NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Stands With Enby

Feature image of Halo the GxdBody and La Muxer Diosa in Crash Pad Series episode 305. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Sal Marquez and Vivi Marie

Sal Marquez and Vivi Marie in Crash Pad Series episode 310

Wild Flower Sex, a sex toy company, is trying to claim ownership of the term “enby,” namely by suing Enby, a different (and Black and trans-owned) sex toy company (and Autostraddle affiliate), over their use of the word. At Wear Your Voice, Sherronda J. Brown writes, “Enby is for an entire marginalized community. It should never be privatized and owned. The lengths to which white people will go to claim illegitimate ownership is unconscionable”:

“Not only are they attempting to steal and then profit from something that is meant for a community of marginalized folks—trying to prohibit enbies from using enby, such is the violence and absurdity of colonizers—but they are also out to destroy a business by and for enbies.

Wear Your Voice stands in support of Enby and against the owners of Wild Flower Sex, who have proven themselves to be anti-Black and harmful to queer Black folks in the sexuality space. We stand against and condemn any and all companies which share Wild Flower’s values and continue to work with them knowing the harm they have caused, helping to uphold white supremacy and perpetuate it in the sexuality profession. “

You can support Enby’s legal defense fund here.

Mistress Tom deFun and Blair

Mistress Tom deFun and Blair in Crash Pad Series episode 311

Your attachment style impacts your relationships, writes Eve Ettinger at Allure:

“If you can see yourself clearly and are able to stay grounded and talk through difficult things in an open manner without getting emotionally flooded or shut down, you probably have a secure attachment style. Baltimore-based therapist Mary Rimi says, ‘Someone with secure attachment is more likely to look at situations more objectively, without overindulging in self-blame, while still being able to take ownership of mistakes.’

For me, feeling the sense of a secure attachment is usually about knowing that things that make me anxious are safe to bring up in a relationship withaout the fear of negative reactions to my vulnerability. It doesn’t mean that there’s no conflict or difficulty working through things, but it means that conflict produces greater intimacy, security, and growth, rather than a contact high of codependent enmeshment or a total shutdown of intimacy.”

Friend of the pod Chingy Nea wrote this excellent piece on starting and maintaining online and long-distance relationships.

Want your chest more involved in sex? Here’s how.

Here’s how to work out with a significant other.

Here’s what sex toy you should buy.

Here are the physical symptoms of stress.

Indonesian authorities are burning sex toys in raids.

La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart

La Muxer Diosa and Zoie Blackheart in Crash Pad Series episode 281

What do you do when you’re sad over a relationship that never happened?:

“Reality is often disappointing. At the very least, the good parts of it are buttressed by responsibilities, less pleasant moments, mundane tasks, and, well, pain. What makes these “almost relationships” so easy to romanticize is also what makes them so potent—they are mostly blank canvasses. We can fill them out with whatever we want.

This is why you get so many people swearing, swearing, that their perfect relationship was on the very cusp of happening right before they moved or something interrupted the dynamic. I’m not saying they’re always wrong. I’m just saying it’s so, so much easier to think that way when you have all this room to picture what might have been.”

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Carolyn Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Carolyn has written 1120 articles for us.

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