“If you had told me that in 2025 we’d be living in a world where the lesbian queen of gay pop herself, JoJo Siwa, would be living in the Big Brother house, questioning her sexuality because of Jesy Nelson’s ex-boyfriend Chris Hughes from Love Island, I would not believe you,” said Max Balegde on TikTok last week, before eventually noting, “Have we lost the plot? I fear the plot has been lost. JoJo See-Ya to my lesbianism! What’s happening? We’ve lost the plot.”
Whether we’ve lost it or not, one thing is for sure: the plot has been difficult to follow — difficult enough that I’ve received several reader requests to break it all down for you. I didn’t watch Celebrity Big Brother UK, but I have seen enough clips and listened to enough podcasts while chopping vegetables and staring into the middle distance to speak on the topic with absolute authority.
JoJo Siwa’s Celebrity Big Brother UK Experience Was Life-Changing and Inspired Much Discourse
JoJo Siwa, erstwhile lesbian and former hair bow enthusiast, recently spent 20 days inside the Celebrity Big Brother UK house, an experience which began with her pushing back really impressively against Mickey Rourke’s repulsive homophobia. Following Mickey’s exit, the discourse shifted towards a new plotline developing for JoJo: her “soulmate” best friendship with 32-year-old former Love Island contestant Chris Hughes. The pair were together frequently, and often physically affectionate — they apparently shared a bed, did some back scratches and massages, and laid around on top of each other, like sea lions. Although JoJo identified as a lesbian at the time, many speculated that this behavior might violate the terms of Siwa’s relationship with Australian influencer / dj /actor Kath Ebbs.
But before we get too deep into that lore, let’s first address another big move Siwa made in the house.
JoJo Siwa Is Dropping The L(esbian) and Going Queer
On April 15th, early in her run on Celebrity Big Brother, Siwa had expressed that she’s been feeling more fluid about her gender, saying that she often feels like a woman, but also relates a lot to the way her non-binary friends talk about their gender, and is comfortable with any pronouns.
Then, during an April 22 livestream, right in the thick of Lesbian Visibility Week, JoJo Siwa told RuPauls’ Drag Race U.K winner Danny Beard that she felt her sexual orientation was shifting, too. “I think I’ve always told myself I’m a lesbian,” she explained, “But I think being here, I’ve realized, Oh no, I’m not a lesbian. I’m queer. And I think that’s really cool.” Danny affirmed JoJo’s sentiment. JoJo then declared, “I’m switching letters! Fuck the L — I’m going to the Q. That’s what I love about sexuality.”
Many assumed that JoJo’s transition from L to Q was a response to catching feelings for Chris Hughes. Others imagined it was a more inclusive term for JoJo because of Kath’s non-binary identity or even JoJo’s. On the Viall Files podcast this week, JoJo explained that “queer” is just what feels right to her right now, and that she’s been through a lot of labels, recalling, “I was looking at Danny and Danny and I had loads of conversations about being queer and gender identity and it was beautiful…. Sexuality is fluid. Gender identity is fluid. You can be one thing today and one thing tomorrow. People saying I have never been a lesbian is crazy… why is it not okay to say that I feel more queer now?”
On the Useless Hotline Podcast hosted by aforementioned Max Balegde and someone else, JoJo said: “Sometimes I get a little too much credit for being wiser beyond my years. But there are parts of me that are still 21. I might be really far matured in that I can handle situations because I’ve had to handle them from a young age, but when it comes to stuff like gender identity, when it comes to stuff like sexuality, when it comes to stuff like being in a relationship, when it comes to stuff that just comes from age.”
Why Did JoJo Break Up With Kath After Big Brother?
Jojo Siwa, Kath Ebbs at (Photo by Christopher Polk/Variety via Getty Images)
Kath, who’d been dating JoJo since late last year, flew out to the UK for the Big Brother after-party, at which they were promptly broken up with. In a video posted on a social media platform, Kath shared their recollection of said afterparty and the relationship itself. They said they considered JoJo one of the great loves of their life, that the relationship was full of intense intimacy, and that JoJo had expressed a desire to marry them.
