Skins Recap 402: “Emily” (and let’s be real – “Naomi”)

Emily decides it’s time to confront Naomi about the university brochure, but this is one of those rare moments when the kids are in class and so they take the fight out into the football field. There’s lots of wind blowing, which draws special attention to their beautiful hair and lovely skin glistening in the blustery afternoon. It’s actually visually quite a scene.

Field of Broken Dreams

Emily: Why didn’t you tell me you knew her?
Naomi: I only met her once, at an Open Day.
Emily: What Open Day?
Naomi: It was an Open Day, what does it matter?
Emily: We’re going travelling next year, we decided.
Naomi: You decided. Look, I went to an Open Day, I met a girl, we talked, that’s it.
Emily: You should have told me.
Naomi: Well how could I, without telling you where I met her? I didn’t want a referrendum on our relationship over a stupid Open Day.
Emily: Did you know she was gay?
Naomi: I met her once.
Emily: Did you fuck her?
Naomi: No! You think I’d shag some random girl behind your back?

Right now my head is exploding. Naomi can’t understand why Emily is getting all upset that she’s blatantly lied about knowing another girl who likes girls, and a dead one at that who apparently spent enough time with her that someone else was able to snap a picture of the two of them?

But also don’t you feel like you can just sense it sometimes? I don’t think people lie successfully all that often, it’s just a matter of if you’ve decided to operate at an honest level with another human or if you’ve already silently agreed to never know the whole truth about someone. Kids tend to prefer honesty; perhaps it has yet to burn them, they tread less wearily towards it.

Emily confesses that she’s been in the dead girl’s house, and Naomi gets upset like she has the right to. Emily shows Naomi the mysterious key —

Emily: You know what this is for?
Naomi: Something to do with the army. Probably her cadet locker key.
Emily: How do you even know that, Naomi?

Well, I mean, maybe congratulate Naomi for saying something other than “i don’t know” but also YEAH NAOMI, HOW?

Oooo! A Field trip!


The two girls head over to Cadetland, which is nothing like Disneyland, to check out her cadet locker. AND OH WHAT TREASURES THEY FIND. Has anyone else already had the thought, “oh my god she bought drugs from Naomi b/c she was in love with Naomi, not ’cause she just wanted to buy drugs from someone?” ‘Cause I have and I have to say, bravo Skins, this is kind of interesting/complicated.

Where’s Tasha?

So, yeah, this is what the locker looks like (don’t worry that’s not a candle, I mean I was worried too):

I Get So Jealous, I Can’t Even Work

Ah yes. The standard Lesbian Stalker Locker. We’ve got your love poems, we’ve got your emo sketches, we’ve got a bracelet Naomi lost, Naomi’s old toothbrush which Sophie probs used to masturbate, and the wrapper of some cookies that Naomi recognizes as probably being from her rubbish. Oh, and a mysterious wooden box. I’m guessing that’s where the vial of blood & lock of hair is hiding out.

[Song: Organum – Max Richter]

My Misery’s So Addictive

They’re both genuinely shocked, muttering an assortment of ‘what the fuck’s?’ as they sort through, until Naomi is creeped out enough that she wants Emily to close the locker.

Then they hear the army coming to attack them! OMG!

Upon hearing cadets coming, they hide in a storage cupboard that also happens to be in a rehearsal room. Things start hitting home for Naomi.

Naomi: She stalked me.
Emily: You’re very stalkable.

There’s a comfy looking bag of camo nets nearby and that’s convenient, because a marching band starts rehearing outside and so it looks like they’ll be trapped in there for a while. However will they pass the time.


Oh my God this is so awesomely blasphemous, they’re gonna take it off and get busy on top of a stack of camo while army music plays. God Bless the Queen.


The Fitches are having a dinner party and Naomi isn’t invited, but Katie’s new boyfriend is. He’s pretty much your standard-issue doucherabbit. He’s about 20% as cute as his girlfriend and is shoveling food into his mouth like it’s Spaghetti Night at Delta Sig.


Katie finally gets to do a scene with dialogue, which is unfortunate in this instance because she wants to talk about how Sam has a good job and is an upstanding member of the community. I’m still waiting for her to explain why she’s dating him.

Emily looks disgusted but Mrs Fitch is lapping it up, she thinks Sam is a “keeper” because he has a penis and thinks her cooking “off the hook.” Katie says he’s an asskisser.

