NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Nothing If Not Consistent

Feature image of Bear and Tree in Crash Pad Series episode 282. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexuaal orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

two femmes with witch vibes, one lying on the bed in a purple mesh bodysuit and transparent purple collar with a leg up, and one leaning over her with a hand resting on her shoulder and a length of rope ready for use draped over her neck

La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 281

Stop obsessing over what your ex is up to now:

“[C]reeping on your ex only makes it more difficult to get over them. Remember that you broke up for a reason. Go through the list of reasons that point to why you should no longer be together, and remember that every time you check in on them, you’re making it harder for yourself to get over someone who isn’t good for you.

Also remember that you are human and will likely find yourself on your ex’s profile throughout the process of trying to stop—that’s okay.”

Just in case your ex is obsessing over what you’re up to now, why not try (looking like you’re) thriving. For a more intense and probably emotionally healthier intervention, try a cord-cutting ritual.

Bambi Belle and Denali Winter in Crash Pad Series episode 280

Sex online is becoming thinner, straighter, whiter.”

Here are some sex songs by zodiac sign.

At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen discusses anal anatomy.

Here are a few ways to tell if your doctor is anti-choice.

Selphie Labrys and Tessa Wreck’d in Crash Pad Series episode 265

At Paper, here are six approaches to ethical non-monogamy. Solo polyamorist Parnia Nyx says:

“Parnia doesn’t find every aspect of polyamory to be as ideal as her own personal experiences. As a woman of color, she’s particularly tuned into the racial blind spots present in many media representations of non-monogamy. Lamenting that mainstream representation of non-monogamy tends to center around white people, she says, ‘White people have also Columbus-ed polyamory to be a revolutionary tool, claiming it to be political, yet centering it around sex,’ continuing on to cite the fact that many non-European cultures have practiced some sort of polyamory far before colonization. ‘We’re living in such a racist and white supremacist environment that has taught people of color to hate themselves and each other,’ Parnia concludes. ‘We are villainized, exotified, marginalized, exploited, sexualized, disenfranchised, and victims of hateful violence. Polyamory for people of color is a reteaching and decolonization of love — a reclaiming of polyamorous practices. Now that’s a political weapon.'”

Mona Wales and Natalie Chen in Crash Pad Series episode 271

What does it mean to show up in a relationship? Be around, be present, be emotionally supportive, be able to “see” your partner(s), and be consistent:

“Showing up means showing up a lot. You need to do it pretty much all the time, or at least most of the time, without fail. You don’t need a study to tell you that if you say you’ll do something, and you don’t do it, and that’s a recurring thing, you are not emotionally supportive. Showing up means doing what you’ll say you’ll do, and not flaking. Coming up with a bunch of excuses every time you fail to do what you say you’ll do is also a form of flaking.

The reason? People need to feel your consistent, reliable presence, and the simplest, most effective way to do this is to just do what you say.”

Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 964 articles for us.

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