But at the afterparty, JoJo told Kath that their feelings had changed and they no longer wanted to be with Kath, leaving Kath feeling numb, in shock, humiliated and embarrassed. “Everything we sort of saw unfold on what I thought was a fake reality show where I didn’t need to worry about the validity of my relationship was in fact laced in a lot of truth,” they said, “Which has been one of the most craziest intense awful horrific experiences I’ve gone through in my adult life.”
JoJo said in several interviews that she realized in the house that she was unhappy in several areas of her life, including her relationship, and that Kath “straight-up asked her” if she was happy at the party and she said no, thus leading to the breakup.
At the end of their video, Kath concluded: “I am proud of myself for how I showed up as the partner and the person that I want to be, a person who is fiercely loyal, and believes people.”
Did JoJo Cheat on Kath in the Big Brother House and Break Up With Them For Chris Hughes?
“There’s so many reasons why my breakup happened,” JoJo said on the Viall Files. “Christopher is not one of them… I did not [cheat on Kath with him], I would not, and I have not.”
On On This Morning, Hughes described their friendship as “just a really strong bond. A strong friendship. You can have a soul mate friendship. I think that’s the thing.”
JoJo echoed, “Look, he’s a great guy, it’s platonic. We have a lot of fun together.” She then added, “I don’t know the future, whatever life does, it will do.”
Just a sidenote that the comments on videos of this interview and other Chris/JoJo Materials seem absolutely ravenous for JoJo and Chris to get together, with a fervor that feels a little homophobic!
On the Viall Files, Siwa said that everything that happened with Chris on the show was within the boundaries she’d established with Kath prior to filming, and thus she was not worried that any of it would upset Kath. But as aforementioned, in Kath’s breakup video, they indicated feeling betrayed by JoJo’s in-house behavior.
Siwa also said she’d promised Kath she’d stop talking about them and the breakup publicly — but, that she was willing to share a little more because Kath’s breakup video did not “clear the air” regarding the breakup having nothing to do with Chris, as apparently Siwa had expected it to. Viall unfortunately encouraged Siwa pretty persistently to keep talking about it, and Siwa responded to his prompts, sharing limited details about Kath’s behavior during their breakup conversation. (JoJo often seems to think she’s required to give adults and audiences what she thinks they want from her; giving out more transparency than she owes them, or any of us, and certainly more than is kind to her exes.) Honestly, breakup conversations are traditionally unhinged affairs, especially for the one being dumped. I would probably have to change my name and start a new life on a remote island if anything I ever said in a breakup conversation was aired publicly. One popular clip is Siwa recalling that Kath had requested Siwa fly her back to Australia business class — truly, not an unreasonable ask from a massively wealthy ex who just broke your heart!
Ultimately, whatever happened between these two will never be understood completely or even partially by the public. They’re both good people who were in a relationship that didn’t work out.
During their time in the house, there was a lot of conversation around how to contextualize their affection and whether or not reactions to it qualified as homophobic or lesbophobic. This conversation was what led me to learn that Hughes was on the third season ever of Love Island and had a fan-fic-inspiring ‘bromance’ with his castmate Kem Cetinay, and then they started a band together called Chris & Kem and their top charting song was called “Little Bit Leave It” and included lines like had a league one chick now my tings prem / and some man gonna creep on the d-low / real talk that’s not me though. So.
JoJo Siwa Felt Like She Could Really Be Herself and Find Clarity In the Big Brother House
What’s much more interesting to me about this story is not the breakup itself, but how Siwa contextualizes the position of these reality shows in her life. We’re witnessing a new generation of “influencer” kids age into adulthood after growing up publicly on social media while often isolated from the “real world” and unable to access traditional childhood experiences.
Siwa’s relationship to these shows seems not dissimilar to how a theater kid might feel after closing night of the production they loved working on, or how one might recall a meaningful summer camp experience. She broke up with her first girlfriend, Kylie, after her time on Dancing With The Stars, during which she developed an intense bond with her straight dancing partner, Jenna, and then spoke for months afterwards about how much she missed Dancing With The Stars. These experiences transform JoJo in meaningful, life-altering ways — she’s currently enamored with the UK (and fwiw, commenters from the UK, who call her by her real first name, Joelle, are big fans), adopting new vocabulary and beverages into her routines. She watches old videos of Dance Moms in the same way other kids might pull out an old yearbook. It’s an earnest level of affection and nostalgia for these concentrated, intimate social experiences that she likely lacked growing up homeschooled. And despite having plenty of money in the bank and multiple projects underway, she continues signing up for reality TV shows like this one.