La Vie en Rose

Okay, Emily’s brother is my new favorite character; he wants to know where Naomi is so he can show her his new “number.” And he doesn’t mean “personal rendition of Hey Big Spender,” though he might. Mum is unimpressed but he adds that lots of boys get curious about women’s clothing when they hit “pub (pronounced “let’s go get wasted at the pub”) – ‘er – tee.”

The “keeper” corrects him on his pronunciation but then shoots his finger and winks and it makes me like him instantly ’cause that is terrible/awesome. The gay genes are running amok in this dining room.

I Enjoyed a Good Pair of Stilletos in my Day Too, Boy

Katie thinks he’s really clever because he knows how to pronounce words, for chrissakes I was really hoping they would give her a better personality this season.

Emily: Why is he here?
Katie : He’s my new boyfriend, Emily.
Emily: [to Mrs Fitch] You said that Noami couldn’t come because this is a family dinner.
Mrs Fitch: This is a six-seater table Emily, what do you want me to do?

Besides, the dinner is supposed to be happy! A surprise celebration! Mrs Fitch’s got the loan approved for new wedding planning business, Let’s Get Fitched that no-one knew she was starting. No, not even Mr Fitch. If she told him then he might have been able to warn her a little earlier that his gym went out of business and his unemployed, which is why he was in such a hugging mood earlier. But all she cares about is where she’s not going to get the money to bribe Emily to cancel the trip to Mexico. What a Fitch.

Emily: I don’t want [your money]. Don’t you get it? I want Naomi.
Brother: I want to fuck Naomi.
MOTHER GIVES LOOK OF SHAME AND HORROR
Brother: What? I do. Get over it.
Mother: Rob did you just hear what he said
Rob: She is attractive, love.
Mother: Fuck, Rob. he said fuck. Now do you see what she’s done to our family?
Emily: I’m moving out.
Rob: Don’t be rash, love. and (brother), don’t say fuck.

Emily wants to move out, and her Mom is like FINE and she’s like FINE and we’re like FINE as in yes, you’re FINE.



Emily’s not gonna stick around and be bribed, she’s gonna do the smart thing and MOVE IN WITH NAOMI, her drug dealing, possibly lying and potentially straying girlfriend! But not before Katie tries to stop her.

Katie: You know mum doesn’t really mean to be a total bitch.
Emily: Yes she does, and you let her.
Katie: She’s just trying to help you.
Emily: It’s all fake. This family is so fake.
Katie: I’m not fake!
Emily: Fake tan. Fake boyfriend. Fake concern.

Katie swears she really is concerned and doesn’t want Emily to move out, and ps, she spent several hours in the sun that day, so the tan is real. Also her boyfriend may seem a little fake, but also he is HUNG LIKE A HORSE! I actually didn’t expect that, he looked like he’d be small.

Emily doesn’t have time to argue though, ’cause the dead girl’s brother has shown up on her stoop.


Matt figured out who “Nancy” really was and wanted to share the suicide note that Sophia left him, hoping to find answers to her death.

You may recognize the contents of this suicide note, they are the lyrics to the blondie song “Heart of Glass.”

Heart of Glass & Paper

Emily: She killed herself.
Matt: Was it you? Was it you she killed herself for?
Emily: No! And it wasn’t Naomi either. She didn’t know either of us, she lied about that.
Matt: She wouldn’t lie to me.
Emily: She lied to all of us. I’m sorry you feel angry at her but it’s really not my fucking problem.
Matt: I need the truth, this isn’t all of it.
Emily: No.
Matt: Emily, what are you scared of? We can help each other.

Emily, why’d you bring up Naomi? And Matt, you confuse me. How could you help each other? Is this The Sopranos? Sads.


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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3181 articles for us.

68 Comments

  1. This is a six-seater table Emily, what do you want me to do?

    He’s an adult, he’s earned the right to be gay

    I’m not supposed to love her but I do because I CAN’T FIGHT THE MOONLIGHT

    Also, I totally awww about Emily and her Dad.

  2. There’s some really hilarious quips in this recap
    And man did I feel all ?!?! at the end of this episode

    I’ve read Naomi’s episode is the last of the season
    So I’ve come to except I will not get the storyline i’ve hoped for by the end of the season, but it’s going to be interesting.

  3. Such an epic recap! I was cracking up so much!!! In this episode, I thought that the few lines that Katie had were pretty hilarious. I don’t know why, but everything she said made me want to laugh/punch her in the face. Also, in the house party scene, when Naomi was whispering in the other girl’s ear, it sounded like she was telling the girl that a guy was looking at her. But maybe it was just wierd sound editing and was supposed to be someone else saying it. Anyways, just wanted to give you kudos for the fabulous recap!!!

