Quiz: Which Lesbian Cleaning Tool Are You?

Help! A witch placed a curse on me that forces me to write a sapphic personality quiz that doesn’t really make sense every Sunday! I was just trying to go on my nightly eerie bog walk, and the next thing I knew, a bog hag emerged and declared I must become beholden to the unique powers of the lesbian personality quiz. Does anyone know any tips or tricks for reversing elaborate curses? I’ll take all the advice I can get!

Which Lesbian Cleaning Tool Are You?

Pick your poison:(Required)
Pick a spell:(Required)
If you were a witch, where would you live?(Required)
What magical being would you most want to be friends with?(Required)
Pick a Brothers Grimm tale:(Required)
What best describes what you dreamed of last night?(Required)
What are you like to live with?(Required)
Pick a familiar:(Required)
What’s something people admire about you?(Required)
Which of the following do you respect the most?(Required)
How do you think your exes would describe you?(Required)
How would you describe your best friend?(Required)
What mystical ability are you most interested in?(Required)

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, fiction, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the former managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, The Rumpus, Cake Zine, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. When she is not writing, editing, or reading, she is probably playing tennis. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 1074 articles for us.

14 Comments

    • I had the perfect curse reversing solution but then I decided to withhold the information as revenge for being called a toilet brush. 💅 Good luck with your curse!!!

      Reply to This Comment

    • as a ms. clean magic eraser, allow me to
      ~*~erase!~*~
      not just reverse
      this curse
      for you!!!

      in order to
      rid you of
      the bog hag’s gag,
      you must do
      what is true!
      – when you view into
      a magic mirror
      what appears?
      – a clue!
      a “what to do”
      a choice to choose
      a query to peruse –
      who should
      clear your eerie path?
      who could hold
      the bog hag’s silly wrath?
      – if not you
      then who?!
      – break a bowl
      and you will know
      the name of the next
      sapphic sunday post host!

      Reply to This Comment

    • Oh, it’s simple really. Just find a cleric able to kast 3rd level spells and complete a quest for them so they might cast Remove Curse on you. They might ask you to slay a dragon or some such, but other than that, it’s quite easy!

      Reply to This Comment

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