Playlist: Slow Skate Night

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When I was a kid growing up in New Jersey, my friends and I had a lot of birthday parties at the Florham Park Roller Rink. We’d clunk around in our rented skates, sipping on Slush Puppies and awkwardly trying to recreate the moves of Olympic figure skaters (I was probably more of a Tonya than a Nancy). As an adult, I figure this experience can only be improved upon. I haven’t skated in years and I’ve never actually been to a roller disco, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t already thought about what color spandex I’d wear, what kind of lighting I would require and who I would select for Ladies’ Choice. In my mind’s eye, I would be very graceful. In reality, I would probably crash into a lot of walls, Wile E. Coyote style.

This playlist is actually a streamlined version of a set I DJed at a cool queer bar in Brooklyn called Happyfun Hideaway last year, only that time I played “Truly Madly Deeply” three times in a row and they curiously haven’t invited me back since.

Playlist: Slow Skate Night


I’m Your Baby Tonight – Whitney Houston
Real Love – Mary J Blige
If You Leave – Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
True Faith – New Order
Begin Again – Purity Ring
Girl Panic! – Duran Duran
Some Things Never Seem To Fucking Work – Solange
Too Close – Next
Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden
Secret – Madonna
Masquerade – Berlin
Shiver and Shake – The Cure
Voices Carry – Til Tuesday
Every Time I Close My Eyes – Babyface w/ Mariah Carey
You’re Still The One – Shania Twain
Edge of a Broken Heart – Vixen
Just Like A Pill – P!nk
Obsession – Animotion
Bulbform – Trust
Temptation – Heaven 17
Do You Remember The First Time? – Pulp
Goodbye Seventies – Yaz
Boy – Book of Love
Sex Dwarf – Soft Cell
The Men All Pause – Klymaxx
I Wonder If I Take You Home – Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam
Baptism – Crystal Castles
Don’t Dance With Strangers – Annabella Lwin
Shine On – House of Love
I Heard A Rumour – Bananrama
Fix – theSTART
All Mine – Portishead
Not In Love – Crystal Castles w/ Robert Smith
Take A Bow – Madonna

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Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 464 articles for us.


  1. A few personal additions

    Creep- TLC (questionable theme but the beat bump)

    Genie In A Bottle- Xtina

    More Than A Woman- Aaliyah

    Candy- Mandy Moore

    Bump Bump Bump- B2k

    Can’t Fight the Moonlight- LeAnn Rimes

    And if you wanna get real grown and sexy

    Lovers & Friends- Usher and Co.

    Differences- Ginuwine

    All the Things Your Man Won’t Do- Joe

    *Your Mary J addition makes me wanna find a pair of knee high skates and pull out my drunk-auntie-at-the-cookout moves

  2. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. But also sadly, I can’t open this playlist in Spotify! :( (I also searched in Spotify and it doesn’t show up in your public playlists, FYI.)

  3. My skates were dark blue with yellow wheels and laces, Crayola palette circa ages 8-10 or so? We had a long steep blacktop driveway and the tree roots under it made a little jump ramp half-way down; that was our skating rink. Learning to brake with the toe bumper = universal early childhood act of bravery. So many skinned knees; no regrets. Thanks for the nostalgia!

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