NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Getting Virtually Real

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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

+ “A distinct form of sexual expression accompanies each new generation of media technology. Each new form of pornographic expression has been symbolically represented by a defining female sex symbol; as VR porn takes shape, its symbol may well be Ela Darling.” In a profile at Alternet, Darling discusses venturing into VR, the good and bad of working in porn, and more:

“‘I think VR porn has the capacity to bring an entirely new side of porn to the masses […] Porn is my livelihood, it’s my everything,’ she gushes, ‘so when I come across emerging technologies I see it through the lens of porn.’ […] She was drawn to VR because, as she says, ‘you’re just immersed in it. There are no distractions, you’re just in it. It’s awesome.'”

You can also check out Autostraddle’s interview with Darling from last year.

+ A new study on bisexual women’s best sexual experiences reveals that women’s sexual satisfaction is complicated, duh:

” We found women’s accounts mapped on to four elements: emotional attunement, emotional gratification, partner gratification, and sensory gratification. Relational and emotional dynamics, including emotional security, quality of interpersonal interaction during and after a sexual encounter, mutuality, intimacy, partner skill, novelty, and communication, were key to participants’ best sex experiences. Our findings support a multifaceted model of women’s sexual satisfaction that accounts for emotional, relational, and embodied experiences and the diverse relationships and behaviors these might involve.

+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Kino discusses edging, or “stopping stimulation near the ‘edge’ of orgasm repeatedly to extend sexual pleasure,” and notes that “edging can be a really fun and intense way to enrich your sex life without stepping too far out of your comfort zone.”

+ This sampling of vibrators through the twentieth century will make you glad it’s 2016.

+ But this vibrator collects your data and sends it back to the manufacturer, so some of those older vibrators are looking pretty hot right now.

+ Moving out after a break up? Breathe, konmari, make your new space yours.

+ People who get more sleep are happier with their relationships, according to a study of married couples published in the Journal of Psychology.

+ The intersection of sex and depression is common but not often discussed. JoEllen Notte informally interviewed 1,300 people about sex, depression and relationships, and at Vice she discusses what she learned:

“I’m on a mission to dismantle the adversarial approach to depression in loved ones that society has accepted as right for so long. Many of our respondents talked about resentment and tension between partners when one was dealing with depression and the other didn’t understand it. I have written, and the interviews have confirmed, that when one partner is dealing with depression, one of the best things a couple can do is get on the same page, become a team. Otherwise the dynamic becomes ‘healthy partner’ vs. ‘depressed partner and their depression,’ which is frustrating, counter-productive and, frankly, kind of mean. No one wants depression as their teammate! At Woodhull, we’ll be talking about tools and strategies for making sure partners are on the same team, speaking the same language, and both getting the support they need.”

+ The more altruistic you are, the more sexual partners you have, according to a new study based on self-reported data:

“For the study, 192 women and 105 men answered a survey about their altruistic habits, which included how often they donated blood, gave to charities, and helped out their neighbors. They then self-reported on their sexual histories. In comparing the participants’ responses and their sex lives, researchers found that people who scored higher on the altruism survey were likely to have had more sexual partners.”

uye surana lingerie via the lingerie addict

uye surana lingerie via the lingerie addict

+ Stagnant sex life? Things like watching porn, trying sexting, trying different foreplay, and try scheduling sex:

“Everyone has to stomach their share of unwanted responsibilities. Demanding jobs, children and big bills require people to bend their schedules—most often in ways that don’t exactly cater to sex. When that happens, it might be time to revamp the routine. According to a survey of nearly 80,000 participants, nearly half said they scheduled date nights for sex. Sex therapist Rachel Needle of Florida’s Whole Health Psychological Centre told Yahoo News, “Make a point to schedule intimacy. Some couples complain that scheduling sex makes it less exciting, but it certainly doesn’t have to be.” As the sexperts say, scheduling sex may not seem like the sexiest activity around, but sometimes spontaneity doesn’t work out. Carving out a time to get horizontal gives couples an opportunity to really think about the sex they want to have. And anticipation can be half the fun.”

+ Are you queer and poly? A new Autostraddle series will explore how queer polyamory functions, how it feels, what it looks like and more. Tell me about your life and you might be featured!

Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1088 articles for us.

4 Comments

  1. I’m queer and not-really poly, but interested and maybe poly kinda I don’t know? So I don’t have anything to contribute but I”m SUPER excited about this queer poly Autostraddle thing that will be happening sometime in the future!!

    • If you’re interested in learning about polyamory and non-monogamous styles, read “The Ethical Slut” if you haven’t already, and check out Kimchi Cuddles comic strip!

  2. Thanks for the article about moving out. It was a bit emotional to read but I think will be valuable for me :)

    I answered the questions about poly relationships but I feel like things change and morph and grow every minute so maybe it’s not accurate anymore! Excited to hear more about that project though.

  3. I love to tease sexually, which is a sort of edging I guess. But I am not mean, she always knows she will get what she wants in the end, and it is always nice teasing.
    Like she will be working on some project, and I might come over and brush against her “accidentally”, and then apologize while touching her. Then maybe put my face close behind her neck by her ear and pretend to look at what she is working on. So now she is getting the drift…..and the game is on!!

    But some people hate teasing because of past abuse of being teased maliciously. So be careful.

    The only porn that really touches me would be girl to girl sex between two average females who are really having fun with each other. That is, sex that I have never seen yet except with Crashpad !

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