NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Watching Porn With Partners

Feature image of Maxine Azula and Mistress Lita Lecherous in Crash Pad episode 284. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Here’s how to watch porn with a partner for the first time, and also why:

“Porn can be a tricky subject. It might feel weird to think about who or what your partner jerks off to, or what your partner would think about the stuff that turns you on, but porn can also make for a rad shared activity. The point of watching porn together isn’t to make comparisons or copy exactly what you see on screen, but to find a helpful jumping-off point for conversations about what you each like or want to test out in bed. Watching porn together gives both partners a clear visual you can point to and say, “I like THAT.” On a more basic level, porn can also help you get in the mood when you’re not feeling your sexiest (like after a day of sitting indoors). It can also just be hot with no additional caveat, which is more than enough reason to try it.”

Maxine Azula and Mistress Lita Lecherous

Maxine Azula and Mistress Lita Lecherous in Crash Pad episode 284

[F]eelings for a romanticized past are no substitute for the present.”

The “race to build the iPod of haptics” absolutely includes teledildonics, but investors remain wary, as Shruti Ravindran writes at the Believer:

“Today, if there is a distinct paucity of gear for a fun weekend of long-distance sex, it’s because nobody in Silicon Valley, or the research institutions that feed it, is keen to fund such ventures. ‘If you go through everything submitted to the World Haptics Conference, you’ll never find a cybersex paper in there,’ says Parisi. In his fifteen years of research in the field, he says, he’s witnessed strenuous amounts of ‘boundary policing.’ ‘I find it interesting, exciting, to talk about cybersex, and I can do it in a sober way,’ he says. ‘But it has this way of sucking all the air in the room.'”

Cinnamon Maxxine and Golden Curlz

Cinnamon Maxxine and Golden Curlz in Crash Pad Series episode 206

Coronavirus relationship struggles are for everyone.

Is “the law of attraction” real?

The best age to get divorced is before you have kids or before you have money.

“I’m sorry to those who cling to meaningless utterances like ‘I’m an INTJ’ or ‘The thing about me is that I’m such a Virgo’—it’s tough to face the truth that you’ve been suckered, I know—but luckily I am here to replace all of those false systems with the truth. The one (real) weird trick to figuring out if and how you are compatible with another person: Is 9 p.m. early or is it late?,” an indisputable and indispensable new theory of compatibility.

Apparently “coronalingus,” a word I refuse to use without scare quotes, is what some folks are calling sex during corona-induced social distancing (but also, can we not). Here’s how safe it is:

“It depends on your circumstance, but there is a measure of risk involved, explains Nan Wise, PhD, sex therapist, neuroscientist, and the author of Why Good Sex Matters. It’s pretty difficult to engage in coronalingus, cunnalingus, or any other linguses in between without getting within six feet of another person. ‘And it’s not realistic to think people are going to wear masks through love making,’ Wise says. (She’d be surprised.)

‘I wouldn’t say [sex during COVI-19] is completely safe,’ as Erica Smith, M.Ed., a sexuality educator in Philadelphia. “If you’re going to have sex during the pandemic, think about the following: does my partner or partners take precautions against COVID in their lives, including mask wearing, hand washing, and social distancing? How many people do they live with and are they exposed to? Have they traveled to an area with high infection rates lately?'”

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Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1120 articles for us.

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