Q:

I want to be a Person Who Journals™. I have tried and failed many times. It feels so cliche at this point, but every December I buy a new notebook that is supposed to be THE notebook, the one that magically transforms me into a Person Who Journals™ but it never sticks. I have tried everything from bullet journaling to looking at how others set up their journals to buying more structured planners to getting LESS structured options. I’ve tried tactics like habit stacking and trying to embed journaling into my daily life in some way, even putting a reminder on my phone (that I eventually disable because it becomes annoying lol). I set the intention to use the journal, both as a way to actually record my thoughts, feelings, and experiences and also just to make myself be more intentional about writing shit down, from to-do lists to upcoming plans and itineraries. I also want to document the walks I take this year and birds I see! I don’t want to do it with an app! Despite my journal failures, I’m also not really good at tracking things with apps and am trying to disinvest as much as possible from tech, social media, etc. I really value the importance of writing things longhand and want to do it more. All of the motivation and intention is there AND YET!!!!!!!!!! I end up stopping using the journal after the first few weeks of the year, occasionally remember it, and then get too in my head to start again, thinking about how much I “missed” in the interim (I know I need to get over this I KNOW!). I don’t want to give up on my dreams of being a Person Who Journals. I know I haved it in me. I just don’t know why it hasn’t stuck in the past or how I can set myself up for success but I BELIEVE there has to be a WAY. Please, what are your fool-proof strategies for consistent journal use? Help me, the fool.

A:

The best piece of advice I can give you about journaling is to stop taking other people’s advice about journaling.

Especially during this time of year, we’re inundated with videos and content about goal setting, resolutions, making changes to the daily structure of our lives with the intention of self betterment. I’m not against any of that, but I do think it has to all be taken with a massive grain of salt and an understanding that different things will work for different people. So no, there is not One trick or strategy to improving your life. Or, in your specific case, there is no one trick or strategy that’s going to magically turn you into a Person Who Journals. You have to stop listening to other people and listen to yourself (well, I guess, keep listening to me for a little bit!).

I do believe that you can become a Person Who Journals. I believe just about anyone can become a Person Who Journals. For those for whom it feels challenging, I think it has less to do with innate nature and more to do with ingested scripts and rules. We’re told — or shown, on social media — what a Person Who Journals looks like. They have an immaculately color-coded journal, tabs, systems, carefully written out agendas, calendars, lists, and goals. They write in pen but somehow never make mistakes. Their handwriting is neat and tidy. They never mess up.

Fuck that. I have long practiced an art I call “chaos journaling” which indeed stresses some people out, but it’s what works for me. For a while now, I’ve completely gone against any rhyme or reason when it comes to keeping diaries and journals by using mostly blank (unlined) journals and not filling them linearly but rather opening to a random page and just writing on that. I do not have designated notebooks for designated functions. Recipes can live next to essay ideas, and thoughts on a book I read can live next to a list I’ve made of writing residencies I should apply to. Maybe your list of birds can live next to your to-do list instead of in clearly delineated sections.

This works for me; it doesn’t have to work for you. But in order to become more consistent about journaling, I basically had to throw everything I previously thought about journaling out the window and do what felt natural, even if that resulted in what appears to be a disorganized and chaotic system to outside eyes (it all makes perfect sense to ME!).

This year, I have sort of formalized a system for my primary journal (even designating a notebook as a primary journal is a new concept for me, as previously all notebooks held equal status). This notebook will contain my goals and progress for four different but interlocking passions in my life: the novel I’m working on, my strength training journey, my new interest in running, and my amateur tennis “career.” It also contains a weekly calendar that I write out for myself every Sunday. There is no built-in calendar template in the notebook. I bought a dotted Moleskine and create a new grid each week that’s tailored to the week itself. There’s a place at the bottom of each day in the schedule part for STICKERS where I can put a sticker for predetermined accomplishments (I’ve decided I’ll give myself stickers for every run completed, every gym PR made, every match win in tennis, and every significant milestone met for my novel). Here’s a visual:

a snapshot of a journal

I’m also training for a 10K so I have a page toward the beginning of the journal with the big picture training plan for that that I can go back and update in addition to more granular updates in the day-to-day grid. What I want to show you about the 10K page is not how organized it is but rather the fact that I made an “error” and yet kept going:

10K training sample page

You see that scribbled pink box next to Week 4? That was where I accidentally wrote the wrong thing. There’s is a past perfectionist version of myself who would have ripped that page out of the journal to start again. I long abandoned that perfectionist though and my life has been so much better ever since.

I don’t know your brain, but it’s possible you, too, are getting in your own way when it comes to journaling not because you’re disorganized but because you are taking a perfectionist’s approach that is setting you up to fail. While these pages I’ve shared above may make it look like I’m extremely organized, many of my systems for journaling, goal tracking, etc. are perceived as quite disorganized to more traditionally Type A people. There will be pages that look like scribbled nonsense come a week, two weeks from now. I almost never keep a to-do list. Let me say that more explicitly: I am in the gym 3x a week, on the tennis court 3-5x a week, I write and teach all the time, and I manage a daily culture magazine (hello, the one you’re reading right now) as well as a newly launched print magazine and I DON’T KEEP A TO-DO LIST. YOU WILL NEVER FIND ONE IN MY NOTEBOOKS. Why? Because it’s simply not how my brain works.

You’ll see I’m using a lot of different colors in my journal, and there’s a vague system (certain broad colors, like all shades of purple for running stuff) to help me focus in on certain things, but I will not be militant about it. I can’t have myself misplacing my dark purple pen and then suddenly freaking out and freezing. Again, a past perfectionist version of myself may have. But I am not her anymore. I am someone who knows my systems don’t have to make sense to others to work for me. And I’m someone who generally avoids prescriptive guides to managing one’s life, picking and choosing what resonates and ignoring the rest. I’m frankly exhausted by so many of the lifehacky buzzwords prevalent on social media (including “habit stacking” — not dissing you for using it! just saying that if it didn’t work as an approach for you, that’s fine! don’t punish yourself! these methods are framed as being one-size-fits-all when they’re NOT).

Try keeping multiple notebooks instead of just one. Place them in different rooms. Don’t overthink it. Don’t overplan it. Or, plan it and then understand the plan might shift. You could be a totally different person with different desires and needs come May 2026. I could get injured and have to extremely adjust my running, tennis, and gym goals. Then maybe my primary journal turns into something else entirely.

Trust yourself. It’s okay to need to look to others for guides and templates (I myself have trouble visualizing layouts in my head — my day-today grid is inspired by my sister’s marathon training journal, with some of my own touches). But you also need to customize. “Streamlining” and “optimizing” are being pushed harder than ever before thanks to the empty, manipulative promises of AI. But I find the key to journaling isn’t optimizing; it’s customizing. A journal is so personal in its contents, so let it be personal in its form and function, too. Free yourself from the confines of what you believe a Person Who Journals does. I know you can become a Person Who Journals once you let yourself just do your thing without hard rules and pressure.

You can chime in with your advice in the comments and submit your own questions any time.