The one thing I have managed to commit to over quarantine is perfecting the best possible breakfast sandwich, from the ideal ingredients to cooking and assembly; I am here to share the fruits of my labor.
If you, like me, have incredibly niche neuroses and intensive caretaker concerns that include providing your hook-up a breakfast to remember (or at least sustain themselves), these five quick, low-maintenance, dietary-specification-inclusive recipes are for you.
International Autostraddle Brunch Weekend will be on August 20 – 22. You should host one! You should go to one! You should eat every last piece of toast in the building!
The term “brunch style” does not automatically imply a specific level of formality. My suggestions would depend on the occasion (Meet the parents brunch? Wedding brunch? Date brunch? Hungover with your friends brunch? Autostraddler meet-up brunch? Hip-hop party brunch?) and the venue (Five star restaurant? Pub? Trendy café?).
Alright. You’ve found the brunch meet-up in your city, you are super excited to eat (and eat and eat) but one MAJOR thing stands in your way. You. Still. Need. To. Get. Dressed.
“Why? Because I WANT to eat pancakes at 2 pm without feeling like a complete waste of human life.”
It’s so fluffy, I’m gonna diiiiie!
2.5 hours of tunes, because we know how long brunch takes.
Here’s how I pull off false célébrité to ensure that when I go out to eat, I’m at the VERY LEAST treated like a rich white woman.
The secret to the hangover brunch is having Past You make the food so Present You only has to move some bowls around and turn on the oven and is eating within 30 minutes of turning on the coffee maker.
I see your fancy eggs, and I raise you roti prata.
So, what’s up with upholstered vests?
“Fried chicken fixes most problems, especially ones involving sad soft toast.”
Barefoot Brunch — the kind of brunch where you don’t brunch out. You brunch in. The brunch was within you all along. Or at least, in your apartment. And you don’t have to wear shoes in your apartment.
A veteran brunchateur gets to the heart’s essence of brunch: decadence.
Oh hey were you wondering where to get brunch? Maybe like the weekend of the 23rd and 24th?
It also turns out that I’m a foodie and love brunching sober because I get to focus and spend more money on the actual food! (Pizza and Oreos are NOT theeeeee best combination of food I’ve eeeeeeever eaten. That was the vodka talking.)
Pour some hot sauce on a napkin.
“We partied during the week and met up between classes, but brunch was where we let our queer identities free in a way that was more natural and less defensive compared to who we were in public.”
Your introductory guide to enjoying everyone’s favorite meal.
Just take it all in. Seriously if you need more brunches than are on this list I don’t know what to tell you.