    • Thanks! You know, you’re probably right about what Naomi was whispering into that girl’s ear. Sometimes it’s just more fun to pretend that everyone is a lesbian or a future lesbian.

      • Haha, that definitely does make shows more interesting. I think I was probably just trying to hang on to any last bit of hope that Naomi hadn’t cheated on Emily.

  4. I was way too invested in their relationship. I thought this episode was really well executed and I totally didn’t see the ending coming. The scene between the two girls on the roof was heart-wrenching. Nice “Our Town” reference.

  5. This episode was trying to give me a heart attack. I saw the lezzie stalker obsessed story being the way things went, not the Naomi cheated and then pretended like the girl didn’t even exist story.

    The little brother in a dress reminds me of the little brother in Sugar Rush.

    Lynne and I had a great money-making idea- Since the cast/stories are all changed up after 2 years, and this is it for Naomily, we want to pitch a Skins/Naomily movie. It would basically just be Kathryn and Lily making out the whole time.

  6. I was completely hacked by this episode. My feelings were much the same as Riese’s. I believe in their relationship and it’s genuine quality without having seen all the adorable “we’re learning about each other emotionally and sexually” moments. (Although let’s be honest here – it would’ve been MUCH better had we seen these things happen.) And it felt very real and painful to be with Emily as she looked at that book.

    I really want them to work. Cause I like to look at Naomi (I like it a lot) and I like Emily’s lisp (it is very cute) and it’d be really nice to see these two make it.

    #igetwaytooinvestedintelevision

    • My gut feeling is that Naomi and Emily are going to get back together and then live happily ever after.

      • Mine too. That’s how it should be, after all. Maxxie got to run off with his one true love to wherever they were going, so should these two. Any couple of girls that look ~that cute in fake moustaches ought to be together forever.

  7. Brilliant recap. My thoughts, in short –

    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one that noticed Cook hadn’t washed his hands. But it’s Cook, would be surprising if he did.
    2. I got mega vertigo when they were all up on the roof and the camera did the birds eye view shot. I also felt a bit sick because I thought Emily was going to jump.
    3. Why does Cook always bounce back from all the shit that he goes through? I kind of want him to completely fuck up and for it to be a little more realistic. Otherwise it’s just the longest self destructive phase ever. Booooriiiing.

    • To be fair on point number one, also complaints in the article on him peeing in the tub, I feel like there’s an age range where being shittered at a party, and walking in to somebody taking up the bathroom, the shower/tub totally becomes fair game. No? Just me?

      …Except Emily wasn’t using up the toilet was she… Oh. KIDS THESE DAYS!

  8. ‘Effy, you make that bracelet work. You work it. It would look better removed by a gynecologist from my cervix where you accidentally left it’
    hahaahaha wtf, that thing is well past her wrist.

    i also thought that photo of naomi and sophia didn’t look like sophia at all, i thought she would be smaller than that? different hair? hence confusion, until the part where they sugar spelled it out.

    • That comment about Effy and Hot Topic was one of Riese’s – it is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. I laughed audibly, which is something I rarely do.

      • It actually took me a minute to read that right, I didn’t get it was meant to be you or Riese talking and was thinking “Freddie has a cervix?! This IS a progressive show!”

  9. If I had watched this alone, in the middle of the night (which is when I usually have the time to watch TV), I would have cried my heart out. Daylight and snarky remarks has a tendency to ruin the mood, but I still loved/hated it.
    One of the things that got me genuinely upset is that Emily no longer looks like Emily the Strange (the cartoon character).
    I hope they give Effy a bit more of a story line than being in love with pretty-boy. Remember season one? When Effy didn’t speak? Awesome. She’s screwed up. Please don’t fix her.

  10. Well. I’m all up in akimbo over this. I was SO invested in their relationship last season, and I suppose I just kind of didn’t believe them as a couple this episode,from the cute garibaldi scene until the roof scene, which was incredible. I don’ know why, maybe there just wasn’t enough longing, or smiling. Hardly any smiling. boo. Or kissing. I want them to get back together, and Naomi should have to grovel for ages and ages and do all the cooking and buy flowers et etc. (Erm have you seen next episode trailer? COOK??!!!)

    p.s. The gay guy in the salon is an weird, brilliant and unnecessary cameo for us in Britain, H from Steps.(pop band circa umm 1997)

    p.p.s love the fitch fam

    p.p.p.s Sophia wouldn’t have got into that uni anyway, cos it was Goldsmiths, an they defs don’t take girls with massive triangle perms and emo drawing books

  11. Great great recap. It was a monumental effort to stifle massive laughter at the bracelet/cervix remark.

    I have to side with Crystal with this one, I enjoy the Naomily storyline immensely, but I really struggled to invest in them in this ep. Maybe it’s Naomi’s new haircut, or maybe Emily had a point when she said that Naomi’s always scared. She’s right, like get a new fatal character flaw already Naomi.

