Quiz: Which Lesbian Rant Are You About To Go On at Family Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time for food, family, gratitude, and going on a timely and urgent rant at the dinner table. It’s a tried and true queer tradition, is it not? And if you have some anxiety about an incoming family gathering, allow me to lighten the mood with this silly little quiz predicting exactly what YOU will get all fired up about.

Which Lesbian Rant Are You About To Go On at Family Thanksgiving?

Pick a Thanksgiving side:(Required)
What event would you like to attend?(Required)
What’s a lesbian hobby you do or want to do?(Required)
What were you known for as a child?(Required)
What are you known for now?(Required)
What do you look for in a friend?(Required)
What’s a dating dealbreaker?(Required)
Pick a novel (you can just go off title vibes if you haven’t read any of these or look them up and go off the synopsis — also you should read all of them btw):(Required)
What haunts you?(Required)
What excites you?(Required)
What would you be most likely to throw money at?(Required)

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, fiction, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the former managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, The Rumpus, Cake Zine, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The AV Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. When she is not writing, editing, or reading, she is probably playing tennis. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 1121 articles for us.

5 Comments

  2. I actually am too food motivated / conflict avoidant to actually go on rant at Thanksgiving. But I got history and colonization.

    “Look, if we’re going to celebrate a “holiday” that both downplays and glorifies violence again Indigenous people, we might as well TALK ABOUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.”

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  4. Love this but I’m an anti-Zionist in a family of zionists and trump fans, I already know how I’m crashing out this holiday (although there’s a non zero chance abt me also crashing out re:the big one) (why limit myself)

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