Saturday Morning Cartoons: Straight Bar

Welcome to Saturday Morning Cartoons, a segment where four artists take turns delighting you with their whimsy, facts and punchlines on Saturday mornings! Our esteemed cartoon critters are Cameron GlavinAnna BongiovanniMegan Prazenica and Yao Xiao. Today’s cartoon is by Anna!






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I'm a cartoonist living in Minneapolis. Co-Author and artist of A Quick And Easy Guide To They/Them Pronouns. Author of Grease Bats, coming out Fall 2019 with Boom! Studios! If I'm not working I'm socializing. If I'm not out with friends I'm drawing. If I'm not doing any of those things I'm probably depressed. Support me using Patreon.

Archie has written 117 articles for us.


  1. Hahahaha! for a second I thought the bottom of scout’s rainbow was the bottom of the shirt, and they were having some kind of crop top battle!

    • omg no way would Scout EVER wear a crop top, but also that crop top would be amazing!

  2. “no they’re lying — SEVEN YEARS STRONG” made me laugh out loud in my kitchen.

  3. Omg I went to a mainstream straight club once. It was so exotic. All the men wore the same clothes and all the women had the same haircut and very little clothes. ANNDD when white straight men dance they keep pointin at their crotches. It’s such an an animal mating ritual! Couldn’t stop marveling and laughing.

    • One time I was at a straight club and I had to go to the bathroom and literally everyone in there had long, straight blonde hair, tiny black dresses and stilettos. I felt really out of place.

      • I’ll raise you one:
        I went to the straight club with a bunch of straight friends, but my glasses were broken, and literally at the shop to get fixed.
        Long story short, I struck up random conversation with the girl at the sink next to me, when suddenly my friend who I thought I was talking to the entire time suddenly popped up next to me to wash her hands.
        Everybody was literally wearing the same effing thing!
        Except for me of course, who was wearing a tank top that said “Girls Only”in glitter (the gayest thing I owned at the time) camouflage Army pants(what even..) and running shoes.
        To go clubbing in.
        No one clued me in on that dress code..
        The other time I went to the same straight club with a bunch of gay friends, I ended up getting super drunk and crying over my unrequited crush on my best friend in a bathroom stall.
        I feel like there is a moral in this somewhere..

    • There’s very little more hilarious than how seriously straight white dudes take themselves when they’re dancing terribly haha.

  4. “it will be good for me to get out of my queer bubble” is like the mantra i repeat to myself over and over and over every time i go anywhere terrible, which is mostly everywhere. “this is good! i’m getting culture! mainstream culture! i’m communing with normal people!”

    and totally would be the one saying it was our anniversary to get free drinks

    • I lie about dating my queer friends at straight places all the time. Because people are assuming it anyway.

  5. “If we’re going to this straight club, I’m going to need to look a lot gayer.”

    The struggle is real.

  6. Andy is for sure my crop top role model. I’m getting there, just need more with flagrantly queer mottos.

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