NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Not Overthinking It

Feature image of Izel the Alpha and Puppy Chulo in Crash Pad Series episode 289. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Maggie McMuffin and Tender Furiosa

Maggie McMuffin and Tender Furiosa in Crash Pad Series episode 295

Want to use dating apps to actually… date? Have some actual specific interests in your bio, don’t talk forever before meeting up, think of the first date as more of an interview or predate, if you have nice time then just say you had a nice time without overthinking it, and if you didn’t (or they didn’t and ghost without saying anything) and if you didn’t then let it go, Eliza Dumais writes:

“[S]taying focused and present is often the secret when it comes to making connections — and something as simple as reminding yourself of your breath can make all the difference when your brain is off on a hamster wheel tangent, deterring you from making casual conversation with the person opposite you.

“For clients who are especially nervous about app dates,” Kaufman continues, “I remind them that they don’t actually need to think of this like a date. It’s really more of a job interview. This is the predate — it’s when you’re vetting a person to see if you’d actually like to see them again in a romantic capacity.””

Jacquie Blu and Valerie Paige

Jacquie Blu and Valerie Paige in Crash Pad Series episode 294

Libra season is for flirting.

Here are some sex toys for trans women and nonbinary people.

Here’s an explanation of what sex smells like.

At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen wrote about intense mental health stuff and rediscovering a body that feels different now and the Magic Wand.

It’s fine if you date someone with the same name as an ex. Tbh I know several configurations of people who have dated people with the same names they have or who are nonmonogamous and have multiple partners with the same name (shout-out to my one of my metamours); there are only so many gayish names, you know?

Sex work is increasingly adopted as an aesthetic by non-sex-worker folks trying to cultivate their personal platforms without acknowledging the actual challenges sex workers face, which as Sophia Barrett-Ibarria writes at Nylon is hugely appropriative:

“Like “lesbian chic” in the ’90s, some non-sex working millennial women are adopting sex work as an edgy aesthetic, because being a sex worker—or rather, looking like one—is cool. “I can definitely see the trend,” Caitlin said. […]

To someone unfamiliar with sex work, and the constant existential threats sex workers face, being a sex worker might seem like being part of an aspirational cool-girls’ club. “Everything cool gets co-opted, and whores have always been the coolest people in the room,” said Jacq the Stripper. Strippers working the pole or posing with stacks of cash on Instagram look cool, because strippers are cool, but co-opting sex work as a personal brand without actually being one isn’t. “If you take our rhetoric, our style, and our organizing strategies without showing us actual support—and, yes, I mean money—you are part of the problem.””

Cinnamon Maxxine and Kissy Burgundy

Cinnamon Maxxine and Kissy Burgundy in Crash Pad Series episode 288

Honestly surprised that this piece about separation anxiety is not about when your human puts you in the kitchen so you don’t pee everywhere while they’re out so you stress-eat the grout from between all the floor tiles, not that anyone in my household has ever done that, and instead is about when you, a human yourself, have to spend some new time apart from someone you’re used to being around and have anxiety about it. It used to apply just to kids (and pets), but in the past decade has expanded to include adults, such as those moving away from home for the first time or newly in long-distance relationships. If that might be you, Molly Longman at Refinery 29 writes about what you can try:

“Angelosante says the most common way to treat it is to gradually expose yourself to the distance between you and your loved one. Start small, with an overnight, then separate for a little longer each time you leave home. ‘It’s generally good to expose people to the thing they’re scared of in a slow, controlled way,’ Angelosante says. However, when it comes to big moves for work or college, that’s not always possible.

In that case, Angelosante says it can be helpful to keep small reminders of your loved one around you so that you know they’re not going anywhere. … However, she adds that you shouldn’t get too attached to this item, in case you lose it.”

Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 1025 articles for us.

6 Comments

  1. I’d be really interested in hearing more examples of the appropriation of sex worker aesthetics. I’m somewhat familiar with the rise of pole dancing classes and the problems with how people like to distance that from its origins, but I think maybe I’m just not on Instagram enough to have an idea of what else the author is referring to. Is it particular styles of clothing or staging of photos?

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