NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Is Delaying Orgasm

Feature image of Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279. All of the photographs in this NSFW Sunday are from the Crash Pad. The inclusion of a visual here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexuaal orientation. If you’re a photographer or model and think your work would be a good fit for NSFW Sunday, please email carolyn at autostraddle dot com.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

Barbary Rose and Rion Rhodes in Crash Pad Series episode 277

“Most of us have really narrow definitions of relationships, but the reality is that we can be so much more creative with those definitions.” If you’re in a monogamous relationship and want to open it, sex and relationship therapist Vanessa Marin has some advice on how:

“The first thing I recommend is that the two of you do some research. Whenever I’m working with a couple contemplating an open relationship, I tell them to read The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino is another great read for those who are interested in polyamory.

There are so many open relationship configurations that you can try, depending on your desires and preferences, and these books are great primers. Read together, talk through the options that the two of you could pursue, and see what kinds of reactions come up for each of you. You want to feel like a team, making a decision together.”

Blair and Megan Reeves in Crash Pad Series episode 279

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Chocolate Chip and Emperatrix in Crash Pad Series episode 278

Vaginismus, which can make penetration painful and/or impossible for people with vaginas, can be physical and emotional with lots of different causes:

“Vaginismus is proof that our body and mind are connected and that our emotional well-being can impact our physical health. The causes can be both emotional and physical and vary from person to person. They can include obstetrical violence, pain or trauma related to childbirth, STIs, sexual assault, and more.

Emotions or trauma not related to sex can cause it, as well. ‘While muscle spasms in the pelvic floor are what cause the pain, the spasms may be triggered by emotional or physical trauma, past and present, Varnam and Knight tell Allure. ‘The vagina tightens or ‘closes’ in order to protect itself.”‘”

Lindsay Cin and Valentine in Crash Pad Series episode 276

People with vulvas and related equipment sometimes come earlier than they want to and when that happens, here’s what you can do:

“Amy Baldwin, a somatic sex and relationship coach for the wellness app Juicebox, certified sex educator, and founder of the podcast Shameless Sex, recommends edging, or masturbating almost to the point of orgasm and stopping, for as long as you can, then showing your partner how you do it.

Queen advises figuring out if a particular sexual act or position triggers premature orgasms and avoiding them if you want to last longer. Layla recently got up the courage to tell a partner to slow down and be gentler, which helped her delay orgasm.

If you do orgasm earlier than intended, there are also ways to make continuing more pleasurable. Marin recommends holding your hand or your partner’s hand still over your clitoris, or taking a break from all stimulation until it feels comfortable again.”

Carolyn Yates is the NSFW Consultant, and was formerly the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor, for Autostraddle.com. Her writing has appeared in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, Xtra!, Jezebel, and elsewhere. She recently moved to Los Angeles from Montreal. Find her on twitter.

Carolyn has written 909 articles for us.

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