NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Scheduling Sex

Feature image of Golden Curlz and Vivienne Vai in Crash Pad Series episode 273. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Finn McKee and Scout in Crash Pad Series episode 267

If you have PTSD from sexual abuse, oral sex can be a trigger. At Allure, sex therapist Vanessa Marin writes about what to do if you’re not comfortable with oral sex and want to be:

” I would try breaking it down into a series of really small baby steps and explaining these steps to your partner. Let them know not to do anything unless you explicitly tell them to do so. Give yourself the time and patience to get comfortable with each step. Have your partner start by kissing you, then move their head down your neck an inch and stop there. Focus on keeping your breath even and calm and reminding yourself that you’re safe and in control.

Keep saying to yourself, ‘I can stop this at any time. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do.’ If and when you feel ready, tell your partner to move down another inch, and focus on your breath and safety again.”

Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279

Get a pre-nup.

Here’s what it’s like to tell your mom that you’re a sex blogger.

It can feel uncomfortable or awkward to have necessary conversations with partners about, for instance, how often you want to have sex or how you plan to do it safely, or period sex. Here are some approaches you can try.

Planned Parenthood has a sex ed chatbot named Roo who can answer questions from teens or anyone about sexual health, relationships, bodies and more.

Here’s what asexual romantic lives can be like.

Here’s what a Yellowknife sex club is like.

Lindsay Cin and Valentine in Crash Pad Series episode 276

The best thing about this grid of 36 peoples’ pubic hair is learning that reproductions of stamps that aren’t from the post office are called Cinderellas:

“Let’s start with what this image definitely is: It’s an 8 by 12 inch sheet of stamps, carefully perforated. It’s a sheet of stamps made from one photograph, which is of 36 photographs of vulvas, each in their own frame and arranged in a grid (there are captions for each one, but they are too blurry to read). The grid corresponds to the perforations of the stamps. The term for a reproduction of stamps that isn’t issued by the post office is a Cinderella. Smith finds this to be fascinating in relation to the mons pubis. ‘The tale of Cinderella makes a story out of the way women are encouraged to obsess over details of their anatomy — the dainty foot that will fit the glass slipper and reveal its owner as a princess. The images in these stamps aren’t organized in any discernible way; their collective effect is to show that women are various, and that any canon or standard for how they “should” be will fall short of the facts.'”

Chocolate Chip and Emperatrix in Crash Pad Series episode 278

Scheduled sex doesn’t have to be boring:

“Don’t go into your sex date with a specific goal, like, ‘tonight we are going to have amazing anal sex,’ because that can lead to performance anxiety or feelings of work and obligation, Dr. Chavez says. ‘I would suggest having a setting in mind and intention around connection and play with a partner,’ she says. Maybe you go in with the broad aim to explore new territories, for example. ‘Focus more on making time together that is free of distractions, stress, and other barriers, so you can be more receptive to pleasure with your partner,’ she says.”

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 939 articles for us.

6 Comments

  1. Love the item on oral sex as a survivor. Could you do one on the issues facing survivors of IBSA (image based sexual abuse) as a survivor of this in an abusive same sex relationship the feelings you get when someone wants to take a picture on their smart phone and do not understand your reluctance/discomfort at this. I get tired of having to come out about this and see either pity or horror as you are judged, I do CJS (criminal justice system) workshops & talks on this to try an get people to understand that this is another form of abuse, it is not voluntary you do not do this happily and willingly in a D.A (domestic abuse) relationship or if they are shared after a relationship breakdown where they are used to hurt you after sharing intimate moments with a partner. IBSA is not discussed enough it is seen a male form of abuse but it does happen in lesbian relationships too.
    Thanks for taking the time to read this, should you decide not to cover this perhaps you could share it so that others in your office or friends may gain an understanding.
    Diana James Police I.A.

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