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"girl's club" by vivian joyner

Vice Magazine writer “is the dummy who fell for a plot to join what was most likely a fake lesbian porno, as chronicled in Vice’s Film Issue.” So she contacted some real queer pros to find out just where went wrong in Thiss is How We Do It,” which includes fascinating interviews featuring alt-porn movers & shakers like Jiz Lee, Crash Pad Series girls Syd Blakovitch, Dylan Ryan and Madison Young of MadisonBound.com. (@vice)

How to strengthen your “lady parts”! (By that they mean “vagina,” btw) Fun fact: Tatiana Kozhevnikova spent 15 years strengthening her lady parts with custom-made glass balls and worked her way up to lifting 31 lbs. (@the frisky)

Sinclair Sexsmith has A Manifesto for Radical Masculinity. (@carnalnation)

Top 5 Angelina Jolie Sex Scenes. (@nerve)

Pretty Girls for Saturday (@violet blue)

Tufts University has now officially banned having sex while your roommate is in the room on campus. How else would I have experienced my first second-hand same-sex experience, how else would I know so much about the noises large sweaty hairy men make when they are splurging all over their girlfriend’s stomach if my roommates had not freely rode the hobby horse while I attempted to slumber. Though actually all that happened in boarding school; by college I’d learned better and gotten a single. Enough about me, really this rule is unnecessary, now they’re just gonna do it in the woods or in the chem lab. Anyway silly rabbits, who cares about all that? I mean …. right? Lesbians can’t fuck, right? So what’s the problem? Here’s that video (I know I am fully on a tangent now, but here’s a video ok!”

The Tufts Daily thinks everyone’s ridiculous for picking up this story, and I’ve gotta say I agree with them. In addition to this point:

Google News has archived approximately 300 recent articles about the rule. Students at Tufts are largely unperturbed by the policy (they’re more interested in why it has caused such a stir among the approximately 6.95 billion people who do not attend Tufts). The fact that national news publications feel the need to report on this insignificant story should provide some insight into the reasons for the degradation that marks today’s news industry.

… they have a more major point, about how online media is so ridiculously defined by search engine optimization and stat-increasing techniques: “we’re in the era of “search engine optimization,” a practice by which Web sites — including some news sites — figure out how Google.com and other search engines generate results, and then manipulate their own Web pages to fit into that formula. It’s the reason that Esquire Magazine, known to be a cut above its relatively low-brow competitors like Maxim and FHM, titled the Web page for its photo shoot of Mary Louise Parker in her underwear, “Mary Louise Parker Naked Photos – Mary Louise Parker Ass – Esquire.”

As I learn more about SEO and observe the practices of similar sites and try to figure out how to do our best without sucking, I’m honestly appalled at how quickly media producers abandoned reader usability & meeting the needs of an audience in favor of optimizing content for a robot to scroll, index and “promote” properly.  We tend to think it’s kinda funny around here. For example, sometimes Lainea will tag her articles with “hot lesbians will come over and make lookbook have sex in your room,” as a joke, and it is funny. So keep laughing.

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Riese

Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3211 articles for us.

11 Comments

  1. “..“we’re in the era of “search engine optimization,” a practice by which Web sites — including some news sites — figure out how Google.com and other search engines generate results, and then manipulate their own Web pages to fit into that formula.”

    And you guys haven’t done that at all with this article! Hehe :)

  2. For its size the uterus is actually the strongest muscle in the body, in terms of force produced per lb of muscle. Gotta squeeze those babies out somehow!
    Also, your heart could also be termed the strongest, in terms of continuous power output. Or something along those lines.
    I think the butt muscles also feature prominently in this category.

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