Playlist: My 2018 Brand Is for Wealthy Divorceés When Martha’s Vineyard Isn’t Enough

[Text] 2018 Personal Brand Playlists / Autostraddle [Image] Collage of various images including feet in a blue bathtub, a girl wearing a crown over her eyes, an old vintage stamp, an instamax image of a FEMME sign, veronica from riverdale, and an illustration of a crystal.

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Scene: French countryside in winter.

I am wrapped in a floor length faux fur coat and earmuff. My new diamond earrings and rings sparkle in the brisk sunshine. From afar, I watch the children playing with their au pair in a grassy knoll. I look down and there is a glass of champagne in my hand – how fitting. I drink my champagne with glee, relishing the cold breeze blowing across my face. My phone rings: it’s my ex-husband’s lawyer. I reject the call. Suddenly a hand clothed in the softest leather glove lands on my shoulder. It’s my new lover, Ashanti. The phone rings again and I throw it off of a cliff (we’re on a cliff now) as we kiss. Our hair tangles in the wind. The waves crash behind us.

Blackout.

For Wealthy Divorceés When Martha’s Vineyard Isn’t Enough

You Don’t Own Me, Leslie Gore

Starboy, The Weeknd

Somebody Else, VÉRITÉ

Breaking Up is Hard to Do, Neil Sedaka

Girls! Girls! Girls!, Liz Phair

Habits (Stay High), Tove Lo

Tears Dry on Their Own, Amy Winehouse

You Don’t Own Me, Grace

Bitch, Lolawolf

Do It Again, Röyksopp & Robyn

Wolves, Selena Gomez

Taking Chances, Céline Dion

So Pretty, Leonard Bernstein

She Loves Control, Camila Cabello

Tomboy, Habibi

IDGAF, Dua Lipa

Sorry Not Sorry, Demi Lovato

CRZY, Kehlani

Bitch Better Have My Money, Rihanna

Night and Day, Diana Krall

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Alaina is a 20-something working on a PhD in Performance as Public Practice. They are a mom to three cats, they listen to a lot of NPR and musicals, and they spend a lot of time on Pinterest lusting over studio apartments. They are actively trying to build A Brand on twitter @alainamonts. One day, they will be First Lady of the United States.

Al(aina) has written 203 articles for us.

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