Becky tries to go through with her performance of “So Far Away” with Quinn and Tina, and heavens to mergatroid, Dianna Agron’s voice just gets you in the gut, doesn’t it? And the place right below your guts. Why is everything about her so hair-yankingly tantalizing? I don’t understand. It should be illegal. If I were a closeted gay youth watching this show, thinking I was straight, every time she came on screen and opened her mouth I would hurl myself out a window. I would writhe around on the floor and cry and vomit. At least as a certified adult lesbian, I understand what’s going on inside me. Um, what. What am I talking about. Oh, right. Becky rushes out in the middle of the song and the girls chase her out to tell her some tough truths, mainly that she’s kind of an asshole.
And also, everyone lies to everyone at the beginning of relationships. It’s all just a farcical pantomime of pretending to get to know someone while concealing as much of yourself as possible. Quinn gets it because she lied to Finn about him being the father of her child. Tina told Artie she stuttered. Santana told everyone she was straight. But love is what comes after, when your girlfriend installs baby bumpers on the corners of your new fancy platform bed because you keep smashing your shins against the edges, and she still wants to have sex with you in that bed, even though you’re a person who needs something literally called Lionheart Whoopsie Guards to keep you from breaking your legs. Or, like, a less specific example from someone else’s life.
Love is when you both have a cold but you want the other person to stay in bed and you’ll make the tea. Love is when you give her the last cookie. Love is when you hang up her towel even though you’ve told her a thousand times to hang it up herself. Love is when you record her thing instead of yours, even though she’s the one who won’t delete stuff off the DVR. Love is when you go to bed angry and annoyed but wake up reaching for her the next morning anyway. Love is the pauses and the breaths and the spaces between all the things you say. It’s when you laugh when she laughs, even if you didn’t hear the joke. It’s when you accept her apology, even though your feelings are still hurt. Love is what happens after you lose the game of hide-and-seek and she sticks around anyway.
Santana says love is about finding someone who will put up with your crap. The camera asks Brittany’s face if it’s true and her face says it is, but also that love is when you’d rather put up with that person’s crap than live 100 crap-free years without them.
Becky’s like, “You’re all still some self-absorbed wankers, but thanks.”
Sue visits Coach Bieste to ask about the pills and the mood swings and the million personal days; she figures Beiste has cancer, and Beiste confirms it. So, in a meeting with Sam, Sue explains that he’ll be taking over the football team, but Beiste breaks down and explains that actually he has gender dysphoria, and he’s going to begin transitioning next week.
I’m very conflicted about them adding this storyline to the final season.Dot Marie Jones and Jane Lynch are both remarkable, let me say that. And god knows we need way more and way better trans representation on TV. But the reason I gave up on this show the first time was that awful storyline where Beiste just wanted to be kissed by a boy and Will was the fucking grossest thing. And then I quit again when Besite got into that abusive relationship. Being a woman with a more masculine appearance has been the hinge of Beiste’s entire characterization. And there are so few masculine women on television! Also, I am really not over how awful Glee was to Unique, and I feel her absence from this season as keenly as if one of the OG New Directioners weren’t here. I’m a white cis lesbian from rural Goergia, so my viewpoint is limited. Sigh. I hope they don’t fuck it up.
Finally, at Bredstix, Becky comes clean to Darrell about how she has Down Syndrome (which makes him smile) and also that she’s not Angela Merkel’s top adviser. He says they’re going to have a lot of pressure from the outside world, so they have to have each other’s backs inside their relationship. (This episode has a lot of weirdly excellent relationship advice.) Becky agrees — and then she slaps a strawberry milkshake onto the floor because it’s disgusting.
New New New Directions sing “You Live, You Learn”/”You’ve Got a Friend.” Which is all any of us really want, in the end. Someone to live with and learn from and be our best friend. Well, and to triumph over the patriarchy and the entrenched misogyny of broadcast network television and achieve quality representation for queer characters that resonate with the queer experiences inside our souls.
You lived, you learned, Lesbian Blogger Community. You know, that and you started a revolution.