NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Knows the Real Problem With Keto Crotch

Feature image of Scout and Lew Pine in Crash Pad Series episode 227. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexuaal orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Erykah Ohms and Tina Horn making out against a wooden headboard

Erykah Ohms and Tina Horn in Crash Pad Series episode 262

Sometimes you live together, break up, and have to keep living together. Here are some tips, including exploring a few more options for leaving, expect it will suck, don’t sleep together in the sense of being unconscious or in the sense of fucking, don’t continue to rehash the breakup over and over, and set a date to move out.

Emperatrix and Nicki Honey kneeling over each other on a bed in a collar

Emperatrix and Nicki Honey in Crash Pad Series episode 260

It’s okay if vaginal penetration during sex hurts sometimes.

“It’s just a bunch of nerds having supper.” At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Kelly Bastow writes about going to a BDSM munch, where basically you eat food and talk not necessarily about kink, for the first time.

Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d doing a half-naked spanking scene

Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d in Crash Pad Series episode 265

If you and everyone you’re having sex with have vaginas, you can still use cock rings:

“[V]ibrating cock rings can be enjoyed by all genders, orientations, and bodies — even though they’re mostly advertised toward cishet men. As I learned, they can enhance sex between two people with vaginas. The Tor 2 slid over my silicone strap-on with ease and definitely heightened our experience. Honestly, it could even work alone as a vibrator. Plus, the ring is waterproof, so you can get it wet or use it in the bath or shower.”

The whole “keto crotch” thing, where people — specifically who have vaginas — smell a certain way if they’re on keto, is — surprise! — rooted in misogyny and not in science according to gynaecologist Dr. Jen Gunter, who you might remember as the woman who also writes about not putting jade eggs or wasps’ nests into vaginas:

“The plethora of articles about supposed vaginal odors from food are misogyny (blatant or internalized), represent zero understanding of vaginal physiology, or both. If there were equal number of think pieces devoted to scrotum stank and anus aroma, I’d accept the Internet likes to obsess over intimate places and that false genital panics are an equal opportunity offense.

However, the lack of articles about the way a penis, scrotum, or rectum might smell depending on diet, weather, or underwear/jockstrap leads to only two possible conclusions: everyone thinks smegma has floral and pine notes and behind the scrotum is a pleasing mix of anise and musk OR these articles exist because it is only vaginal panic sells copy.”

 Chip and Tastee Treasures making out mostly naked on a bed

Chocolate Chip and Tastee Treasures in Crash Pad Series episode 182

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 935 articles for us.

5 Comments

  1. Re: Keto Crotch, I must be living in an alternate reality where women’s bodily fluids aren’t overly-policed! The only thing I knew until today is that animal rights activists claim that being vegan makes semen taste better/sweeter. I assumed the Keto headlines were about that, and didn’t click because dietary influence on semen flavor isn’t particularly relevant to my lifestyle.

  2. I dunno, my vagina-having partner and I have been doing Keto for like 9 months and I have noticed some…differences down there, for me at least (tmi: boo still smells and tastes great – and doesn’t seem to notice me being any different, which is nice). Mainly like a LOT more discharge a LOT more of the time than before I started this diet.

    Which is all to say, I appreciate the Dr and Autostraddle for calling out blatant misogyny of focusing only on what the diet might or might not do to the sex-worthiness of vagina-havers bodies, but also I have found it hard to find resources for myself to figure out whether I’m imagining this all or if this is normal!! If anyone else on Keto has experienced this, consider yourself validated.

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