NSFW Sunday Is Into Impact Play

Feature of April Flores and Milcah Halili in Crash Pad episode 234. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are courtesy of the Crash Pad Series. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Cinnamon Maxxine’s Solo in Crash Pad Series episode 184

+ Kinkly has a comprehensive guide to impact play (which is where someone hits someone consensually), including safety, what you can use it for, how you can do it, what you can do it with and more. Here’s what Kayla Lords writes about how to spank:

“If you’re new to spanking, start with your hand. Rub your partner’s bottom. This sends a signal to them that you’re about to begin. And, in my experience, a gentle touch reminds your partner that you’re doing this in a willing or even loving way.

Pull back and bring your palm down on their butt. Pick a cheek, any cheek. You don’t want to start out hitting them as hard as you can. One, your hand will get tired more quickly. Two, it may be too much for your partner, and they’ll end things with a safeword sooner than either of you would like. Start slow. Alternate where your hand lands. As their skin begins to turn pink, you might want to pick up speed or intensity.”

Joan and Vai

Joan and Vai in Crash Pad episode 106

+ Ask these questions if you have more privilege than a partner:

“If you’re a person with power and self-certainty, it’s important that you notice when your partner withdraws, when they’re pretending they have no feelings or needs because they may be de-emphasizing their needs in order to create more room for yours.

Your partner shouldn’t have to disrupt racism and sexism alone, even if you don’t think you’re perpetuating either.

Society perpetuates them, and unless you listen to and back up your partner, your partner will be put through pain that will ultimately consume your relationship.”

J-Bird and Rose Waters in Crash Pad episode 118

+ These zodiac signs should absolutely not date.

+ “Tyrannosaurus rex was a sensitive lover, new dinosaur discovery suggests.”

+ Parents are upset that sex education might mention what sex is.

+ Gay BFF is a new app for meeting other gay people but not necessarily having sex with them, allegedly.

+ You should probably talk about money in your relationship. Especially if you want to think through gendered expectations around money.

+ Being sex positive doesn’t mean you’re having lots of sex.

+ It’s hard to date when you have anxiety or depression.

+ Why not keep an elaborate bdsm-themed dollhouse?

+ A recent ruling in a chid custody case in New York legally recognized a polyamorous relationship (but people are still bad at talking about it).

April Flores and Milcah Halili in Crash Pad episode 234

+ Double-ended dildos can really suck. After comprehensive testing, Epiphora (with Aerie) explains why:

“Strapless strap-on dildos must satisfy two finicky humans rather than just one. This makes them even more individualized and difficult to recommend. Questions to ponder: what sort of shape and angle does the wearer want? The receiver? Do you want vibrations? Will you be attempting to use it without a harness (I wish you luck)? Do you have a strong opinion about the finish on your silicone (I prefer glossy, Aerie does not)? The squish factor?

This is a lot of questions, my friends. This is a lot of ways for things to go awry. This is the type of sex toy that could very well end up in the bottom drawer, an optimistic purchase with disappointing results.”

Cinnamon Maxxine and Indigo Bleu making out on a bed

Cinnamon Maxxine and Indigo Bleu in Crash Pad Series episode 97


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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

21 Comments

  1. Scorpio (October 23-November 21)
    Don’t date: Gemini (May 21-June 20)

    Though you’re hopelessly attracted to Gemini’s mercurial style, the inability to pin them down (or make them commit!) will bring out your absolute worst. Gemini’s erratic communication patterns will leave you obsessively checking your phone and their unrepentant flirting will turn you into a raving, jealous lunatic.

    story checks out.

  2. FWIW, we happily use a double-ended dildo (Feeldoe More). It is on the stiffer side and fairly large. I use the small end without a harness, but it does fall out if I move my legs too far apart.

  3. Ooh good article re sex positivity. The topic was more about having sex or not but this quote was great: “We don’t all have the same choices, and our sexual freedom varies according to age, gender, race, ethnicity, income, and ability,” she says. “Sex positivity embraces the freedom to choose [what we do], but we also have to consider how oppressive structures limit this freedom.” That was brief but something I find isn’t talked about enough in terms of sex and choice, so it was good to see it mentioned.

  4. Hey, just wanted to let the mods know (although I’m not sure if this is the best route or if someone already has) that the review of Epiphora’s linked to at the end is actually about strapless/wearer-insertable strap-on dildos, /not/ double-ended dildos!

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