She’s said repeatedly that Celebrity Big Brother was basically therapeutic for her. “Being away from everything you know and for me, specifically, being away from the super publicness of my life [was good for me],” she said on the Useless Podcast. “I’ve alway seen what people had to say about me, I’ve always seen the immediate reaction from the world and I’ve always almost felt a pressure, right? Whereas in this house, I knew it was super public, but you’re not super conscious of it at the time, right? And you have 12 people around you and it matters what those twelve people think of you and I don’t know — I guess I just felt really comfortable with Tricia, with Chris obviously, just to have those moments.”
This is fascinating to me. That being recorded isn’t what makes Siwa feel a lack of control or agency over her own life — it’s the feedback, the comments, the response to her content. It was not needing to actively create content, to actively mold her image and present her brand and make decisions about how to execute her projects, that gave her clarity and time to think clearly. The filming itself? Well, that’s just par for the course. That’s a foregone conclusion.
“JoJo felt the most like themselves they’ve ever felt on a TV show that is literally about being watched 24/7,” said Coach Jackie on TikTok. “JoJo felt the most free she’s ever been on a show about surveillance. Sit with that for a moment.”
Riese, effusive thanks for this explainer. Fortunately, I got to completely bypass the decision about whether to watch BB because I was on holiday, with a bonus of deleting social media from phone as I had connecting flights in the US. So I was just occasionally seeing weird snippets about her and generally wondering wtf was happening!
Now I feel fully informed and totally none the wiser, which I think will always be the case when it comes to Jojo Siwa.
i did wonder a few times if you were watching and i feel that perhaps there is some distant goddess is looking out for us that you missed it all. bless us all and god bless holiday, connecting flights in the US and jojo siwa
i so appreciate that autostraddle has become the preeminent source for thoughtful jojo siwa analysis! thank you riese
you’re so welcome courtney
I find some of the discourse a bit biphobic.
In the sense that Jojo appears to be being criticized not just for (potential) infidelity but for (potentially) realizing that she is attracted to men.
(To be clear I meant some of the discourse cited in this article. I was not criticizing this article. This essay is great :) )
I can see why reality shows are working for her: Specifically, it means she gets to settle in one place for a while. And because it officially qualifies as “work” her team can’t say anything to her about it because she’s still creating content for her fans. Travel is great, but travel the way a lot of musicians have to do it isn’t so great – city after city in rapid succession, with little time off from work to actually experience the city, and even then it’s usually a nightclub or something, so it doesn’t confer the same benefits that you or I taking a vacation to a new city would receive. And there’s also value in getting to be in the same place for a little while so you can settle down, process your experiences, and figure out what works for you or not at a more easygoing pace. Constantly being on the go can lead to feeling rather unmoored.
If she were a little older, the go-to move she would make would be to host her own talk show or lead her own sitcom. That’s what other musicians do when they need to work but don’t want to tour anymore.
As for Kath Ebbs, eh. They were together for a few months and Siwa was on the show for a good chunk of that. Way too soon to be “partner” this and “partner” that, especially with someone who is freaking 21 years old. There was always an obvious expiration date to this relationship. It’s not fun to be broken up with but Ebbs should’ve seen this coming from day one and approached it as a fun fling rather than something that could be permanent.
yeah that’s a really good point about her staying in one place… on the useless podcast she was talking about like being the youngest person to perform a sellout tour in a certain number of countries and i was like wow like that’s a lot! for you to be doing so young. she kept talking also about how her memories from the house ran together because of the monotony of “being in the same place seeing the same people every day.” i know the BB house is specifically designed to feel timeless and like a capsule away from the world but i was like ‘this is interesting bc a lot of people actually are in the same place doing the same things every day as normal life’ but to her that was novelty.
and with kath… idk! i’ve definitely been in situations where the intensity of the person i was with made me believe Big Life Changing Love was happening even tho i should’ve known better. it’s hard to hear that right there in ur face with someone sweeping you off ur feet and continually remind yourself ‘ok it’s way too soon for us to really feel these things, for them to mean that about me.’ you think ur the exception, the special romance story like the ones in the movies.