NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Feeling Feelings

The feature image of Ashley Paige and Ava D’Amore and all of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from fetish site Mondo Fetiche. The inclusion of a visual here is not an assertion of a model’s gender or orientation.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Mimosa, Magenta Lexe, Vanessa Darling

Mimosa, Magenta Lexe, and Vanessa Darling for Mondo Fetiche

You can have great sex even when you don’t feel very sexy:

“You should feel comfortable talking to a partner about anything, but that’s easier said than done. After all, you don’t feel comfortable getting intimate with them physically, so it isn’t hard to imagine you feel weird about getting intimate with them conversationally. Still, you really should.

If you’re feeling down on yourself and it’s impacting your sex life, you deserve to work through it with them for your own sake, but they also deserve to know what’s going on with you. If you’re constantly trying to get out of sack sessions, you could be hurting their feelings or confusing them. An open, honest conversation about how you feel is likely to help you both reach some conclusions and find some solutions. It won’t hurt you to hear straight from them that they still find you attractive and want to be with you. If there are issues there, you can work on fun ways to overcome them together.”

Valentine Boudreaux, Lain Arbor, River Gray

Valentine Boudreaux, Lain Arbor, and River Gray for Mondo Fetiche

Humanity is bad at monogamy.

“[W]hat’s really going on in your body (and pants) when you feel equally spooked and horny? More importantly, how can we harness this sense of thrill to spice up our sex lives?

Stigma around HIV+ performers in the porn industry still has a long way to go.

Please enjoy this extended meditation on what would happen if you went back in time and had sex with yourself.

Here’s what’s up with sex parties right now.

Mimosa, Magenta Lexe, and Vanessa Darling

Mimosa, Magenta Lexe, and Vanessa Darling for Mondo Fetiche

What does it mean when people say to feel your feelings?:

“The implicit idea in “feeling your feelings” is that talking about your emotions—“intellectualizing” them to your therapist or to yourself—is not the same thing as feeling them. The umbrella term prioritizes the physical and subjective aspect of emotions over the cognitive. The trouble is that these aspects may be difficult to tease apart, and attempting to do so isn’t a hard-and-fast rule for a healthy emotional life depending on what your emotional habits are already and the culture you live in.

The advice to feel your feelings can be a good reminder not to spend too much time in your head.”

Selene Sun and Dr. Elody Rose

Selene Sun and Dr. Elody Rose for Mondo Fetiche

Is your partner anxious? Are you? Here’s how to stop passing it back and forth:

“Getting frustrated and telling your partner to be less anxious is one of the least helpful things you can do. ‘The anxious partner isn’t intentionally making the other person anxious,’ says couples therapist Caitlin Cantor. Therefore, she says it’s best to simply take steps to self-soothe (and remember, if you’re able to calm yourself down, that can relax your anxious partner, too).

As for how to alleviate your anxiety, there are all sorts of ways. Raymond, for instance, suggests grounding yourself by tuning into the physical feelings of your feet on the floor or your butt in a chair. She also recommends taking deep breaths, which activate your parasympathetic nervous system and subsequently make you feel safe. ‘You may want to do that with your partner, too,’ she adds. Meanwhile, Buscho says, ‘It helps to visualize a calm, safe place in nature, like the beach or the mountains.'”


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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for Autostraddle.com, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.

3 Comments

  1. That feel your feelings article was so good. I’ve never understood what people meant when they said that. I could not disagree more with the idea that emotions are entirely bodily sensations and nothing else.

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