Which Inanimate Object Is Actually Your Gender?

Editor’s note: This quiz originally ran in March, but it was broken! It’s fixed now. Enjoy your gender!

Gender is more than identity words and pronouns — it’s objects! More specifically, gender is a series of exactly seven extremely niche inanimate objects. You probably didn’t learn this in your Gender Studies class, and that’s because I made it up. Answer these questions to determine, once and for all, which object best fits your vibe.

Which Inanimate Object Is Actually Your Gender?

Gender is a spectrum ... of inanimate objects.

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Ro White

Ro White is a Chicago-based writer and sex educator. Follow Ro on Twitter.

Ro has written 105 articles for us.

27 Comments

    • I came here to write almost this exact same set of words regarding a bucket hat and my childhood!

      I slept in it. And bathed in it. For three years.

      It was denim and had flowers glued to the brim by my grandmother, who knew what was what

      Reply to This Comment

  4. Wow, that was unexpectedly intense! I got the Void first, and was like huh, really? But then I took it again and got Roadside Doll Head, and decided nope nope nope, I am the Void, I hope I’m at least related to Janet’s Void, and thus my gender is limitless.

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  5. Roadside doll head is 100% accurate this quiz can replace years of therapy* and also explains my obsession with collections old broken dolls from roadside** locations

    *do not try this at home
    **ebay

    Reply to This Comment

    • It took a second to realize that I had clicked the ad at the bottom and not the submit button. I thought a 2021 Honda Accord from Autotrader was a VERY specific answer to this quiz!
      But no, I’m arugula

      Reply to This Comment

  9. I did not expect the results of this to actually be accurate??? but yes some people like me a LOT and some do not like me and I do enjoy being the center of attention

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  10. The Arugula in Tilda’s Teeth description I received is eerily accurate.

    10/10 would recommend this quiz as a replacement for all gender-gatekeeping activities, medical, community-based, and otherwise. Looking forward to participating in arugula-only support groups.

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  11. The last test I took on this site revealed I am Anne Lister’s boots. Now my gender is “a tiny piece of arugula stuck between Tilda Swinton’s teeth”. I can see where this is coming from but I am starting to feel slightly concerned.

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  12. I was kind of grossed out to get arugula stuck in Tulsa Swinton’s teeth but the description is pretty spot on.

    “Lucky you! You’re well-situated and elusive. You don’t always let your true self shine, but when you do, strangers can’t help but notice.”

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  21. I was lucky enough to take this back in March when it was posted and just took it again – both times got Bucket Hat. I’m lucky to say that even if my gender expression is ever-shifting, I’m still a constant. (The only constant thing in life is change anyways)

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