    Things I loved in this ep:
    – Panda dancing
    – Effy walking away and revealing outrageous hotpants
    – The shots of Emily looking up at the end. I think girls look stunning when they’re looking up at stuff. I remember once at uni, a girl that lived opposite me in halls, we were friendly but not close. We’d been chatting at the top of some stairs, she left and went downstairs (not in THAT way), then when she got to the bottom, she called something up at me and I looked down at her upturned face and I thought “Wow, you’re really beautiful” and I hadn’t noticed it before. Of course I didn’t say anything, but I wished then, as I do now, that we all felt free to tell each other we’re beautiful.

    Also, I’m still totally confused by the photo in the uni prospectus. If it was just a random photo someone took, why did they take it (and develop/print it and send it to Sophia) when it had been established that Naomi/Sophia didn’t know anyone else on the open day? Or if it was actually part of the prospectus, there’s no way that a shot taken of them at an open day during the summer would have been in time to get into the prospectus for the next year. I’m usually quite good at suspension of disbelief, but that IRKED me.

    • Yeah, my suspension of disbelief was super-stretched as well. I think we were meant to believe Naomi/Sophia were photographed in summer 2009 and when the books for fall 2010 came out in fall 2009, that photo was already in it. Maybe it’s just a really efficient and up-to-date catalog company?

      • The uni catalogue is for entry in 2010, so it would have come out in 2009 so people can decide whether or not to apply there.

        • Right, we’re just saying that it was awfully quick that Naomi and Sophia *just* went to the Open Day and somehow ended up in the catalog that *just* came out… usually with stuff like that the picture/layout deadline is so early that pics from that summer don’t make it in.

  12. i really love this ep..it was good, but was nearly crying at the end..
    LOVE LILY LOVELESS AND KATHRYN PRESCOTT..they look so good together!!!

  13. I loved this episode. I was looking forward to happy lesbians, but I never expected Skins to bring the love; it’s Skins, they do drama best. I loved how real it was; people cheat, and it’s not out of character for Naomi at all, even though it’s a crying shame. Innocence doesn’t always last, but love can. It’s a normal relationship (as far as it can be for a deliberately exaggerated show) and I think that’s important – to show that there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re just in love. How could you possible think of it as abnormal? Love who you love, you know?

    I don’t think a lot of the dead stalker girl storyline, that’s twice Skins have gone with a stalker story which I think is a tad daft. But hey-ho, you don’t get everything you want.

    Still not enough Katie, though she owned every scene she was in. I think the boyfriend’s an improvement on last series – sweet and trustworthy? Katie’s trying something new there. I actually find the bedroom scene where she asks Emily to stay the most touching of the episode. “I’ll back you up. Emsy, don’t leave me here.” Aww, I get mushy thinking of the twin-bond.

    But the roof scene; oh, my heart. It’s okay, they only broke them up this early so they could spend the rest of series getting them back together. Naomi and Cook doesn’t even work – she fancies girls like seriously! – so I will not allow myself to fret.

    • Aye, I totally agree that it was an early breakup to provide a satisfying reunion later. If they’d have been all happy in this episode, it wouldn’t have boded well. I think that’s why I couldn’t engage as much – I was too cynically detached, thinking about how the whole story arc would pan out.

      I also agree that the stalker storyline is a bit tired, and that the Katie/Emily scene was great, and sewed seeds that we will see some good development of her later.

  14. Naomi probably expected Emily to come by and pick up all her stuff, since she’d moved in and all… therefore reasonable that Naomi put the note on her door.

  15. I think these lines are beyond fabulous. I’ve read and reread them a few times now and I think they are amazingly spot on:

    “But also don’t you feel like you can just sense it sometimes? I don’t think people lie successfully all that often, it’s just a matter of if you’ve decided to operate at an honest level with another human or if you’ve already silently agreed to never know the whole truth about someone. Kids tend to prefer honesty; perhaps it has yet to burn them, they tread less wearily towards it.”

