NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is in Tinder Purgatory

Feature image of Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Golden Curlz and Vivienne Vai

Golden Curlz and Vivienne Vai in Crash Pad Series episode 273

Censoring sex workers’ social media impacts everyone, writes Chingy Le Gay at MTV:

“Since the advent of the internet, sex workers have leveraged its access and reach to market their services and build their fan bases, just as other entrepreneurs, artists, and freelancers do. But the recent implementation of new content policies by a number of sites have resulted in a tightened view of what content those companies believe is or isn’t appropriate for their platforms. Users whose posts fall outside of this scope are often penalized as a result, in ways ranging from having their posts removed without warning to finding that their accounts have been deleted. And while not the only group struggling under these policies, sex workers are disproportionately affected by these changes.”

In their ongoing war on sex, Facebook and Instagram have banned all the horniest emoji.

Is sex addiction real?

Here are some dating horror stories by zodiac sign.

Here’s the sex diary of a queer switch having kinky foursome polycule sex.

What happens when professors see their students on dating apps?:

“While all of the faculty members I asked said that they have “swipe left” policies when they see students on dating apps, some told me that certain dating apps make it difficult to prevent students from interacting with them. […] Marie adds that Her has an age-limit mechanism she uses, ‘but people who have you in their age-limit range can still see you and try to match with you.’

Such visibility can lead to awkwardness and invasions of privacy, even though dating apps aren’t strictly private realms. ‘My undergrads found about my transition by seeing me on Her, and I only found out afterwards,’ Ortberg-Lavery, a trans woman, tells me. ‘I was mortified.'”

Chocolate Chip and Emperatrix

Chocolate Chip and Emperatrix in Crash Pad Series episode 278

At MTV, Arabelle Sicardi writes about Tinder purgatory, “the nebulous state of actively attempting but struggling to find authentic romantic connections online”:

“In my own personal survey of people in long-term relationships who have historically used dating apps, some of them did meet online, but the context of their meet-cutes is also important: They just moved into the neighborhood, they found each other’s profiles through mutual friends’ introductions or tagged photos, they were introduced at parties and rediscovered each other online. My best friend and I both met our partners through mutual friends who used Instagram as a dating match-maker, for example, and a great deal of our friends met through long-time beaus at well-coordinated dinner parties set up for the cause. There’s an aspect of intention and a willingness to be surprised that has to be there to get something more out of it than just a “super like” and the heart-eyes emoji. In that regard, it’s not surprising that 53 percent of the people surveyed consider dating apps worse than having a friend set you up with someone. Still, a great deal of those folks keep dating apps on their phones just in case it doesn’t work out. As for my friends and I — yes, we still have Tinder, Bumble, and others on our phones. Just in case, and just because.”

Bambi Belle and Denali Winter

Bambi Belle and Denali Winter in Crash Pad Series episode 280

Here’s how to support a partner with sexual trauma:

“First, I would give your girlfriend a heads up that you want to talk about trauma, and ask her when would be a good time for her. Don’t bring it up in the bedroom, or right after she has had a trauma response. Instead, aim for a time when she’s feeling calm and collected.

Reiterate that you were listening to her when she told you that she has a trauma response during sex. Tell her that you’re so sorry she’s had to go through sexual abuse, and you’re proud of her for seeking psychotherapy in the past.

Then bring up the idea of sex therapy, specifically.”

Carolyn Yates was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She lives in Los Angeles by way of Montreal and Toronto. Find her on twitter or instagram.

Carolyn has written 999 articles for us.

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