of a whale, how to walk old ladies across the street and how to stop acting like such a little girl.

The scout troop I was in was run through the Catholic Church, and I guess they thought it was more important that we learned how to be Men of God than how to pitch a tent or tie a knot. I may not know how to start a fire without matches, but I did learn how to treat a girl on a date: never let her ask you out; always hold open doors and pull out chairs; refuse to let her pay; only kiss her on the cheek.

Surround...

You Have Reached A+ Content!

98% of the content on this website is available to everybody for free, but this is one of the 1-2 posts we publish each month just for Silver and Gold A+ members. We also publish an additional 2-3 posts a month available to all A+ members (Bronze, Silver and Gold). WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? WHY ARE WE DOING THIS? Well, because...

We Need Your Help.

This might be an awkward way to ask for it, but here goes: we know you like Autostraddle, and we like you a whole lot too. Advertisers and investors, on the other hand? Well, independently-owned politically progressive LGBTQ women's media isn't exactly their thing. It's do or die for us now: either we shore up enough reader support to compensate for the slowdown in ad sales and increasing competition from corporate-owned LGBTQ media, or we shut down altogether.

That's why we've created Autostraddle Plus. It's a way for loyal readers like you to support the site for as little as $5 a month, and in return get a peek behind the curtain of Autostraddle with posts like this one, A+ swag, podcasts, Insider "newsletters," and essays/interviews from the previously-very-hidden parts of our hearts, souls and pants. Best of all, you're helping us keep Autostraddle.com free for everybody — free of cost, and also free from the inevitable compromises made by sites that cater to marketers, not readers.

A+ is a sustainable way for queer people and allies to opt into a system that financially supports other queer people. With the support of readers like you, we can pay our writers, diversify our team and continue to coordinate the worldwide meet-ups that have changed so many lives.

Read more information about A+

Subscribe to gold or silver level to read this post
Already a member? Sign in

Mey Valdivia Rude is a bisexual Latina trans woman living in Los Angeles. She's a writer, comic consultant and a trans activist. She's a bruja, a femme, a pop princess and she loves comic books, witches, dinosaurs and crying. She has a cat named Sawyer and a very successful twitter.

Mey has written 574 articles for us.