  16. i love emily.

    i love emily’s dad.

    i love “For 1000 pounds she could probably get a LOT of MDMA! Or the Tegan & Sara deluxe set with the ink blots. “

  17. I think I’m with Crystal on this one. As much as I’d love for Naomily to persist, I don’t really care too much for them together- not sure why exactly. Loved the Fiesta though! & Cook next episode looks intense!!

  18. Cook is so gross. Just, ew.

    Epic recap. Really, I only stopped laughing to be occasionally heartbroken. And Riese’s concern about the future of Naomily tumblrs is legit. They need to work it out!

    • *Really* not a fan of the chavs, eh? Or people with food related names… (Cook, Sugar) ;)

      • lol Well-noted.

        Maybe it’s the chav-name combo. It’s like I’m extra annoyed by them for putting bad things in association with one of my favorite things- cooking/food.

  19. This recap is spot on! I watched it last week (and its on again right now!)and I was kinda up n down with it (emotionally wise, yeah I’m a soppy romantic, I know, I really must clean the tint of my glasses!),But I was looking forward to this series to see how they developed their relationship, and the early pre-season trailors had quite a few shots of them together…which of course all appeared in pretty much the first 1/2 hour of this episode…crap I thought, does that mean this is the end for them, already…Nooooo?!! Oh and a side note “god damn ad breaks, just as things were getting good on the cargo nets!”
    I think there is definitley more going on with Naomi, which I guess will gradually reveal itself. Oh and another side note, I love Emiliy’s and Katies younger brother too, he was awesome in the last series and I really hope he has more scenes. Episode 3 will be interesting, roll on Thursday!

    • Ha, I’m also glad they did that with the brother, because it seemed a bit weirdly incestuous when he was spying on the twins in the bathroom and stuff last series. Emily looked totally kickass when she was, well, actually kicking him in the arse.

      • Oh I know, and half the time it did look as though they were actually hitting/kicking the sh*t out of him!! He’s a great little actor, I know its all scripted but its just the way he comes out with things without blinking, cracks me up!!

        • i just love having a randomly cross-dressing brother in it. it’s just such an arbitrary genderplay and it’s not really used how it is in sitcoms as a punchline, it’s just sort of weird and funny and honest. i liked the scenes with her family; they felt very real to me.

  20. This was a really well-written and funny (in a loling way) recap!
    HOWEVER- I think you missed a very hilarious, and I’m pretty sure very intended, reference: when Naoms and Ems split at the party, Naomi says “Stay alive…I WILL find youu!” which is a line from ‘The Last of the Mohicans’. Quite clever (if it was in-fact intended) I think.

  21. You should really read (and hopefully recap) the official Skins novel. It follows the characters during the summer between series 3 and 4. About 60% of the book is centered around Noami and Emily. You get to see Naomily’s relationship develop a bit more. And also might i add the novel is quite explicit and its nice to see what effy was up to during her summer in Italy.

  22. Gosh I love Naomily! I was slightly disappointed at yet another lesbian stalker/suicide/murder storyline, but they pulled it off really well. And Lily Loveless (Naomi) is actually a pretty decent actress huh?

  23. I love the Brit TV, they pump out the most amazing stuff.

    And I have to say, I love the storyboard for Sophia’s journal/story. It was simply lovely, something I’d love to capture in my own art journalling.

  24. ZOETROPE! That’s the picture carousel spinning thing with the 2 girls kissing! It’s an early mode of animation. I got mine as a kid from the Museum of Moving Images in London and it’s great fun.

  25. Is that Naomi Cook is kissing in the next episode. GAH. that girl kills me a little bit. (Call me!)

  26. what the ef?! naomi and cook? didn’t they try that back in the day, and naomi was all like..i like girl! i hope it’s brief, and i hope ‘naomily’ returns/remains for my viewing pleasure.

  27. All the Tegan and Sara references in this recap make me feel like I’ve finally found my people. (If I had Emily’s mum, I just may have taken the 1,000 pounds. [I couldn’t afford an ink blot.])
    Hilarious analysis/commentary.
    Great (and heartbreaking) episode.

  28. -WOW. What a long roundabout way of telling a cheating story.
    -It would have been better if Naomi almost cheated but had the decency, restraint and love not to cheat.
    -Freddie my dear EFFY gave you chlamydia. She is a whore
    -I agree with Crystal about this relationship. Usu I am all for the homoship but I can’t get with them for some reason.
    -Good recap as alway

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